Underestimation conundrum | INFJ Forum

Underestimation conundrum


Jun 1, 2009
Does anyone else ever feel as if as an INFJ, you're either underestimated because of the Fe preference, or seen as cold or prickly because of the Ni function?
I feel both. I show people my feeling side and goof-ball nature and they cease taking me seriously. I show them I can spar in a debate or do not allow myself to be walked all over and they think I am cold.
Why can't they see me as just me? I have all of these facets, they're all part of me. I feel like I have to be "on" especially in the company of NT's, but even if I'm the winning conversationalist they seem to gravitate towards the "mousey" type of person. What is the deal here?
Yes, and the more I have thought about this the more it has made me feel like I sort of have a split personality. Normally I'm all Ni and appear distant. I am often asked "are you ok?" "what's wrong?" when I am simply in my own mind. Then a portion of my life is Fe. When I find something interesting or get into a good conversation I flail my arms around and am over excitable which is probably interpreted as childish.

But whatever, I'm versitale. I'm a chameleon, a trickster of sorts, and proud of it.
i find this daunting as well.

i seem to have an off and on switch for expressing my Fe, even though it is always present inside, whether or not it can be perceived outwardly.

usually, others seem to see me as aloof, timid, or serious and those who do not know me may find it hard to approach me.

however, there are many times where i find it natural and even necessary to openly express my Fe. during these times i may suddenly appear warm, extremely expressive, and openly engaging. it may come as somewhat of a shock even for myself.

i can be loud, excitable, and gregarious around people i am close to, with my appearance likening to that of an excitable child on caffeine. other times when i'm around people i am not too close with, i may light up like this when an idea peaks my interest or when someone mentions or does something that truly engages me.

i have many facets to my personality, just like everyone else. i do realize though that some of these facets often surprise not only others, but even myself.