sponge!?!?!?! | INFJ Forum

sponge!?!?!?!

soulseeker

Permanent Fixture
Dec 19, 2008
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hello :)

it was Ash wednesday here yesterday and since it's the start of the Lenten Season, we have our confessions

we had it in school and it's per class

so.. a while ago, we I had my confession and.... I didn't like the set up (really!!!) at first... because we were all sitting side by side and I didn't feel like... meditating and praying because I need a quiet spot

but then we were asked to sit on different pews (4 each pew) so it was okay for me

then..... I JUST KNEW I WOULD CRY.... I can really really really feel my own feelings plus the feelings of my classmates... i really felt it like whoa! and some of them cried when they were talking to the priest and I can't help but cry...the emotions were just too many..... it's all over the place... and it's both overwhelming and comfortable

I felt a release of a lot of emotions... and when it's my turn to confess, oh my!!!! I almost didn't say anything AGAIN (like last year)........ I cried....... :( :(


I cried while waiting for my turn, I cried while confessing and I cried after.... I know most of them are my emotions... but I also know that there were times when I cried for other people

and... my friend... (<---who understands me.. *shocking*) told me that .. she's having a hard time breathing... and she told me "I don't know if it's you"
while I was crying.. inside at first....

then... I noticed that she had a harder time breathing....... then I just cried.......then she can barely breathe.....
then she told me..." you know.. I think it's you, you take up the emotions of other people and I take your emotions"

she said that she rarely feels that... that overwhelming emotion that makes her have a hard time breathing and she told me that she just feels it with people she's close with (isn't she suppose to feel it with anyone?)



did you ever experience this!?!??! both the crying for other people...
(oh my it's just too much... I felt almost everyone that moment.... it's like.... I don't even know why I'm crying.....I know for one part that I am crying because I am jsut really really really sorry for being such a sinful human being and for being selfish sometimes and because of my family... but most part of it, I KNOW it's not me... it's them)

and the can't breathe part? <----I didn't think there were people like that



:( :( and I felt really ashamed ....... maybe most of them thought that I overreacted ....... it's just... I don't know...I'm shy... I'm shy to see the priest again :( :( :( :(
 
Hey sweetie, I don't necessarily do the crying for other people thing very often -- only sometimes -- but I do the not being able to breathe thing a lot. That's totally me. It usually means I just have to get away for a while. Don't know what to tell you other than it just goes with the territory... Funerals are one example where I can be rather spongelike, and they are awful because you feel like an utter hypocrite if you don't know the deceased well but are just bawling your eyes out on behalf of the survivors. *hugs* You're not overreacting, it's just the way you are. It's okay!
 
You poor sweet dear. I can completely relate to this. I mean, I'm 27 years old, and I'm just now learning how to control my own empathy.. and let me tell you I'm not doing that great a job of it.
Everyone has always thought I was just sensitive, and whenever I did actually find the words to explain they either thought I must be lying, or they would say I had a special gift.
Honestly, I do believe that this kind of empathy for others is a gift usually but that doesn't make it any less overwhelming, especially in these kinds of situations.
All I can say is please take care of yourself my sweet Soulseeker. Do your best to step back from these kinds of situations even if it's only in your mind, in order to try to separate your emotions from theirs. I KNOW how hard that is. But if you really want to help or care for anyone, then it's best to know how you feel about how others are feeling and not just feeling for them through their own feelings. I hope that makes some sort of sense to you.. and I wish I had had somebody tell me this.
Remember that you especially NEED time to yourself. I know it can be lonely, and when you find someone that reciprocates your feelings, that likes you and wants to be around you and is happy a lot, that feels great, and since we don't get to feel those kinds of emotions coming from other people we can often cling to the people who feel good that way.

Remember to separate yourself. Take the time to figure out who you are, what you like, what you want, and don't let go of who you are, and get lost in someone else's dreams or emotions for you.

As for your friend. I'm glad you have a friend like that, and the difference appears to be that she may be more used to dealing with the empathy then you are. She seems to have it a little more in tune to only people she's really close to where you seem to be extremely open. I very much know what that's like, and I can't stress telling you enough to try to find the separation. I know you mentioned somewhere you have a friend who meditates, you may want to ask him more about it, and if you EVER feel like venting about ANYTHING.. please feel free to PM me.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
 
Aww sis. I'm like that too. At work the other day I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to cry. I mean I didn't cry. I hardly ever cry, but I was on the edge of tears for about an hour, and it was affecting my work. The thing is, it wasn't coming from me - I had no reason to feel that sad. I'm still trying to work out which of my soul friends was so upset - or whether it was someone in the same room, - I'm not sure I'll ever know. It's just that, empathy, runs so deep, and I'm a 100% Feeling person, so I'll catch waves of feelings from people: sometimes happy, sometimes sad, and I truly hate to be around angry people. It is a blessing though, to feel so deeply for and on behalf of other people. It helps us to understand them - to walk a mile in their shoes, and I believe, carry some of the burden for them, for a while.

:hug:Hug for you.
 
When you feel their pain, do you know what the cause is ?
Can you read their life's story?
 
Hey sweetie, I don't necessarily do the crying for other people thing very often -- only sometimes -- but I do the not being able to breathe thing a lot. That's totally me. It usually means I just have to get away for a while. Don't know what to tell you other than it just goes with the territory... Funerals are one example where I can be rather spongelike, and they are awful because you feel like an utter hypocrite if you don't know the deceased well but are just bawling your eyes out on behalf of the survivors. *hugs* You're not overreacting, it's just the way you are. It's okay!

thank you :) :) :hug: :hug: yeah I think I have to try getting away too... or learning to control it..... oh my
:hug:


You poor sweet dear. I can completely relate to this. I mean, I'm 27 years old, and I'm just now learning how to control my own empathy.. and let me tell you I'm not doing that great a job of it.
Everyone has always thought I was just sensitive, and whenever I did actually find the words to explain they either thought I must be lying, or they would say I had a special gift.
Honestly, I do believe that this kind of empathy for others is a gift usually but that doesn't make it any less overwhelming, especially in these kinds of situations.
All I can say is please take care of yourself my sweet Soulseeker. Do your best to step back from these kinds of situations even if it's only in your mind, in order to try to separate your emotions from theirs. I KNOW how hard that is. But if you really want to help or care for anyone, then it's best to know how you feel about how others are feeling and not just feeling for them through their own feelings. I hope that makes some sort of sense to you.. and I wish I had had somebody tell me this.
Remember that you especially NEED time to yourself. I know it can be lonely, and when you find someone that reciprocates your feelings, that likes you and wants to be around you and is happy a lot, that feels great, and since we don't get to feel those kinds of emotions coming from other people we can often cling to the people who feel good that way.

Remember to separate yourself. Take the time to figure out who you are, what you like, what you want, and don't let go of who you are, and get lost in someone else's dreams or emotions for you.

As for your friend. I'm glad you have a friend like that, and the difference appears to be that she may be more used to dealing with the empathy then you are. She seems to have it a little more in tune to only people she's really close to where you seem to be extremely open. I very much know what that's like, and I can't stress telling you enough to try to find the separation. I know you mentioned somewhere you have a friend who meditates, you may want to ask him more about it, and if you EVER feel like venting about ANYTHING.. please feel free to PM me.
:hug: :hug: :hug:


thank you for telling me the one you wished someone told you before... yes I understand that

I would really want to control my empathy too...... oh yeah!!! that friend of mine who kind of like meditates and does... I don't know what he does he does tarot reading and he plays with energy... I actually asked him to teach me how to control my empathy but....there are too many things to do :( :( I have to study the element of my astrological sign and do things

I would want to learn it naturally though :) :) :)

yeah I KNOW THAT TOO!!!!! :) :) :) the finding people who are happy.... I THINK i found some...I hope we remain friends... :) :) because it feels so good when other people are happy... it's like.. I'm happy they're happy :) :)

but yeah you're all right... sometimes, I get lost....I get disconnected.... when everyone's mad... I become mad and mean and I feel bad... and when everyone's happy.. I am happy too... sometimes I don't know what I REALLY FEEL....... I have to find myself and who I really am :)

thank you very very very much for offering your time to me :) :) :hug::hug:



Aww sis. I'm like that too. At work the other day I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to cry. I mean I didn't cry. I hardly ever cry, but I was on the edge of tears for about an hour, and it was affecting my work. The thing is, it wasn't coming from me - I had no reason to feel that sad. I'm still trying to work out which of my soul friends was so upset - or whether it was someone in the same room, - I'm not sure I'll ever know. It's just that, empathy, runs so deep, and I'm a 100% Feeling person, so I'll catch waves of feelings from people: sometimes happy, sometimes sad, and I truly hate to be around angry people. It is a blessing though, to feel so deeply for and on behalf of other people. It helps us to understand them - to walk a mile in their shoes, and I believe, carry some of the burden for them, for a while.

:hug:Hug for you.

me too!!!!!!!! but. I think that the feeling that I felt was way too too too much overwhelming.. because WE WERE IN A CHURCH, it's a place that I want because we are able to meditate.. and pray in silence.. the atmosphere is very suitable and so, I kind of clearly feel their emotions

plus... I kind of develop this love for my class.... they kept me going through the year, they helped me become NOT SUICIDAL... they made me feel loved....... and maybe because of that, I can feel them more.. and it really hurts me a lot lot lot when I felt that they were hurt,, when they were confessing their sins

I hate being around angry people too... it's like...... I become a negative person at that moment and it makes me sooo confuse

thanks brother :) :) :) :) :hug::hug:




When you feel their pain, do you know what the cause is ?
Can you read their life's story?

actually no ... it will hurt me more if I knew... and fortunately, I can not read anyone's life story :) :)


I just... FEEL a lot of things.... especially extreme emotions... so when someone is hurting... I feel much much hurt than she is (most of the time)... and when someone is really really really happy, it's like i'm on drugs because I become super hyper






*** oh and I just knew a while ago, that the friend of mine who had difficulty breathing, knows how to read auras.... :)


thank you all :) :) :hug::hug::hug: