- MBTI
- None
I wanted to talk about different problem solving styles I've seen, what style you use personally, and see if we can identify mbti functions associated with the different methods.
Scenario: you decide to go to a friend with an emotional problem. One of three things tends to happen, sometimes a combination. The person:
A)Listens and acknowledges what you're saying, often by relating similar things that have happened to them to show they understand
B)Attempts to interpret the situation and figure out why what happened happened. Can sometimes involve casting blame on someone or something. Sometimes reframes a situation to offer a different interpretation.
C)Attempts to solve the problem by providing solutions.
Here's the thing. I grew up with a lot of method B and C combination. Mostly B, but sometimes C.
I realized recently that I prefer method A. I resent when people try to solve my problems for me and I don't like trying to speculate on why what happened happened, especially when it comes to things with other people, because it's not helpful.
For me, if I confide in a friend it's to let them know where I am at. I don't want them to solve my problem because they can't. I have to work through it all on my own and usually I've been through all of the thoughts they mention anyway. By the time I reach out to talk to someone it's because I've been ruminating for a long time on the issue and can't get myself out of it. I enjoy being distracted from my problem and it not being taken too seriously. My friend being there for me is enough to help me figure it out on my own. I prefer A. I only want to be listened to, related to, and then move on. It helps me feel like I'm not alone in the world.
Because I was raised with b & c I slip into those patterns with people and I make friends with people who do those things. I'm starting to make my intentions more clear, "hey this is how I'm doing I don't need advice I just want to know if you relate". That's helpful. I don't mind B when the person just reframes my problem in a way I didn't think of, but I think unhealthy b turns into blame games and off the wall speculation with no validity behind it so I'm careful with it.
C I hate. It's insulting to me. People give me ideas of solutions to the problem it's like, I need to figure it out on my own or it's not going to be the right answer. It's like questioning my competence or something. I need people to trust that I know how to run my own life. When people tell me what THEY did in a similar situation, that's fine. When they tell me what I should try to do, it just rubs me wrong. Not sure why.
What methods do you use and prefer? Do you identify any other methods? Do you relate to my experiences, not understand them?
If anyone with functions knowledge could let me know if any of these methods line up with a specific function that would be helpful. Thanks.
Scenario: you decide to go to a friend with an emotional problem. One of three things tends to happen, sometimes a combination. The person:
A)Listens and acknowledges what you're saying, often by relating similar things that have happened to them to show they understand
B)Attempts to interpret the situation and figure out why what happened happened. Can sometimes involve casting blame on someone or something. Sometimes reframes a situation to offer a different interpretation.
C)Attempts to solve the problem by providing solutions.
Here's the thing. I grew up with a lot of method B and C combination. Mostly B, but sometimes C.
I realized recently that I prefer method A. I resent when people try to solve my problems for me and I don't like trying to speculate on why what happened happened, especially when it comes to things with other people, because it's not helpful.
For me, if I confide in a friend it's to let them know where I am at. I don't want them to solve my problem because they can't. I have to work through it all on my own and usually I've been through all of the thoughts they mention anyway. By the time I reach out to talk to someone it's because I've been ruminating for a long time on the issue and can't get myself out of it. I enjoy being distracted from my problem and it not being taken too seriously. My friend being there for me is enough to help me figure it out on my own. I prefer A. I only want to be listened to, related to, and then move on. It helps me feel like I'm not alone in the world.
Because I was raised with b & c I slip into those patterns with people and I make friends with people who do those things. I'm starting to make my intentions more clear, "hey this is how I'm doing I don't need advice I just want to know if you relate". That's helpful. I don't mind B when the person just reframes my problem in a way I didn't think of, but I think unhealthy b turns into blame games and off the wall speculation with no validity behind it so I'm careful with it.
C I hate. It's insulting to me. People give me ideas of solutions to the problem it's like, I need to figure it out on my own or it's not going to be the right answer. It's like questioning my competence or something. I need people to trust that I know how to run my own life. When people tell me what THEY did in a similar situation, that's fine. When they tell me what I should try to do, it just rubs me wrong. Not sure why.
What methods do you use and prefer? Do you identify any other methods? Do you relate to my experiences, not understand them?
If anyone with functions knowledge could let me know if any of these methods line up with a specific function that would be helpful. Thanks.