Oops! I'm not INFJ....

[Skrimpshidy]

Apparently I'm not an INFJ. I'm an INFP. Which explains a hell of a lot!

Recently my INFJ girl broke up with me. Completely my fault. There's no doubt and I know exactly what it was that I did too.

Anyway...it took this break up and something she said before I screwed up that started me thinking.

I took an MBTI test years ago. Every now and then I'd take another. They were all INFJ. Something never really clicked though. There were similarities.

Though this amazing lady told me she didn't think I understand what her life is like. That got me thinking. There were others too.

So...Though I'm intellectually aware....I am clueless. More in-depth testing and reading reveal I'm INFP. And it makes perfect sense! Though...it may be too late for the relationship. There's sooooo much I figured out how to come together.

Anyway.....Any reply from me as an INFJ stand point. I apologise. I am clueless as to what it's like to be an INFJ.

Not sure what the point is her.

 

[Wyote]

I don't think it's entirely correct to say you are "clueless" because INFPs and INFJs share a ton of similarities.
They are quite different people when you start examining the minutia of their personalities and the specific cognitive functions, but on a whole they are fairly similar.
An INFJ-INFP relationship can definitely highlight some of the key differences between the two as it progresses though.
Anyway, good on you for coming to a greater realization about yourself! Many people misidentify as INFJ and continue to incorrectly believe they are.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Congratulations on gaining new self knowledge and self awareness!

 

[Cornerstone]

 

[Asa]

Interesting. I think that happens a lot. I'm happy for you that you are learning more about yourself.

The INFPs in my life don't understand me. We get along fabulously anyway and love and support each other (and I give them a ton of advice), but I end up needing to explain myself over and over a lot of the time, just like with a lot of other types. I adore them for so many reasons, and generally think they are better people than I, but I don't feel deeply understood. (I'm terrified an INFP will read this and be insulted.)

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Interesting. I think that happens a lot. I'm happy for you that you are learning more about yourself.

The INFPs in my life don't understand me. We get along fabulously anyway and love and support each other (and I give them a ton of advice), but I end up needing to explain myself over and over a lot of the time, just like with a lot of other types. I adore them for so many reasons, and generally think they are better people than I, but I don't feel deeply understood. (I'm terrified an INFP will read this and be insulted.)

Just from my perspective....

As I said, I was intellectually aware of what an INFJ is as the core beginning of a personality. Looking back, so much is obvious.I wish I knew this all then!!!!! OMG!

I honestly didn't understand her, though, I did on many levels. There still seemed to be something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Something........

That being so, I knew there will always be something new in time. Another part of her revealed slowly over time as she allowed herself to open up. I knew in an entire life time, she would still be a mystery. Not that she's mysterious. Just, seems INFJs tend to hold a lot back. For me, that's awesome! Because I love learning new things. Seeing another thing about a person revealed which I had no idea about or wondered about gives me a sense of revitalization for the person. Seems INFJ is perfect for this part or me.
I don't ask a whole lot of probing questions. It feels better to let the other person unfold and reveal what they want as a natural progression of the relationship. On the other hand....it seems that I don't care. Which is the complete opposite! I like to watch them. The little things they do. The look in their eyes. Maybe just the way they sit, or move....all of it.

So, if you feel bad that an INFP doesn't understand you... please try not to internalize this. Maybe they don't on a level you prefer. It's that fact that keeps you endeared to them. Well, not just that, but it's actually a plus. They really want to understand and will always keep reaching inside and studying this or that to make ever single effort to understand you and completely accommodate you as an individual human. We really do enjoy you being your honest self. There's almost zero judgement. Though, it is frustrating because apparently it's hard for INFJs to do it that, even with someone they're close to.

Another thing too. If I'm stressed and venting, or just in the dumps or confused.... it's not advise that's needed. It's just the company of those who are close. Just quality time together means the world. If a person doesn't make that time, it feels like rejection. Not just text, but physical proximity. Also, texting, we get hurt pretty easily if it takes so long for you to reply. Not that you should be at our Beck and call. It's just how we feel. Though, looking back, apparently an INFJ offering advise or solutions to emotional problems seems to mean they really care.

Anyway, not sure this makes sense. And as usual I'm rambling. I apologise.

 

[Asa]

So, if you feel bad that an INFP doesn't understand you... please try not to internalize this.

Oh, I don't feel bad. It's just a fact.

We really do enjoy you being your honest self. There's almost zero judgement. Though, it is frustrating because apparently it's hard for INFJs to do it that, even with someone they're close to.

Yes! It is lovely. <3 I have no problem being open with them. One I've known since I was about 8yrs old, so there are no secrets between us. She is like my sister and we've had each other's back through hard times.

Another thing too. If I'm stressed and venting, or just in the dumps or confused.... it's not advise that's needed.

They come to me asking for advice, though.

 

[Skrimpshidy]

Oh, I don't feel bad. It's just a fact.



Yes! It is lovely. <3 I have no problem being open with them. One I've known since I was about 8yrs old, so there are no secrets between us. She is like my sister and we've had each other's back through hard times.



They come to me asking for advice, though. [/QUOTE

I wonder. If INFJ types aren't completely in touch or understand how they feel. Isn't it possible that's the reason others may not understand as you would like?

I mean. We're all humans. No one will ever completely understand another. There's so many layers and proclivities that make up each individual.

Maybe, some of us might understand that a little more than you think. Though, we may not know the reasons behind each little quirk.

Not opening up and being yourself can cause that too. Then again, people might say you're weird. So what? Everyone is a weirdo if we really get down to it. On top of it, if they're not important enough to get into your private circle of friends. ....why would it matter?

Though, seems to me. Accepting someone as they are is understanding. Because I know exactly what it's like to not be understood. I guess it's a different in needeing understanding and acceptance or not. Though, I suspect all humans really want that deep down inside.

 

[Asa]

@Skrimpshidy


You're such an INFP. LOL.