[INFJ] - One Step Forward,Two Steps Back. | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] One Step Forward,Two Steps Back.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Bellosome, Jun 15, 2016.

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  1. Bellosome

    Bellosome swimming against the current
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    Has anyone ever had that trouble on trusting someone? You wanted to trust them, but then not really? Like, you say something important then go missing in action because you feel that you can't trust them more? Like, the minute you feel like you can trust them but you're scared that you can't? I don't know... I'm confusing. LOL
     
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  2. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    Not an infj, but I relate to what you're saying. Trust is important in all types of relationships. In my opinion, if an infj doesn't have trust, there is no relationship and they will want to pull away and disappear but they also are deeply concerned for the other person and don't want to be the one to inflict negative feelings of any sort. So, even if they don't believe that the relationship has any merit, they will continue on with it for the other person's sake till the infj can't live with the lie any longer.

    Also I hear infj's feel extremely vulnerable after sharing intimate details of their lives, and depending on the reaction of the person they share with, will either deepen the relationship or make an infj shut down completely.

    Welcome to the forum, by the way. :D
     
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  3. Artemisia

    Artemisia Community Member

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    I am there right now....with an INFP. It is tough.
     
  4. OP
    Bellosome

    Bellosome swimming against the current
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    Thank you for the welcome. :) it's probably the latter part. I am feeling vulnerable atm that i want to hide and be gone but at the same time willing to trust them. Like 50/50 whether or not to trust fully.
     
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  5. OP
    Bellosome

    Bellosome swimming against the current
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    My bestfriend is an INTP. We fight a lot. But we always make up. I hope things will be better for you though.
     
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  6. Hoodie

    Hoodie Community Member

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    I tend to trust people with myself very easily, but I wouldn't necessarily trust them with a loved one of mine. I think there's different kinds of trust. I trust a lot of people with many aspects of my personal life, and many parts of me, because I'm a writer and anything that happens to me is an insight and/or potential story. But when it comes to getting things done, I tend to trust myself over most people. For instance if I have a friend over, and we're making sandwiches or something, I tend to be a tad controlling of the environment, because, say we're making salmon sandwiches- I know how to make it (I know that sounds kind of silly, but sometimes it's just easier to do something rather than explain it).

    However, I was just talking to my mom about this last night actually; there's always a small doubt in my mind. I'll be pretty damn sure my parents won't separate, but there's always a sliver of doubt. I'll be sure my friend won't murder me in my sleep, but sometimes there's a sliver of doubt. I'll be sure my family loves me, but sometimes there's some doubt there, too.
     
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  7. #@&5&49

    #@&5&49 Well-known member

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    If I get a feeling that I cannot trust someone I LISTEN TO MY FEELINGS. I don't know the particulars of your situation but if I start getting a feeling that I cannot trust someone I honor those feelings. Sometimes all I'll have is a feeling without words yet to express or describe those feelings. When this happens I take a few steps back, get a broader perspective and then reassess the situation. More often than not my feelings are accurate. After I gain a perspective and reassess the situation I then proceed with caution if I proceed at all.

    First and foremost though is listen to your feelings, they are your intuitive guide and internal road map.
     
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    Bellosome

    Bellosome swimming against the current
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    My heart says go. My mind says no. It's like a 50/50 situation. Like, i wanted to tell something to that person, but i'm also afraid of the reaction. Afraid of losing.
     
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  9. Pyrrhula

    Pyrrhula Community Member

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    But there are different kinds of feelings such as this. If you're truly stressing and anxiety ridden, it's definitely a sign that you should re-evaluate your relationship. However, if you just have the odd worry here and there, it is probably your own issue.

    I'm having occasional thoughts like that at the moment, but on the whole I feel fine. I know it's just because I'm terrified of wasting my time on someone and having my heart broken.

    Love is about taking risks. There are pros and cons. It's not all fluffy.
     
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