Worst things you've done in the inferior function | INFJ Forum

Worst things you've done in the inferior function

PastelpinkPuppy

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Jul 10, 2017
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Some two years ago i was working as an art teacher and I got so stressed almost a year later i quit. Funny how an art job can make me stressed right? But....Make up students came on days where classes were full load, every kid was doing a different thing, water bowls needed changing, calls needed to be answered, boss had great expectations, walk-ins needed to be handled while the class goes neglected, paint needed to be squeezed and adding on students needed to be taught, we had to prepare fast before the next batch of students came in as well, payment and cheques also had to be done immediately after. I had to show a smile to kids and adults, even after being so drained, to welcome them with high pitched voices and look excited as my boss complained i didnt have energy. Kids who wanted to hide under the table or not listen. Sometimes girls with long hair got their hair stuck in the hair dryer and there would be burning smells. Paint needed to be replenished. Students works needed touching up according to boss. Works had to be hair dryer-dried before filing, one class ranged from a 4year old kid to a 8-9 year kid and all wanted different colors or positions of their subject matter. We came to work late like 1pm and we ended at 9pm, no proper dinner break at all such that we had to eat in class some small snacks or bread etc. She didnt pay OT and we needed to mark attendance as well making our work end over 9pm. Each work needed to be completed within two lessons ( meaning one week one lesson etc). Brushed needed washing. Holidays come and all are happy except us, it was hell, chaos, and we had to do samples, prepare canvasses, clay, watercolor and wcpaper etc. Worry how to teach kids who have zero knowledge on art. Have frequent meetings on how to do things. The toilet door was translucent and a foldable door that cant be fully locked. I got so paranoid with that because there were kids and men around and i felt so insecure. In my stressful period i downed four bottles of coke a day for four months straight and got so addicted with chewing ice i chewed daily for another few months. I ate and ate even when i wasnt hungry, i didnt know how to stop and i had no self control. Whatever i saw that was so pretty i had to buy it even if it meant overspending. Or i would binge watch dramas till the next morning till i completed all the episodes. I was hospitalised due to low blood count and never realised i was anaemic, i told my boss about my thoughts but she compared me to her senior staff and i could sense she felt i was lacking and incompetent and complaining and not doing a good job. I felt resentful and felt my boss was only in for the money and development of her franchise, our pleas were not heard and she continued to pretend she cared for us.

I had had enough and I quit, i still miss those days with my colleagues but i realised a job like this with too much multi-tasking and impromptu situations really affected my mental health. I also had an extraverted perceiver colleague. She could handle last minute changes and accept things easily, it took a long time for me to accept the situations as they gave me tremendous stress. And back then i never knew i was a judger as i was isfp at that period of time. I really hated sudden changes and got really unhappy and angry about it. My friend and partner in the same room had also quit and i was left alone to teach there. My boss was a big fake who smiled whenever parents were around but refused to look at me unless she had something to tell me. I have flatfeet and wore slippers, she said no slippers as everyone had to take out their shoes so the teachers must as well. I literally ignored her and continued wearing them, it made no sense here is a person having to teach long hours without sitting, walking continuously, having flatfeet which hurt so much after last class and all she requested was for me to wear socks. My respect was lost for her.

I cant stand people who think they care but really it shows in your actions and choice of words. So what guys are your darkest times and what have you done to cope with stress? And i wonder if anyone is a major coke fan too.
 
Well, it ain't pretty...

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Extreme paranoia, distrusting literally everyone, becoming obsessive over one thing, a brief but potent bout of depression.... impulsive, instant gratification kind of behavior, lack of care for others.... yep pretty nasty side effects all at once due to a very very dark rabbit hole I jumped into, I am a monster when I’m in an extended, constant state of stress and discontentment... then again, we all have that dark side to us don’t we
 
So what guys are your darkest times and what have you done to cope with stress?
To cope with stress: I exercise.

Under severe stress: I get emotional, impulsive, etc.
 
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Flushing important things down toilets, wardrobe fails, tripping over invisible things and running into inanimate objects and reacting like they're attacking me, misplacing items and finding them again in places they should never be, like the freezer... Ahhh, it's a great life failing at Se.
 
I hit a boy in my class because he bullied my friend. That happened in 3rd grade.
My grade school was really bad, I clashed with several bullies a few times, probably.
 
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So many things and it would make a wall of text just to list it all but in short I become unstable where I can get rather dark in emotions while at the same time be like a viper with my words and my actions. I don't like being around swarms of people at all and I am one of those who goes at a slower pace than society especially when it comes to work. The worst that I've done is flying off the handle so to speak giving people a piece of my mind where I let them have it though often still in control, being a viper has its perks where even the worst narcs will get scared of you eventually. Modern life for HSPs in general is like having combat fatigue where the stress of life is often near the limit from everyday things like work/school and exceptions by society but the main stressor is always people in general. It really does suck to be stuck in the USA where everyone is expected to be an extrovert 110% of the time to the point where even extroverts are often near the breaking point.

How it feels
 
Flushing important things down toilets, wardrobe fails, tripping over invisible things and running into inanimate objects and reacting like they're attacking me, misplacing items and finding them again in places they should never be, like the freezer... Ahhh, it's a great life failing at Se.

Definitely this …

A few years ago went on holiday and lost my car keys while unloading at our destination. 2 days of fretting and spoiled holiday. Found them at the bottom of a bag full of other stuff I'd dropped them in at the car because I hadn't got enough hands free to put them away properly - and forgotten by the time I'd gone inside. My shins are constantly scarred by solid things with spiteful personalities that attack me. When I'm driving I often rely on the car to find the way while I'm off with the Ni fairies - it's been ok so far so unconscious Se gods must be protecting me…...

It's very bad if I think I've upset someone or get involved with some sort of conflict -

(image of doom) <-> (angst) <-> (analyse, think, analyse, diagnose, scenario play) <-> (more angst) <-> (more image of doom)

and cycle indefinitely. If I'm lucky this just burns itself out, but sometimes I've exploded with anger, or written daft convoluted messages to people full of over-extended logic.

If I go completely over the edge, I become emotionally empty apart from deep sadness, lose all my energy drink a "little" too much alcohol and spend a lot of time outdoors in the great Se.
 
By middle age, our inferior functions should be developed, so how the inferior function "makes us behave" should change over the span of our lives.
(I'm more concerned with what shadow functions cause us to do. Yikes!)

Inferior Se makes INFJs/INTJs want to pore over instructions, maps, etc, and write down directions/instructions for simple tasks where we shouldn't need to. It makes it hard for us to "be in the moment". (I'm convinced the advice to "live in the moment" is only healthy for Sensors.) It means we're not detail oriented, even if Ni (which fills in the gaps by making connections) makes it seem like we are.
 
IDK what my inferior function is (my guess is inferior Ne or Fi). I become extremely emotional, obsessive, and sensitive. I become so fixated on finding answers and I find myself in a spiral of hopelessness. If I break an internal rule of mine (or external belief), I am doomed. Extreme perfectionism overtakes rationality, making me become worried.
 
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Under stress, I kind of shut down. Spend entire days on the computer trying to research stuff, but not getting anything done. I find myself avoiding stuff. Putting stuff off and then regretting I didn't take action.
This. Plus I want stuff. I become selfish. Like now.
 
My stress causes me to become very self centered and ask myself constantly "What about me? When do I get what I want/ need?"

Then I start taking matters into my own hands and becoming very self indulgent. Overeating, eating wrong things, shopping and justifying my purchases, eating more, whining about not being loved enough...

Goddamnit. I'm in the grip now. Ate a sandwich today, did no schoolwork whatsoever and read a short story about werewolves and their unbreakable bonds within the "pack" and their "mates". It's a fucking fantasy world. Werewolves and those bonds don't fucking exist. Oh, I also become overly cynical and bitter.

I get the satisfaction from reading about others' love and friendships because I feel "cheated" and looked over in my life... like for real April... you aren't two years old... you don't get to whine about shit that isn't handed to you on a silver plate.

I'm thoroughly disgusted with myself right now. Acting like a spoiled child. :(

I want to slap myself around.