So, I had a crush on this INFJ classmate of mine. I did not manage to reason whether she was into me, so I had to gather further data by asking her out and seeing how it goes.
She said "yes," and gave me her phone number. For a week she hadn't responded to either my call or my text message. After a week she texted me to make an arrangement, and only after I used the word "date" did she say she was not interested in relationship. I was absolutely sure my intentions had been obvious[1], to which she replied they had, but she preferred to ignore it due to "wishful thinking" on her part. I interpreted this passive rejection of mine as insincerity, and fear of upsetting me face to face.
Now half a year had past. My policy has been to treat her as I treat anyone else---no better and no worse. I haven't initiated any form interaction with her, and we haven't spoken in person ever since. Nor have I stared at her, and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen her face in person (while she was taking two classes with me).
A few days ago she started contacting me on Facebook about some project we are both (independently) working on, asking me about some of the most trivial aspects of it, including lots of textbook material. In itself, it seems rather usual of her---she asks other people for help all the time. And yet, I have sound evidence that she was uncomfortable with me in the past, and it now seems like the polar opposite. She has so far sent me dozens of messages, our conversation reaching over 4,000 words, and even proposed that we meet in person so that I could explain some stuff to her.
What on earth is she thinking? Did she change her mind? (Again?)
[1] It went something like this. "Hello. I'll get right into business. I think we have more things in common than statistically likely. So how about we do <specific activity> anytime next week?" If this isn't obvious enough, I made a remark about me preferring to avoid failure, but being willing to make risks when calculated, and gave my interaction with her as an example, then smiling.
She said "yes," and gave me her phone number. For a week she hadn't responded to either my call or my text message. After a week she texted me to make an arrangement, and only after I used the word "date" did she say she was not interested in relationship. I was absolutely sure my intentions had been obvious[1], to which she replied they had, but she preferred to ignore it due to "wishful thinking" on her part. I interpreted this passive rejection of mine as insincerity, and fear of upsetting me face to face.
Now half a year had past. My policy has been to treat her as I treat anyone else---no better and no worse. I haven't initiated any form interaction with her, and we haven't spoken in person ever since. Nor have I stared at her, and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen her face in person (while she was taking two classes with me).
A few days ago she started contacting me on Facebook about some project we are both (independently) working on, asking me about some of the most trivial aspects of it, including lots of textbook material. In itself, it seems rather usual of her---she asks other people for help all the time. And yet, I have sound evidence that she was uncomfortable with me in the past, and it now seems like the polar opposite. She has so far sent me dozens of messages, our conversation reaching over 4,000 words, and even proposed that we meet in person so that I could explain some stuff to her.
What on earth is she thinking? Did she change her mind? (Again?)
[1] It went something like this. "Hello. I'll get right into business. I think we have more things in common than statistically likely. So how about we do <specific activity> anytime next week?" If this isn't obvious enough, I made a remark about me preferring to avoid failure, but being willing to make risks when calculated, and gave my interaction with her as an example, then smiling.
Last edited:
