Why do we need relationships? | INFJ Forum

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Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Madgirl143, Feb 10, 2018.

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  1. Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Didn't know where to put this, so ended up here.


    Is it weird that sometimes I don't see the point in being in a relationship other than for sexual reasons? Why do people spend their lives looking for one person when there's about 7 billion people in the world. Why do we shun others and admire others? What is the meaning of having someone to spend the rest of your life with? Don't people get bored or feel claustrophobic when they have to spend everyday with one person? I understand that we need companionship, but we get that from friends and family, so is there any other reason for relationships except sex? Do people think about these things or do they just follow their biological instincts?
     
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  2. Elis

    Elis Community Member

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    No I don't think you're being that weird thinking about that. I'm tired out of my skull right now so can hardly make a point, let alone think it through.

    We're at a point where we aren't as tied down to our biological constructs or however you want to phrase it so I don't think it is that weird that people would want to look past past limits. Which I think is why we have been monogamous or what not. Now what is the right thing to do? Who knows.
     
  3. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Thanks for replying, maybe I should have put it in the philosophy area. It's not about whether there is a right or wrong answer just that I find it a bit concerning sometimes. I wonder why other people get into relationships.
     
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  4. Wyote

    Wyote Humanistic Reductionist
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    Stability.
    It means different things for everyone. It's better for yourself and for others to know whether or not a stable relationship is the thing for you or not, so exploring this topic is pretty important.
     
  5. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    I see, so a lot of people ask these things then, it's a process important in dating and relationships. Sometimes I wonder if the questions I have are common knowledge or not. Growing up as an only child reduces sources of information. I guess that's the reason people get into relationships, to figure out what they want? They don't normally figure out beforehand?
     
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  6. Wyote

    Wyote Humanistic Reductionist
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    Some things yes, some things maybe no
     
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  7. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Some things, yes, like what?
     
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  8. Wyote

    Wyote Humanistic Reductionist
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    That's a question for yourself
     
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  9. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    And some things, no? Is that because people bring a lot stuff in a relationship that help in the process of understanding why you're in that relationship?
     
  10. Wyote

    Wyote Humanistic Reductionist
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  11. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Well you said earlier that some things "yes" and some things "no". You said the first part is for me to find out, so what about the "no" part? Is it something you realise once you're in a relationship?
     
  12. Wyote

    Wyote Humanistic Reductionist
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    I don't know what your specific question is. Some things about relationships you figure out independently and some things you can discover by being in one. The specific things are different for everyone so I can't answer for you.
     
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  13. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Yes, that's what I said you said. Sorry I kinda write the way I speak, I'll try and reduce the fluff. Well thank you, I appreciate it.
     
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  14. Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Phantom Traveler
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    I too am an only child and was content being single, then I got married. I think society pressures us from a young age that you must get married and have kids otherwise you’re a freak. Anyway I’m divorced now so I don’t have any advice to give you other than if you’re fortunate enough to meet a compatible partner who you’re in love with, perhaps you’ll be willing to take a chance and be happy together.
     
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  15. Pin

    Pin Permanent Fixture

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    There's also financial stability and....ugh... emotional support.

    "You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come. "
    -Robert Greene
    Because some people are so useless that they don't deserve admiration.
    Control, a sense of predictability over one's life.
    Definitely, but the path to domination is unfortunately paved with boredom.

    Forming a larger network of family, a tribe that will protect your interests because you're a member.

    They think about these things to a shallow extent, creating justifications for following their biological instincts.
     
    #15 Pin, Feb 11, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
  16. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Wow, thank you. I feel enlightened. You've given me much to think about, it's good advice.
     
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  17. Ryso89

    Ryso89 Community Member

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    The older I get, the more interested I am in meeting someone worthwhile, to build a life with. A best friend, but a partner.

    But often I have the same questions. Beyond the physiological need for intimacy, what's the point? I don't want kids, ideally. I'm more than terrible at surface level communication, so meeting people is extremely hard. Dating apps are miserable. I've had one decent connection, but I'm skeptical of most women's intentions. I can't really trust that anyone is genuine lately.

    If dating is causing me so much stress and anger, why do I put up with it?
     
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  18. OP
    Madgirl143

    Madgirl143 Community Member

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    Tell me about, I'm on the same boat. I decided that I will wait for an old fashioned moment but guys this side of the hemisphere don't approach/initiate often. Dating apps are just full of racist fetishists that I can't be bothered with, I mean I'm only in my early 20s, I don't need to be traumatised. But I guess I'm glad I decided to post this thread. Thanks for the contribution. :smiley:
     
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  19. Ryso89

    Ryso89 Community Member

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    As I guy though, I feel like the pressure to initiate weighs heavier on us, generally. If / when I do, usually if she doesn't reciprocate right away, I am hurt, and I immediately back off and vow to never even speak to that person again.

    I have too many protective measures, but that is who I am. My gut reactions usually kick my defenses into overdrive, though.

    But for me to want to initiate, I have to study her for a while. Her habits, what she says. Subtle things about her that may or may not appeal to my prejudices.
     
    #19 Ryso89, Feb 11, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
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  20. Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Phantom Traveler
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    It’s nice to have a partner in crime to share your life with. I also think you can have more than one true love. The relationship(s) that follow can be more successful because hopefully you’ve learned from your mistakes and know what you will and won’t tolerate.

    @Pin I think you’ll make a great husband and father someday.
     
    #20 Happy Phantom, Feb 11, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2018
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