To be wanted. . .

[Gaze]

I'm interested in personal impressions or descriptions of the need or desire to be wanted.

What does it mean to be wanted by someone? How would you describe this?

How does it affect you and your relationships?

What are the pros and cons of feelings this way?

 

[Trifoilum]

That FINALLY, you have a meaning that's useful. One that you can give.

How does it affect me..I think it would push me to work for my best. It's also the pro.

And the con would be that I'm, for better or worse, surrendering my meaning of life -- and my life by itself -- to someone else. What will happen once it's gone? Once it's rejected? Once it's thrown away?

 

[Odyne]

I am both attracted to and distrustful of that feeling.

Within the context of a relationship, it's amazing to feel and know that you're wanted and desired (sometimes it's even a turn on) and it's usually reciprocated to my partner. Otherwise, I am skeptical of it, especially if it's sudden and out of the blue.

 

[894tt3h9]

I'm interested in personal impressions or descriptions of the need or desire to be wanted.

What does it mean to be wanted by someone? How would you describe this?
Well, if they just want you physically then it's just plain old sexual attraction. Otherwise, I suppose what it means is that someone has taken special interest in getting to know you. They want to know who you are, what you feel, what you think. They want to get to know you on a deeper level.


How does it affect you and your relationships?
It doesn't affect me at all unless I want them as well. If someone wants me who I don't have that kind of interest in then that's just fine. I don't let it have any impact on the friendship because I don't really lose anything by not wanting them back. However if they start getting frustrated by my lack of special interest in them then there can be a lot of problems- jealousy, manipulation, guilt, etc. People don't seem to handle these things well when the interest is not reciprocated. Unfortunately I've had to end friendships because of this.

What are the pros and cons of feelings this way?
I don't know that there are any true cons in regards to being wanted with the exception of those cases where the person who wants you simply cannot accept that you don't want them back. That can really destroy an otherwise good friendship and I've seen it happen both with myself and with other people.

The pros of being wanted usually come in when you also want the person who wants you. Then it can be both a comfort and an excitement. When there's a mutual interest there's more to explore in a sense. There's a certain level of vulnerability that has to come along with that if you want things to progress and some might see that as a con because of the level of discomfort one might feel when they expose their soul to another person, but at the same time it can be empowering and freeing knowing that the person you're showing it to wants to see it, wants to take it on, and is truly and genuinely interested in all the parts of you that you'd previously kept hidden from others.

In other words, it's excellent.