Ok, I am aware that Si is supposed to be the least developped function of the INFJ. And I believe mine is pretty poor : I am messy as hell, often late, forgetful, etc.
Yet I am aslo terribly nostalgic. I often linger in the past, and I think it generally (though there are exceptions) isn't that good for me. I remember the first time I read about MBTI and the idealists thinking "future orientated? It's true but I'm at least as much past orientated". Actually I seem to be able to live in everything but the present, and I often get trapped in my own mind. I think part of it is a "grass is always greener" problem. I mainly reminisce to get away from the dull present. When my life seems too empty. It's also linked to my greatest fear : time (and hand in hand, death). I just have the hardest time accepting the fact that things and people change and thus disappear from the present.
I am aware the past I know is often distorted. I sublimate the good memories. Not counsciously, obviously. I read about the fact INFJs have a somewhat fuzzy vision of the past, and I think it's true in my case. I do not remember things exactly as they were, but the way I experienced them, the inner me of that moment. I have bribes of images, of impressions.
This afternoon I stumbled upon a video tape my teacher had done of our last year of primary school (97-98). I couldn't resist watching the three hours of it. Afterwards I felt utterly alone. My problem is basically that I've been having an utter need for a group in which I would feel like I belong lately, and it was the case at the time. That year was a great year overall. Yet I know I am much more in control of my life now, more at ease with myself, going towards what I want to do, etc.
I'm getting out of the two hardest years of my life so far, I had relatively calm teenage years but the moment I realized I was becoming an adult I just got scared to death. Had some depressive months, digged into my early childhood to understand, had a very hard time swallowing it. I didn't reminisce or anything during those two years, but now that I think I'm getting out of it I have a tremendous hunger for living, a living I cannot seem to be able to quite find yet, and so the only thing I have to fill up the gap right now is the past (ok, I have other things but not enough). Yet all is does is to make me nostalgic.
Do you guys have any idea about how I could deal with this unhealthy habbit? I'm pretty sure I will have problems with it all my life but... I'm also sure I can work on myself to a certain extent.
What functions do you think combine to give me that odd mix? Is it something completely independant from my infjness? I see it as a form of idealism too though... What's that thing about the past being "mystical" to idealists?
I'm sorry if this is too self-orientated... But any opinions, experiences or enlightment would be welcome...
Yet I am aslo terribly nostalgic. I often linger in the past, and I think it generally (though there are exceptions) isn't that good for me. I remember the first time I read about MBTI and the idealists thinking "future orientated? It's true but I'm at least as much past orientated". Actually I seem to be able to live in everything but the present, and I often get trapped in my own mind. I think part of it is a "grass is always greener" problem. I mainly reminisce to get away from the dull present. When my life seems too empty. It's also linked to my greatest fear : time (and hand in hand, death). I just have the hardest time accepting the fact that things and people change and thus disappear from the present.
I am aware the past I know is often distorted. I sublimate the good memories. Not counsciously, obviously. I read about the fact INFJs have a somewhat fuzzy vision of the past, and I think it's true in my case. I do not remember things exactly as they were, but the way I experienced them, the inner me of that moment. I have bribes of images, of impressions.
This afternoon I stumbled upon a video tape my teacher had done of our last year of primary school (97-98). I couldn't resist watching the three hours of it. Afterwards I felt utterly alone. My problem is basically that I've been having an utter need for a group in which I would feel like I belong lately, and it was the case at the time. That year was a great year overall. Yet I know I am much more in control of my life now, more at ease with myself, going towards what I want to do, etc.
I'm getting out of the two hardest years of my life so far, I had relatively calm teenage years but the moment I realized I was becoming an adult I just got scared to death. Had some depressive months, digged into my early childhood to understand, had a very hard time swallowing it. I didn't reminisce or anything during those two years, but now that I think I'm getting out of it I have a tremendous hunger for living, a living I cannot seem to be able to quite find yet, and so the only thing I have to fill up the gap right now is the past (ok, I have other things but not enough). Yet all is does is to make me nostalgic.
Do you guys have any idea about how I could deal with this unhealthy habbit? I'm pretty sure I will have problems with it all my life but... I'm also sure I can work on myself to a certain extent.
What functions do you think combine to give me that odd mix? Is it something completely independant from my infjness? I see it as a form of idealism too though... What's that thing about the past being "mystical" to idealists?
I'm sorry if this is too self-orientated... But any opinions, experiences or enlightment would be welcome...