Truly listening is love in action | INFJ Forum

Truly listening is love in action

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by La Sagna, Sep 21, 2015.

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  1. La Sagna

    La Sagna Trying to become a butterfly

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    This is a very good article. So true. This is how you love someone. Never feeling heard is one of the most soul crushing experiences you can have.

     
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  2. Newguy512

    Newguy512 Newbie

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    Ok, first things first [MENTION=9809]La Sagna[/MENTION] please do not receive this as a critique or otherwise dismissal of your thoughts or experience. Lol. Further disclaimer, perhaps I simply did not understand this at all. But I cannot agree with this and am grasping for anyway to comprehend this. Before I enter fully into my tirade, has anyone witnessed how simply listening to another with appropriately placed "hmms" has made another person feel like they were heard and understood?

    I personally feel ignored and disregarded when I share a problem with someone and they only listen. This sounds like a perfect contradiction to me: describing non-action as profound action. For me, I feel understood when my concerns are addressed directly. I have much more to say, but I would like to see what others think as well.
     
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    La Sagna

    La Sagna Trying to become a butterfly

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    The key is if the person is truly listening. What you are describing is being listened. If someone is addressing your concerns appropriately then they have to be listening to what you are saying. The problem is that in most conversations people aren't really listening in a non-judgemental and open way. They are either not hearing what you are actually saying but their own version of it, or already formulating their defence, or formulating how they're going to fix you. Those things are very dismissive and demeaning. If the person can validate you by addressing what you are saying then that is great, but it starts with proper listening. Sometimes though there is nothing appropriate to say and a person just needs to be heard.
     
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