Ni dom: how do you conceptualize life?

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barbad0s

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Particularly interested in those who identify with Ni dom, but everyone can answer: how do you conceptualize life in terms of your focal point viewing life over the medium of time?

I'm not sure how I would word that better.

For example, for myself, I do not have a strong sense of continuity in my life. I do hold memories of the past in my mind but I don't really have a good working memory of it in detail. It's almost like I wake up each day and then the past knowledge of what I've been doing recently sinks into my consciousness bit by bit. Some have told me that my emotions and thoughts seem bipolar sometimes because of it. Or that I seem lost or like a child... some who don't know me well have even said I seem demonic or like I'm just an empty shell lol. I notice that apart from my memories and the continuity of the physical world around me, I also rely on the continuity of my role in relation to others in society, my emotions for them and our shared memories and feelings. I tend to feel very lost in life when I'm not forced into a social role where I have to bond with others over time, and I believe that may be why.

I am curious to see how others would describe their experience of life.
 
I'm not sure how to interpret your question, but I'll think about it.

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I think life is something ever changing. I often don't see it as it happens, I either realize that something will change or that something has changed. I think most of my thought space is something pushed to the subconscious where I let most things come to me naturally. As of life as a whole, I think I was around 8-9 when I came to see life as something ultimately pointless.

It was only recently that I realized how bad my self perception is, and how I've changed over time. Talking with old friends and reading old notes from myself has opened my eyes to this. I think that when I'm made aware of something it tends to stay, even if only as subconscious.
 
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In my own word, time is a strange ting to me. I do have memories, yes, but like you seem to explain your memories to be inplanted in your brain each night, I can relate to that. Often I find myself wondering how on earth I ended up in the situation I am in, with the friends in my surrounding. Are they even my friend? I cannot even remember when I first met them... I think about such things now and then.

My time is now, has always been now. Not necissarily the "here and now". I'm often inside my own brain and world, which can be elsewhere. I don't tend to make plans, I don't think, but even less dwell over the past. My world is the world without time, without any calendar and day cycle. Therefore my watch and calendar is vital to me, or else I would never function in this world. I look at the watch very often, to make sure I haven't been away for too long. My view of time is like every single moment is a world that ceases to exist whenever the future becomes now. Therefore the past is nomore... and has never been, for some reason. It's hard to explain! It's not logical, but nevertheless it's a view of the world I live in.

Time is strange.
 
A cycling circle of water that refracts into itself.
 
Two things stand out for me in your post and relating it to myself:

First, I have a great memory for current things, like practical things, or for learning new information, but I realized that my memory for past events is terrible. Other people seem to be able to remember situations and experiences so much better than I can. My childhood memories consist mostly of general feelings or just big images, not details. I can't remember the details. My brother has a great memory for childhood experiences and when he describes something I can then remember it, but without a prompt I would never be able to.

The other one is related to this comment:

niffer said:
I tend to feel very lost in life when I'm not forced into a social role where I have to bond with others over time, and I believe that may be why.
Click to expand...

I realized now that I am living my life for myself for the first time that I feel very empty and lost when I don't have a social role or another person to help me 'be' somebody, if that makes any sense. It's weird, my inner world of thoughts and feelings feels very real but my physical self and actions feel unreal unless I have a witness to relate them to. I feel like if I do things when I am alone they didn't really happen, unless it is related to somebody somehow. So, writing an essay is real because then the professor reads it so that gives it it's 'realness', but dancing in my living room by myself didn't really happen because nobody witnessed it. If I go to Zumba class and dance with people around then I feel like it really happened. I know it's weird, but it's really how I feel. I never would have realized this if I had never had the opportunity to be alone, without prescribed social roles. I'm trying to figure out if there is a way I can somehow get past this. I'm contemplating going on a trip by myself. I have felt like if I took a trip without anybody else it would not seem as real. Perhaps that's what I need to do, take a trip alone, and bring a selfie stick and take lots of pictures so I can remember it and can't deny that it happened.
 
La Sagna said:
Two things stand out for me in your post and relating it to myself:

First, I have a great memory for current things, like practical things, or for learning new information, but I realized that my memory for past events is terrible. Other people seem to be able to remember situations and experiences so much better than I can. My childhood memories consist mostly of general feelings or just big images, not details. I can't remember the details. My brother has a great memory for childhood experiences and when he describes something I can then remember it, but without a prompt I would never be able to.

The other one is related to this comment:



I realized now that I am living my life for myself for the first time that I feel very empty and lost when I don't have a social role or another person to help me 'be' somebody, if that makes any sense. It's weird, my inner world of thoughts and feelings feels very real but my physical self and actions feel unreal unless I have a witness to relate them to. I feel like if I do things when I am alone they didn't really happen, unless it is related to somebody somehow. So, writing an essay is real because then the professor reads it so that gives it it's 'realness', but dancing in my living room by myself didn't really happen because nobody witnessed it. If I go to Zumba class and dance with people around then I feel like it really happened. I know it's weird, but it's really how I feel. I never would have realized this if I had never had the opportunity to be alone, without prescribed social roles. I'm trying to figure out if there is a way I can somehow get past this. I'm contemplating going on a trip by myself. I have felt like if I took a trip without anybody else it would not seem as real. Perhaps that's what I need to do, take a trip alone, and bring a selfie stick and take lots of pictures so I can remember it and can't deny that it happened.
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Yeah it sounds like you might benefit a lot from doing random stuff on your own.

For me it's the opposite; I benefit when doing focused activity with others. I don't feel like life alone is unreal so much as epically meaningless, like "I might as well be dead" meaningless. Also when others are unwelcoming towards me and I feel like I serve no function in their lives and that they will not take any responsibility for me, I begin feeling the same way about others as well. Yeah I should probably move to a country with a collectivist culture lol. Fucking hate Vancouver. People don't look each other in the eyes here. Real emotionally healthy guys.
 
This might sound silly or something but I feel I live in all the periods at the same time: the past, the present and the future. I'm constantly aware of the past, what has happened before and how it shows up in the present - and also what it (probably) will lead into in the future. Most of the time my thoughts are in the future, what could or will happen, how it will occur, how I can help it to happen or prevent it from happening.

Of these three, the present is the most strange to me. I don't feel it. It just see the big continuum of things. In which the present is just a passing phase and as such not that interesting or something to hold on to. Of course this goes against the recommended "carpe diem" attitude. Bad me.
 
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Nicodeamus said:
This might sound silly or something but I feel I live in all the periods at the same time: the past, the present and the future. I'm constantly aware of the past, what has happened before and how it shows up in the present - and also what it (probably) will lead into in the future. Most of the time my thoughts are in the future, what could or will happen, how it will occur, how I can help it to happen or prevent it from happening.

The present is the most strange to me. I don't feel it. It just see the big continuum of things. In which the present is just a passing phase and as such not that interesting or something to hold on to. Of course this goes against the recommended "carpe diem" attitude. Bad me.
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Yeah, when I'm hanging out with an INFJ I feel like they can help me see "the matrix" LOL. I perceive you guys as emotional creatures that just look high as hell.
 
Ha! Well put. And I know that if I would tell anyone everything I (think I) see of what is and what is going to happen because of these and these and these things, they'd send me to a mental asylum. And that is the reason why I don't talk about those things, practically never.
 
Are you asking - how Ni doms form their ideas about life?

That's like a huge questions lol I don't know where to start.
All this memory stuff you guys speak off is almost alien to me when I come to take a perspective on this. I've had a firm identity of who I am and who I aspire to be by around the age of 7. After that I was mostly contempt with my potential and roles....though, the environment as a kid is certainly different to an adults. We still hold that unity.....and the feeling of one-ss through out life.
I think I've explained growing up as Ni dom before...it was like that little voice that slightly faster than me...in finding the correct response. I didn't trust its functions for quiet a while....I believe that what lead me to mathematics and calculations. I much preferred calculating the correct response through stages and steps that's I can validate. that was it. Validation.....it was extremely important to me. By the time I have got to school....my mind and so called...instincts...which might best describe it. were in good harmony and I have found a better flow and understanding to how my own mind works. I was just basically.....very intuitive. That's it.
 
Nicodeamus said:
Ha! Well put. And I know that if I would tell anyone everything I (think I) see of what is and what is going to happen because of these and these and these things, they'd send me to a mental asylum. And that is the reason why I don't talk about those things, practically never.
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Don't worry about it. It's not about the ideas themselves; in regards to conversation, it's about how the ideas are expressed--also about whether or not they can be put to any realistic usage.
 
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