The X Stages Of Relationships | INFJ Forum

The X Stages Of Relationships

Reon

Midnight's Garden
Nov 1, 2008
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http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Stages-of-Committed-Relationships&id=528343

So, I assume everyone has seen at least one variation of an article like this. Some individuals decides that every relationship has particular themes that people follow in certain instances and makes a game plan for people to expect and avoid pit falls. I'm entirely to tired to elucidate more so my question is this: What do you all think of these various stepped stages? Do you think they are somewhat helpful? Prone to making the same assumptions that ruin relationships in their very conjectures? Or completely irrelevant
 
This is how I like it in relationships:

1. Disillusionment Stage
2. Power Struggle
3. Stability + Romance






4. Commitment Stage




I will elaborate a little further later, but usually I know a relationship is working out if my partner and I manage to get to the Stability Stage.
 
The romantic stage is curious because not all couples are "romantic" or have a long romantic stage. Many couples move into stability or normalcy very quickly, and don't have or ever have a romantic stage. My question would be "do you need a romantic" stage for a relationship to progress? The romantic stage the way it is described in the article seems to suggest a period of blindness to faults or flaws or a sense of idealism about the relationship. But what if your relationship doesn't have that? What if there is no power struggle and just acceptance and stability? Does it mean the relationship is not a real one if it doesn't go through those stages? In other words, can you have stability and committment without romance or power struggle? Depends on the couple, doesn't it?
 
Not mine.

Mine.
 
thats bullshit, the last stage of the relationship should be called "having a child by mistake" and thats why people with crappy relationships get married.
 
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This is how I like it in relationships:

1. Disillusionment Stage
2. Power Struggle
3. Stability + Romance






4. Commitment Stage




I will elaborate a little further later, but usually I know a relationship is working out if my partner and I manage to get to the Stability Stage.

Interest piqued. Sub-a-dub-dub.
 
Now that I have some sleep on my side, I can explain why I disagree with most models about relationship stage at least in regards to me (and I think a few people like me exist, no doubt.

Romance stage:
I find that most people who are successful in relationship did not think that the person that's with them have no flaws. The whole dating phase is to figure out if that person has flaw which would take up the first few weeks or months.
I find that any truthful relationship would be best on honesty, not best behavior.
I don't try to please the other person, I try to be myself and if they like that? Awesome. If not? We aren't meant to be
I don't see conflict as bad. I don't avoid it. Relationships don't stay alive because of the good times, it's how you handle the bad that counts.

Disillusionment stage:
I find it bothersome that this stage exists, for some reason. I never idolized my partner so much that I didn't know who they were.

Power Struggle stage:
Assuming that since the Romance stage can be anywhere from 2 months to 2 years, I'm going to place this at about 1 year. How can anyone at this point still think conflict is bad? That seems ridiculous. If you don't trust your partner by this point to be able to talk to you then you're in a relationship with no trust anyway.
Every relationship should have boundaries. Everyone needs privacy and alone (and away) time.


I'll get to the rest of the stages later.