Would like to hear your thoughts on a confusing friendship with an INTP | INFJ Forum

Would like to hear your thoughts on a confusing friendship with an INTP

Oct 19, 2017
So the thing is - I have this friend - we used to like each other and were sort of dating several years ago, but then things ended abruptly - he found a girlfriend in someone who was his best friend. We would still rarely meet and have deep conversations, he started to express regret and left his girlfriend for me, but already had plans to leave the continent for a couple of months. When he came back we had sex and afterwards I felt frightened (which I never explained to him) and started to avoid him, he renewed relationship with his former girlfriend and we stopped communicating for a while. Naturally we started to talk again, met a couple of times and had sex (this time he cheated on his girlfriend) and after a couple of days I said that I want to be with him and he said that he needs to be single. He initiated for us to meet and to talk about everything, but somehow we did not meet and again stopped communicating. A year or more passed, he now is together with the same girl he was then, we're talking again, this time I hope we will be strictly platonic, cause his intellect and insights have an immense value. Just the other day we met and were sitting and talking about some philosophical stuff, he then rested his head on my shoulder, hugged me for a long time and was holding my hands. It was innocent and tender, and maybe it only seemed romantic to me because we have a past. I realised it only after, that actually maybe that was not appropriate and there needs to be some boundaries for the sake of everyone. What would be his motivation behind actions like these? Why would he be so cuddly? What do you think about this overall? I could really use some objectivity.
I think this fellow is struggling with the idea of a relationship. He must know that this is hurtful to his girlfriend just by being with you, but does appreciate you a lot. Might even love you. He did have boundaries though like he should. He seems very committed to having you by him though, and I think you might end up having a relationship at some point. My first love was in a long relationship aswell when we first hooked up. I waited for a couple of years for the relationship to end, as I saw it as a thing that wasn't making her happy. I asked her to my party then after a few years and did collide yet again. We had the best of days, and yet she left and felt like she needed to be single for a while. And I do get her, she'd been entangled in a relationship for so long that she didn't know what to do, and not to make any harsh decisions. There's no going back to friendship now though. Much like you two I think. He loves you but needs to hold back for the sake of her relationship. Her girlfriend must have been heartbroken too many times already.
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He wants to have intiment relations with you. He wants 2, 3 maybe 4 or more girlfriends waiting on the sidelines for when he wants to have fun.
This seems obvious to me.
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He sounds like a player so I would dump him and never see him again. Btw if we’re using MBTI as an indicator, he could be any type and still behave like a dick.
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I suppose he is not interested in relationship with you. He is just playing because you allowed him to do that. If I am attracted to someone there is no sexual tension in it. There can be sexual attraction if I am not interested in personality. Strongest attraction comes from Fe and Intuition. If it is strong enough I simply tend to forget about physical aspects.

Starting relationship in a bed is horrible idea. It moves his focus from most important things.
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