Why do we need relationships?

Madgirl143

Madgirl143

Banned
MBTI
INFJ
Didn't know where to put this, so ended up here.

Is it weird that sometimes I don't see the point in being in a relationship other than for sexual reasons? Why do people spend their lives looking for one person when there's about 7 billion people in the world. Why do we shun others and admire others? What is the meaning of having someone to spend the rest of your life with? Don't people get bored or feel claustrophobic when they have to spend everyday with one person? I understand that we need companionship, but we get that from friends and family, so is there any other reason for relationships except sex? Do people think about these things or do they just follow their biological instincts?
 
No I don't think you're being that weird thinking about that. I'm tired out of my skull right now so can hardly make a point, let alone think it through.

We're at a point where we aren't as tied down to our biological constructs or however you want to phrase it so I don't think it is that weird that people would want to look past past limits. Which I think is why we have been monogamous or what not. Now what is the right thing to do? Who knows.
 
Thanks for replying, maybe I should have put it in the philosophy area. It's not about whether there is a right or wrong answer just that I find it a bit concerning sometimes. I wonder why other people get into relationships.
 
Madgirl143 said:
What is the meaning of having someone to spend the rest of your life with?
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Stability.
It means different things for everyone. It's better for yourself and for others to know whether or not a stable relationship is the thing for you or not, so exploring this topic is pretty important.
 
Wyote said:
Stability.
It means different things for everyone. It's better for yourself and for others to know whether or not a stable relationship is the thing for you or not, so exploring this topic is pretty important.
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I see, so a lot of people ask these things then, it's a process important in dating and relationships. Sometimes I wonder if the questions I have are common knowledge or not. Growing up as an only child reduces sources of information. I guess that's the reason people get into relationships, to figure out what they want? They don't normally figure out beforehand?
 
Madgirl143 said:
And some things, no? Is that because people bring a lot stuff in a relationship that help in the process of understanding why you're in that relationship?
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Lolwat
 
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Madgirl143 said:
Well you said earlier that some things "yes" and some things "no". You said the first part is for me to find out, so what about the "no" part? Is it something you realise once you're in a relationship?
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I don't know what your specific question is. Some things about relationships you figure out independently and some things you can discover by being in one. The specific things are different for everyone so I can't answer for you.
 
Wyote said:
I don't know what your specific question is. Some things about relationships you figure out independently and some things you can discover by being in one. The specific things are different for everyone so I can't answer for you.
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Yes, that's what I said you said. Sorry I kinda write the way I speak, I'll try and reduce the fluff. Well thank you, I appreciate it.
 
Madgirl143 said:
I see, so a lot of people ask these things then, it's a process important in dating and relationships. Sometimes I wonder if the questions I have are common knowledge or not. Growing up as an only child reduces sources of information. I guess that's the reason people get into relationships, to figure out what they want? They don't normally figure out beforehand?
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I too am an only child and was content being single, then I got married. I think society pressures us from a young age that you must get married and have kids otherwise you’re a freak. Anyway I’m divorced now so I don’t have any advice to give you other than if you’re fortunate enough to meet a compatible partner who you’re in love with, perhaps you’ll be willing to take a chance and be happy together.
 
Madgirl143 said:
Didn't know where to put this, so ended up here.

Is it weird that sometimes I don't see the point in being in a relationship other than for sexual reasons?
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There's also financial stability and....ugh... emotional support.

Why do people spend their lives looking for one person when there's about 7 billion people in the world.
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"You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come. "
-Robert Greene
Why do we shun others and admire others?
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Because some people are so useless that they don't deserve admiration.
What is the meaning of having someone to spend the rest of your life with?
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Control, a sense of predictability over one's life.
Don't people get bored or feel claustrophobic when they have to spend everyday with one person?
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Definitely, but the path to domination is unfortunately paved with boredom.

I understand that we need companionship, but we get that from friends and family, so is there any other reason for relationships except sex?
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Forming a larger network of family, a tribe that will protect your interests because you're a member.

Do people think about these things or do they just follow their biological instincts?
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They think about these things to a shallow extent, creating justifications for following their biological instincts.
 
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Pin said:
There's also financial stability and....ugh... emotional support.


"You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come. "
-Robert Greene
Because some people are so useless that they don't deserve admiration.
Control, a sense of predictability over one's life.
Definitely, but the path to domination is unfortunately paved with boredom.

Forming a larger network of family, a tribe that will protect your interests because you're a member.

They think about these things to a shallow extent, creating justifications for following their biological instincts.
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Wow, thank you. I feel enlightened. You've given me much to think about, it's good advice.
 
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The older I get, the more interested I am in meeting someone worthwhile, to build a life with. A best friend, but a partner.

But often I have the same questions. Beyond the physiological need for intimacy, what's the point? I don't want kids, ideally. I'm more than terrible at surface level communication, so meeting people is extremely hard. Dating apps are miserable. I've had one decent connection, but I'm skeptical of most women's intentions. I can't really trust that anyone is genuine lately.

If dating is causing me so much stress and anger, why do I put up with it?
 
Ryso89 said:
The older I get, the more interested I am in meeting someone worthwhile, to build a life with. A best friend, but a partner.

But often I have the same questions. Beyond the physiological need for intimacy, what's the point? I don't want kids, ideally. I'm more than terrible at surface level communication, so meeting people is extremely hard. Dating apps are miserable. I've had one decent connection, but I'm skeptical of most women's intentions. I can't really trust that anyone is genuine lately.

If dating is causing me so much stress and anger, why do I put up with it?
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Tell me about, I'm on the same boat. I decided that I will wait for an old fashioned moment but guys this side of the hemisphere don't approach/initiate often. Dating apps are just full of racist fetishists that I can't be bothered with, I mean I'm only in my early 20s, I don't need to be traumatised. But I guess I'm glad I decided to post this thread. Thanks for the contribution. :smiley:
 
Madgirl143 said:
Tell me about, I'm on the same boat. I decided that I will wait for an old fashioned moment but guys this side of the hemisphere don't approach/initiate often. Dating apps are just full of racist fetishists that I can't be bothered with, I mean I'm only in my early 20s, I don't need to be traumatised. But I guess I'm glad I decided to post this thread. Thanks for the contribution. :smiley:
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As I guy though, I feel like the pressure to initiate weighs heavier on us, generally. If / when I do, usually if she doesn't reciprocate right away, I am hurt, and I immediately back off and vow to never even speak to that person again.

I have too many protective measures, but that is who I am. My gut reactions usually kick my defenses into overdrive, though.

But for me to want to initiate, I have to study her for a while. Her habits, what she says. Subtle things about her that may or may not appeal to my prejudices.
 
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It’s nice to have a partner in crime to share your life with. I also think you can have more than one true love. The relationship(s) that follow can be more successful because hopefully you’ve learned from your mistakes and know what you will and won’t tolerate.

@Pin I think you’ll make a great husband and father someday.
 
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