Sexual Attitudes Test | INFJ Forum

Sexual Attitudes Test

aeon

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Sexual Attitudes Test – IDR Labs

immediate results, no email required

Cheers,
Ian

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The 4 Facets:

Permissiveness covers a person’s attitude towards atypical sex practices, extensive premarital sexual experience, and infidelity. Higher scores indicate a welcoming attitude toward these practices, while lower scores indicate a more reserved stance. People high in permissiveness are likely to have had more sexual relationships than average; to have engaged in a wider variety of sexual practices; and to believe that love isn’t necessarily a prerequisite for sex.

Responsibility denotes a person’s propensity to engage in sexually responsible behavior. People who score high on responsibility tend to be strong believers in the importance of intimate verbal communication with their partners; to ensure that consent for various sexual practices is properly obtained; and to believe in the importance of sharing responsibility for birth control.

Communion refers to a person’s longing to “fuse together” with their romantic partner. People who score high on communion tend to see emotional and idealistic elements in sex that are not shared by people who score lower on communion. People high in communion tend to place as much of a premium on sex as a means of bringing them closer to their partner as they do on the actual pleasure itself. A subset of the people who are very high in communion also believe that love is a necessary prerequisite for sex.

Instrumentality reflects a person’s tendency to see sex as a means of obtaining personal pleasure, even at the expense of their partners. People high in instrumentality often see sex as a contest and may be liable to use deceit or manipulation to get what they want. They tend to have a somewhat cynical view of sex and comparatively little interest in developing emotional intimacy with their partners.
 
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High Responsibility and Communion. Lower Permissiveness and very low Instrumentality.
 
High on Responsibility and Communion of course
 
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Instrumentality reflects a person’s tendency to see sex as a means of obtaining personal pleasure, even at the expense of their partners. People high in instrumentality often see sex as a contest and may be liable to use deceit or manipulation to get what they want. They tend to have a somewhat cynical view of sex and comparatively little interest in developing emotional intimacy with their partners.

I don't understand why seeing sex as a means of obtaining personal pleasure means that it has to be at the expense of anyone, or why it should be considered cynical.
 
I don't understand why seeing sex as a means of obtaining personal pleasure means that it has to be at the expense of anyone, or why it should be considered cynical.

My sense is that Instrumentality exists on a spectrum that ranges from, for example, healthy self-interest to complete objectification. So Instrumentality doesn’t have to be at anyone’s expense, but as a sexual attitude that puts oneself first, there will be a tipping point on that spectrum where self-interest becomes selfishness.

Also, I think Instrumentality can reflect one’s experience in current or past relationships. For example, in my current relationship, I can remain other-focused because I know that my partner is also doing so, and her self-expression is such that my needs are met. Her experience, as related to me, is the same. It might explain my score.

On the other hand, if you have had the experience in a relationship(s) where your sexual needs were not being met unless you took an active, putting-yourself-first, even selfish role, this might be reflected in one’s Instrumentality score.

Of course, cultural bias, both in the prescriptive as well as descriptive sense, as based on normative values, underlies the overall structure of the test, so it doesn’t surprise me that the variables are what they are.

Cheers,
Ian
 
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I like the conjunction of both the feminism classification along with the sexual attraction test to help with the idea of how we may objectify sexual partners/ not consider ourselves at all or even objectify ourselves. The love capacity test was nice to consider in this sense of self awareness as well. Thank you for sharing this, Ian. It really helped me see some habits I couldn’t make sense of.
 
Regarding Permissiveness, I think I have an idea of what is atypical based on reports in peer-reviewed studies, and I don’t think I stray too far off the path. Inasmuch as I have never been married, every sexual experience I have ever had is premarital, assuming, of course, that I get married someday. Infidelity? I’ve never cheated, but I’ve certainly been cheated on.

The average number of sexual relationships for a 40-year-old man in the United States is five. I’ll offer I’ve had more. Have I engaged in a wider variety of practices? I’m not really sure. Is love a necessary prerequisite for sex? It doesn’t seem to be for many. I tried it that way once, and I wasn’t prepared for the internal emotional fallout, so that’s not the way for me.

But I wouldn’t judge someone for whom it is different. And beyond me hoping people are happy with their choices, and engaging in mutual, reciprocal consent, I don’t care what anyone does (or not). You do you, or whoever, and that’s none of my business. Likewise, what I do is none of yours.

But like I said, I hope you are happy with your choices. I hope no one hurts you. I hope you don’t get tangled up in shame, or straightjacketed by labels that attempt to describe who you find attractive, or not, your desire for sex, or wish to avoid it, or indifference to it. And for sure, I hope no one judges you, or interferes with, who you love, or not. Because that’s no one’s business but your own.

I want you to have the sexual freedom to choose in accordance with your authentic self, and find happiness while you do. If that’s permissive, I’m okay with that.

Cheers,
Ian