reclusion | INFJ Forum

reclusion

invisible

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Sep 30, 2009
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are many others on forum reclusive to some degree?

ive got a handful of good friends IRL but these days most of them live in other cities or overseas and im not lonely without them. i have a few pleasant acquaintances at work but if not for work im sure id lose touch with them.

i have often lost friends and felt relieved. when i was younger i worked in bars and had a familiar acquaintance of maybe 100 people. ive had hundreds more acquaintances and friends in my life but i no longer know any of them. im not on facebook and i avoid any situation in which i might meet new people socially.

i dont regard myself as shut off from the concerns of the world, but im just very happy in my own company and spend as much time as i can behind closed doors. i feel best when im alone and i dont really enjoy being around other people. im not socially anxious, id just rather be alone. although i admit, ive found that people can be treacherous, especially people who say that they love or care for me. but im not alone out of fear of that happening again, i just happen to really enjoy being alone.
 
yeah, i'm sort of a reclusive/loner since i can remember. In college i didn't talked with anyone, except from two persons that chased me all around the campus. When i was a teenager i had periods of generalized anxiety, and panic attacks, and one of the triggerers was going outside my house and i've spent like 2 years like an hermit.
I do keep in touch with friends, i go to parties, and nightclubs, and stuff like that. I enjoy it, but most of the time, i'd rather be by my own, being sociable it's not something that comes naturally and i have to watch out for that compulsion of secluding myself too much, so sometimes i would push myself to call someone to do something.
Facebook is only a tool to stay in touch with friends, via messages mostly, this is the only forum where i'm active too.
Being alone is a requirement, too much interaction is draining by the end.
 
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I concur, but the older I get the more lonely I find myself.
 
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You know what? I used to be very social when I was younger, but my story with anxiety and leaving the house is similar to @BrokenDaniel 's, and ever since I experienced that, my inclination to socialize has been a lot lower. I think that I craved human companionship a lot after I surpassed those difficulties because I didn't have a good support network in my life anymore after it happened, but now that I have obtained that and have regained confidence in myself as a result, I've come to appreciate being alone a lot more. I wonder if I would be okay if I lost touch with everyone, or if I would go crazy again. It's things like this that have made me wonder if I'm an INFJ, but I'm not one.
 
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I go through periods.

I'm not a good friend to most people- I don't keep in touch, and I'm often self-absorbed in my own little head. So, I tend to have a lot of people I am social with, but only see when I invite large groups of people out. Like you [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] sometimes I am happy when I lose a friend because it means I don't feel guilty for not keeping in touch.

However, I am a loyal and giving friend to a small group of people.

I go through periods where I am a recluse and I don't want to see people. These periods are much more frequent and longer than my periods of being social. My good friends know that I can totally become a walrus and stay in- they're okay and don't make me feel bad about it, which I like :)
 
I'm not reculsive, I just wish that other people were.
 
i dont go through periods of sociability, i avoid group social activities as much as possible, unless i am very much obligated to participate because it is a wedding or a major work event. i dont think i would ever again participate in a group social activity out of choice for the pleasure of it. im not sure that im a very good friend, because my need to be alone is so strong that it has sometimes overwhelmed the concerns of friendship. i do enjoy a bit of conversation but after a little while i want to be alone again. when im alone i feel cheerful and relieved, i become more sane rather than less sane. i feel drawn to solitude as a great expanse of peacefulness. i was lonely when i was younger, but now i rarely feel loneliness, and if i do i find it easy to accept. i may feel more uncomfortable about loneliness again as i get older though, it does worry me a little bit.
 
Although I never really thought I was reclusive, in some ways I can be. I don't have a large group of friends, and never did in the past. Just a few people I stuck around with. I enjoyed getting to know people, definitely preferred having a one or two close friends vs. many light acquaintances. I do enjoy time alone more so now than I used to because I am doing things I enjoy. However, I still feel lonely when I don't have the chance to spend time with those who are close to me. I don't want to isolate myself from others but people are screwed up (including myself :D) so some distance helps to keep sanity. Too much social energy can be overwhelming. Since I spend so much of my social time having to fit and squeeze myself into shapes that make me feel like I'm being twisted in 100 knots, I like more time away or time alone from too much interaction.
 
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