unwanted or unitention relationships

I've thought about a couple of time in my recent past when people have sought out relationships where none were wanted(at least on my part).

And in every occurence (three times recently), It was somone who was genraly i'll treated, the first case was a couple of years ago.



A new girl had started attending the church youth group, not to be mean but she wasn't overtly attractive, and she was a bit awkward. Most of the people in the youth group kinda shunned her, not out and out making fun of her. But they didn't make her feel welcome. So when she decided to talk to me, I simply held polite conversation, not taking a strong opinion of her or her past and present, simply put I acted pleasently. Over the course of the next couple of weeks or so and she seemed to mistake my politeness for affection, and so she tried to return affection, which led to a lock down, and a almost stalker like relationship.

later on a simaler situation rose up among another new female in the youth group who was several years younger then me. Like the last time other people in the youth group treated her in a less then appealing fashion, I simply listened to he politley and refused to make judgments based on her enviroment. Later on one of the girls in the youth group mentioned to me that she thought that this new girl had a crush on me, this lead to another lock down.

Even more recently, after starting school at FCC, I Found yet another female whom was, I wouldn't say mistreated but instead avoided as she had at times what could be called less then comfortable nature. And to some extent mostly in class even i took up annoyance with how she acted at the college level academic proffesionality.

So as with other situations, I listened politley when she talked and helped her with her school since she seemed to be having trouble. Though I don't know of this was justifiable or not I felt like this relationship was going in a less then desirable direction(simaler to the others), and so lockdown.

Sorry for the dump, you really don't have to share experiences if you have them, i simply want to know if anybody else has situaions like this pop up, it's become far to common for me.

So once again feelings of INFJ lonliness, am I alone.

 

thanks, just glad some one else gets it.

I wonder if anyone can give me some tips on how to avoid this in the future?