Flamethrower
Regular Poster
- MBTI
- INTJ
Just wondering how you guys perceive INTJs and how you would know when you meet someone that they were INTJ and not INFJ.
INTJs are probably more confident in public and much more cynical of the people in their surroundings. I hesitate to say arrogant because I realize that's become somewhat of a stereotype.. but they don't make the best first impressions usually, because they don't care what you think about them.. Wheras infjs are a bit more accomodating, yet still cool and reserved. Maybe?
I just figure TJs will be more outgoing and exude confidence, while us FJs generally are a bit more unsure of ourselves.
Actually we INTJs are not all that sure of ourselves either! We just don't want anyone to see that we have any insecurities in case we don't look competent!
Right, slant. That's exactly the typical intj response I get.
For example, if they do something that offends you or irritates you or whathave you, they have a hard time understanding how what they did affected you if you explain to them how it made you feel. Seems they have a problem with subjectivity and limited empathetic skills. But doesn't mean that applies to all of them, just those I've encountered. Still, I love them dearly and they're probably the most interesting mbti type to me. In a way, I'm magnatized to them more than any other type in the theory.
Haha, you know. You're right. They are more interested in solving the problem than understanding how a person was affected. Whereas I'm the other way around-- understand the effect of the action, then solve it...The reason for that, I would assume, isn't because they don't understand how they affected you; it's that they don't understand how to solve the problem. I may not be an INTJ but my mode of thinking when someone brings up a problem is: how do I solve this? When someone brings up feelings as a problem I feel inclined to state: They are your feelings, control them. I know that it may sound harsh, but how am I supposed to fix someone else's feelings when I have no control over them? The best I can do is to ask what actions of my has caused those feelings and to avoid them, or to state that they need to figure out a way to make themselves feel differently when these actions occur because I am not responsible for their emotional wellbeing. Which response I use depends on the situation.
INTJs don't validate feelings unless they can make logical sense of them. They seem to dismiss emotions of themselves and others more when the emotions aren't practical.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I'm not having this argument/ conversation because it's not based on anything reasonable." I've literally heard, "When there's something real to argue/ discuss, then I'll discuss it."
In a way, I'm magnatized to them (INTJs) more than any other type in the theory.
Also we INTJs feel odd about airing our emotions in public and hate talking about how we feel so this fuels this sort of thing even more because we don't like feeling vulnerable. Is that true for INFJs too or are you guys more comfortable with expressing how you feel about things to others? I find that F types can misunderstand my reluctance to talk about how I feel as some sort of hurtful thing to them.
I've found that a lot of people asking me questions about how I 'feel' about a situation are frustrated when I don't respond the way they expect me to; that's just not at the top of my priorities at the moment. In fact I'm often even felt void of having any feelings at all in certain situations.
I think that most F types, espcially INFJ, have this deep desire to connect with someone else socially
I have a friend who is INTJ, who I met on another forum. He approached me first in a PM saying how much he liked my post. I was very surprised. He is fierce and unapologetic and very, very smart! Didnt have a clue he was even aware of me. He kept up the conversation and later told me [when I asked what he saw in me] that he "liked" me. He wanted to "inter-act" with me.
I am liking him very much, but i am unsure as how to proceed.
I have read much on INTJ, and I feel there is a big similarity between us.
I like that he is truthful and gives me NO drama.
But my emotions seem to "bounce off" him.
I can make him laugh. He pm's me several times a day.
He's kind and patient with me.
He's offered the Eagles song "One of These Nights" to me and I think of it as our song.
I have NO idea where this whole non-relationship is going.
He wont even tell me what color his eyes are!!
All advice welcome.
Thank you.
Your insights are like nuggets of gold!
I am very grateful.![]()
For me this is like getting it from the horses mouth.