So, how do you get to know someone? | INFJ Forum

So, how do you get to know someone?

Gaze

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It strikes me that things have probably changed so much in the last 20 years in terms of how we get to know people.

How do you think things have changed, whether better or the worse, in how we get to know people and how much we know about them?

For one, concerns about safety, privacy, and security have definitely made us more cautious and guarded.
 
Sorry Res. before 20 yrs ago i was zero in my mother's tummy. :D

OK. According to last five years i will try to say. Excuse me though.

Usually i try to talk with my people means family and friends. With whom i can feel safe and trust. First try to talk with them. Talk about work and little bit about relatives. How we met and what are you doing? how things treat you? This are basics and with basics at least i can get some feelings. then i think to go ahead. If this is good then i can know more about them.
 
I don't think people DO get to know each other anymore.

I think in the physical world, most people limit themselves to their immediate family, people they want to date, and just maybe their schoolmates or co-workers. In a good neighborhood, they MIGHT know their neighbors, but even that's not a given. Aside from that, people are pretty much closed off and uninterested in getting to know you.

On the Internet, however, people are much more open because there's less risk. You can meet people who have similar interests fairly easily, and discuss these things at length.

If you're both fairly daring people, you might even meet your Internet associates in real life and become good friends. But most people have one group of friends in real life whom they don't choose or like that much, yet whom they trust. They also have another group of friends online who they have a lot in common with, yet can't really trust, and thus have no way of actually connecting with them.

In the past, when there was no Internet, people were a little more willing to create groups that met in real-life for various interests, though it was riskier. Now, that's pretty rare because websites are easier to set up than physical meeting places.

The funny thing is, this essentially means that the majority of groups who live in a society these days are disconnected from each other, and have little in common aside from wanting to engage in commerce and rely on mutually-funded defense.
 
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I agreed that the specifics are somewhat changed, but isn't the basic and the essential are still the same?

Listen, observe, treat, be kind, understand, misunderstand, get new knowledge, see new sides, understand their thoughts, their beliefs, their pain, their hopes, their like and dislike, respect, be gentle, be thoughtful, be tactful, hope for their best.....

uuuh..... I missed the question; but my point is still the same, it may have some specifics changed, but the essential are still the same.

Sometimes, the cynical part of me wondered if social lives are actually changed for the worse, or that it's just a sense of longing, of nostalgia, of the supposedly better times... or maybe the Internet and everything just shed people's masks moreso... But that's more OOT than the topic, isn't it?
 
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It strikes me that things have probably changed so much in the last 20 years in terms of how we get to know people.

How do you think things have changed, whether better or the worse, in how we get to know people and how much we know about them?

For one, concerns about safety, privacy, and security have definitely made us more cautious and guarded.

When I was a wee little thing people had much better manners and heaps of courtesy to spare. This was always a great leveling platform that helped people of diverse temperaments to get to know each other... and show respect to each other.

However, since the early 90's it seems as though good manners have been distinctly out of fashion.
 
Well, for one thing, we've changed the way we spend and use our time. I don't need to quote statistics to underscore the observable trend in the time the average person spends in front of a screen (be it a computer, television or hand-held consul). It has had an enormous impact on the way we go about our daily lives and it's also impacted the way we communicate. Why bother walking to the next cubicle to outline project details in person when you can just fire off an email? Why go out and see your friend for a few drinks when you can exchange a few Facebook messages that fulfill a new standard of the 'we're still keeping in touch' quota. We're so immersed in our lighted screens, it isn't at all surprising to see an entire crowd of people walking down the street and looking down at the blackberry or i-touch in their palms instead of exchanging polite smiles with a stranger, or engaging in small talk that might evolve into a more enlightening, personable conversation.

We've become a strange breed of introverted-extroverts. We're connected with the outside world, but it's a very shallow, brittle connection that is just sturdy enough to trick us into thinking we're still in touch.

I think we still get to know people the same way we did before, but we're less accessible than we were in the past.
 
unscrew the bolts attached to their head and take a look at the gooey mass inside :p
 
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