positivity and objectiveness

[soulseeker]

Whenever you have problems and you feel bad, sad, or depressed, or there's just something you're worried about, do you think of the positive side more or the negative side of things?

I think it was yesterday, I recited in class ...the teacher asked something like "Are you contented about your school fair, I know friendships were tested during the school fair ....... " <---- our class USED TO BE a class you would really call a class because everyone cooperates and things like that and everyone is comfortable with each other, everybody is supportive and nobody is left out.. but something happened and poof! we are no longer that class and it was kind of evident during the fair preparations....

and so.. I raised my hand and answered "I did not regret anything because even though we didn't win anything during the school fair, I understand that people in our class did not go during our class fair preparations because they all had valid reasons (some have different committees, part of the student council, debate team and etc..) and I know they did not come because they do not want to"

and she told me... it's good to be positive and she's thankful that i'm positive but sometimes we have to be objective

and so.... i know being positive should have limitations but my explanation of my positivity is this:
well whenever I have problems and when I am down, most of the times I don't get the comfort I need from people, I look into the positive side of things.. I mean if I have a problem and I am already feeling low why would I like to make myself feel worse? there's always the bright side .. and there are a lot of things to be thankful for.. so I choose to remind myself that there are a lot of beautiful things in life. and, I don't mean forgetting about my problems.

so what can you say about positivity and being objective/ realistic?

 

[TinyBubbles]

Being positive could also be called being delusional. Being realistic could also be called being cynical. Just depends on who you ask. When things go wrong for me I do feel depressed and sad and look upon everything with extreme bitterness, but after I've calmed down and had a bit of time to think about it, I turn more towards the positive. I'd like to think things are more good than bad, that there is more progress than stagnation, and my mindset accords with this philosophy.
Overall though, I'm much more of a realist than a dreamer.

 

[xizzax]

some... MOST people seem to equate people realistic with being cynical.. negative etc. but i feel the reality is the opposite.

being positive CAN be delusional but i've realized that being positive and objective go together because finding faults and wrongs are usually very subjective and personal. being objective allows one to see the situation more clearly and without emotional attachment.

i, personally, find myself being positive when i can correctly evaluate a situation.

 

[soulseeker]

true true....
well I choose to be more positive but sometimes I wonder if I am changing myself.. or hiding who I truly am because before I take everything seriously.. like when people say I am too frank or whatever.. I usually get hurt.. but now I take it lightly... I tell myself that people tell me those things not to put me down or anything but because they want to improve who I am

I'm just afraid that maybe I would end up being too positive and forgetting about my problems

 

[xizzax]

true true....
well I choose to be more positive but sometimes I wonder if I am changing myself.. or hiding who I truly am because before I take everything seriously.. like when people say I am too frank or whatever.. I usually get hurt.. but now I take it lightly... I tell myself that people tell me those things not to put me down or anything but because they want to improve who I am

I'm just afraid that maybe I would end up being too positive and forgetting about my problems

heheh, i have actually really done that before..
i was going through a period in my life where i 'pretended to be confident'. but at that time i really did think i was. i didn't realize my was covering up my vulnerability.

don't lie to yourself, the confidence has to come from something deeper than trying to 'just be positive'. it's about shifting an outlook until it becomes a normal part of yourself. only then can your convictions have power.

edit: yea, i really understand what you mean when you say that you're actually serious about things...
sometimes i still do this... play things off when i actually take offense... hmm.
hopefully i didn't misread what you meant.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

Optimism is a motivator
Pessimism is a demotivator

Some things need to be perused, some things need to be avoided. This is why both are needed.

Just another human tool.