The Intuition part | INFJ Forum

The Intuition part

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by blueflame, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    I sometimes get extremely frustrated because I can tell when something isn't right about a person or situation and it seems obvious, but you kind of get written off as a skeptic or "negative thinker" no one else sees it. Then, even upon discovering you were right, people still either don't give me credit or they try and validate that persons fault as if "it really isn't what it seems" this outright blissfully oblivious attitude is why I don't care to give advice. Does anyone else have this problem? Or am I stressing myself out?



    Also to add to this, sort of a sub-topic I guess, I don't feel being in love is an excuse for this behavior anyone else?
     
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    #1 blueflame, Dec 29, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2008
  2. ZenCat

    ZenCat Waving Sage

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    I think there's some underlying stuff making your question feel more powerful to you than it might to the casual reader (i.e. the "being in love" sub-topic).

    I don't really feel resentful if I outwardly express my intuition and either have it dismissed or if it isn't openly acknowledged as being valid. If it's a situation and I'm in a group (i.e. I don't like the feel of this club or party, let's leave and go somewhere else) and it's dismissed, I'll weigh whether the feeling is strong enough for me to act on independently (split with the group) or deal with it and continue on.

    Perhaps the key might be to begin thinking of your intuition as a personal voice rather than a public alarm system, and phrasing your cautions in a more personal way like "I don't feel comfortable doing such and such" rather than "Don't do such and such, it's dangerous (or something will go wrong, or whatever)."

    Hope my reply was on target for your situation :)
     
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  3. OP
    blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    It's actually my fault for not being more specific but I was talk more as an observer not a participant. For example, if your friend is dating someone that is not dating your friend for the right reason(s), not caring about your friend's best interest, etc. you pick up on it but everyone else seems to love this person and not see the obvious subtle manipulations, egotism etc. like breaking up with that person but hooking back up with them once they see your friend is doing fine and not broken up about it. I think it is because that person was only dating my friend as a way to reassure themselves they could date someone with the "desirable yet unattainable" condition and all these wonderful qualities that they themselves seem to lack. The person dating my friend has done this in past relationships as well.

    To sum it up more clearly: I percieve that this person was dating my friend to build up their own self esteem and social status.
     
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    #3 blueflame, Dec 29, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2008
  4. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    It is a very tricky thing but I'm with Zen on thinking it's more of a personal voice. For the longest time I felt a heavy responsibility to voice what I 'knew' and time and time again it would land me into hot water.
    Now I bite my tongue more often and just let people learn things on their own through experience. If my intuition is ringing danger bells or fear is strong I act on it no matter what the consequence.
    The main problem I have with all of this holding in things is that it seems to fester beneath the surface and then once in a while I blow my top.
    A non verbal release of all this stuff should be an ongoing thing with us or the weight of it all makes us sick.
    Lurker was right when she reminded me that writing is an excellent release. Even if you can't say what you want to you can at least write it out.
     
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  5. OP
    blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    Thanks guys!
     
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  6. Final

    Final Regular Poster

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    Also, it's not about what you say, but how you say it. For instance, I could tell my dad flat out that he's wrong and then start trying to correct him, which would piss him off. ...or I could calmly point out his error and explain to him why it's an error and what I think should happen.

    So, I think if you said it in a nice, endearing way, then they would listen. Personally, I'd sit down with whomever in private and say, "Hey, when I talk with him, I feel like this, and this feeling comes from his incessant double dipping."

    However, if you have done that, and they continue to not listen...well...um...
     
  7. OP
    blueflame

    blueflame Regular Poster

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    slayer!
     
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  8. Final

    Final Regular Poster

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    haha...I'm still trying to find a better avatar
     
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