What Things Really, Deeply Matter To You? Do Your Deep Core Values Change With Time?

just me

just me

Well-known member
MBTI
infj
Do your deep core values and needs change with time? Do they adjust with others? Can you put something down for someone else, only to later find you now need it both physically and emotionally? Do friends help, or does it take more? After all: how far is a friend willing to go to help someone? How far should they go? Is there a boundary we all know to be true, or do emotions change boundaries? Do needs change boundaries?

Chop a few carrots, slice an onion, peel a potato, or just add your seasoning to this stew, please. Let's cook a stew. We can add the meat at the end.
 
Certain things must change in time. People change.

Guess we might need at least one example to get started. How about "affection"? Newlyweds and young people starting a relationship seem to have all they need for each other. Menopause can change the way a woman feels. She may not want to be touched any longer. Maybe that needs to simmer awhile.
 
The best way to change the menopause problem with affection is to change wives every time she reaches that stage. "Till menopause do us part." First night sweat and I'm gone.

Really though, it is an unchanging core belief in love that allows me to whether the storm of change. Everything changes but that.
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
unchanging core belief in love
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Noble thought and core belief. You spoke of it as a storm. What if the storm gets worse and worse while never going away?

I feel a lot of men, and women, change without human touch and relief from stress. Their belief might keep them anchored, but the rope might give way leaving them under-powered and adrift in the ever worsening storm. Ships can sink. The ship might drift while dragging anchor...into the rocks. Serious times, being tossed to and fro in a serious storm. A captain and first mate must work together, but 24/7 and 52/1 can lead to 1/5. Fatigue robs us of our rest. We sleep while the ship is adrift. Electronics are now gone. If she goes down, we must try to save each other. Now we must weather the storm, and one of us might rather give up on fighting any longer.

What does the first mate do when the captain dies?
 
just me said:
Noble thought and core belief. You spoke of it as a storm. What if the storm gets worse and worse while never going away?

I feel a lot of men, and women, change without human touch and relief from stress. Their belief might keep them anchored, but the rope might give way leaving them under-powered and adrift in the ever worsening storm. Ships can sink. The ship might drift while dragging anchor...into the rocks. Serious times, being tossed to and fro in a serious storm. A captain and first mate must work together, but 24/7 and 52/1 can lead to 1/5. Fatigue robs us of our rest. We sleep while the ship is adrift. Electronics are now gone. If she goes down, we must try to save each other. Now we must weather the storm, and one of us might rather give up on fighting any longer.

What does the first mate do when the captain dies?
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There is no storm under the sea.
 
What do they call it then, a Yellow Submarine?
 
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Underwater storm caught by a satellite.
 
Hmm... I guess no where is safe. We'll just have to trust that things will be as they may.
 
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Complete surrender is taking a left because you feel you are supposed to take a left, even when you know you always take a right. Is this a part truth?
 
What is the reason for turning left? If there is intention or expectation it can't be complete surrender can it?
 
Something made me feel like I was supposed to go that way......but I did not.
 
If one "chooses" left because it is somehow better than right, then there is an undercurrent of selfishness and that is not surrender. Surrender is 'so be it.' Yes?
 
You are both correct., but only one understands the situation.
 
just me said:
Do your deep core values and needs change with time? Do they adjust with others? Can you put something down for someone else, only to later find you now need it both physically and emotionally? Do friends help, or does it take more? After all: how far is a friend willing to go to help someone? How far should they go? Is there a boundary we all know to be true, or do emotions change boundaries? Do needs change boundaries?

Chop a few carrots, slice an onion, peel a potato, or just add your seasoning to this stew, please. Let's cook a stew. We can add the meat at the end.
Click to expand...
What things really deeply matter to you?...
What matters is that I can contribute in some way to reducing suffering in the world. For when another being suffers, I suffer too. Not just offering a cradle of warmth and empathy but showing others how to soothe themselves. This extends to animals and life of all forms. Feeling that all life forms have consciousness..
My values have been constant over time. My needs are something else altogether. I read that before he died a client told his therapist that what he always wanted from life was to be deeply known. That the therapist had provided this to him. The therapist was deeply moved by this. Perhaps this client spoke my needs..to be known and to know someone..without words..
 
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