[INFJ] Misdiagnosed autism with INFJ people

[BeautifulSuffering]

Hellohello,

So when I was a small child I was diagnosed with a soft form of PDD-NOS. But growing up the way people threat me because of that disorder it just felt so wrong. The way people learn autists are, and how to interact with them just completely does not match who I am. I have been to several autism-groups later when I was a teenager, where they learn you how to socialize etc. But the people here were just so extremely different from me and I could not connect with them at all. Instead of feeling like I was among my people I felt completely like a outcast.

The main reason I know I don't even have a small form of autism is that my empathy level is extremely high. To be diagnosed with autism you have to have some lack of empathy.

Later I did some other psychological tests to help diagnosing another disorder/mental state I have. In this tests they also mentioned that there was basicaly no signs of autism. This confirmed what I had thought all these years.

When I did the personality test that told me I have the INFJ-T type, strangely a lot of unanswered things about me as a person fell into place. And now I also see a lot of personality traits that I/we (NFJ's) have that people with autism may have too. So I completely understand why I am diagnosed with a form of autism. But I know for a fact that this is so not true. What is affirming for me that autism is not possible for the INFJ personality type is that we have a strong need to change the world, mostly based on indirect empathy for others. Like I said before, to be diagnosed with any form of autism you need to lack empathy.

This diagnosis has ruined my life so far. People constantly drag me down and tell me I am not capable of a lot of things. So growing up I never reached my potential. And now as a young adult I am trying to undo the damage and learn more about myself to still live a fufiling life.

Does anyone on this forum know more about the combination of people with the INFJ personality type and misdiagnosing of autism? And how to undo damage?

xxx

 

[James]

Does anyone on this forum know more about the combination of people with the INFJ personality type and misdiagnosing of autism

I've no expertise in this, I'd suggest seeing your doctor and asking their advice. For yourself, maybe think through your goals, and what you want to do.

What kind of job would you enjoy, what training you might need etc. If you can think through your options and decide what it is you want, you will probably feel better about things.

Good luck with it all.

 

[invisible]

Once as a bartender I served a mother of an autistic child who told me that I prob have some form of autism. Not exactly a diagnosis, but still couldn't be more wrong about me.

A diagnosis is supposed to help you, not hinder you. Sounds like you have made a pretty thorough attempt at working with diagnosis to improve your life. If you've made a well thought out decision that the diagnosis has done not been constructive for you then leave the diagnosis behind and try something new. If the new approach doesn't work out you can always come back to the diagnosis (or some diagnostic approach) in future.

Reach out for your dreams... work towards something meaningful to you... challenge yourself...

 

[invisible]

Whether people see you as autistic or not they will tell you that you can't do things. They are just bitter about their own lives and seek to validate their bitterness by dragging others down with them. Just thank them for their advice and get on with what you want to achieve.

This is going to sound harsh but I don't think that you can undo damage. You just have to accept where life has brought you and make the most of it. Sometimes the crappy experiences you've been through in life will surprise you by giving you some special insight or motivation. You have learned what you DON'T want your life to be and you can use that knowledge to move forward in a way that other people can't.

 

[jkxx]

Hi,

As an INFJ-T myself I have been misdiagnosed as well although not with autism (but I do know of cases where INFJs have been categorized this way) – INFJs are most vulnerable in their teenage years and if you are treated as an outsider and put down then it can have long-term effects on you later on. Not on your actual intelligence or abilities but rather on how you see yourself.

Professionals do make mistakes and it is your right to find them and then challenge them if you find they have stated something wrong. I had to do this and it was well worth it since it taught me quite a bit about how they make their diagnoses and later why they made the mistakes they did as well.

You are much more than a label, whether it’s an MBTI type or a diagnosis (overused but true) so this is just the beginning of your journey. Unfortunately it sounds like you have been made to believe you must be like other people but this is not true, and it’s perfectly fine to just be who you are in a way you like.

The damage… is those beliefs you have been given, and the effect on you they have had. Some people do well reading up and getting feedback (as you are doing now), others try therapy (not for autism, just to talk things through with someone), some improve with time as they get to know themselves better.

Certainly you’re looking in the right places and asking the right questions and that’s a great start.

 

[Steppencat]

Autism is a very fashionable diagnosis and I think there is a popular tendency nowadays to stick the label of Asperger's/autism on anyone who is socially awkward/reserved and intelligent. When I was at college two of my teachers were convinced that I was aspergic, when in reality I was suffering from acute social anxiety and paranoia as a result of certain experiences in my late teens involving drug-experimentation and rejection by my peers.

I think INFJs can also (ironically) come across as being very rational. Even my mother, who knows that I am good at understanding and communicating my emotions, and that I tend to the artistic, philosophical and spiritual side of things, describes me as being very logical, objective, analytical, truthful, clear-minded - the kinds of terms most commonly applied to NT-types (particularly INTPs) and people on the autistic spectrum. I think these terms do actually characterise a lot about the way we rationalise and communicate our irrationally-derived insights, but they don't really represent how we primarily experience life in our own minds.

I should make it clear that I'm not claiming that there's a link between NTs and autistic-spectrum disorders. Actually, from what I understand of autism/Asperger's, there is a much greater tendency to emphasise the concrete, objective sense data (i.e. sensing), than there is towards intuition. In general, I would say that autistic traits are most aligned to thinking and sensing; and, of sensing, more to introverted sensing than to extraverted sensing. But this is just speculation.

 

[Tin Man]

Well first of all autistic people definitely have empathy. In fact it's safe to say that the most empathetic people I've met were autistic. Changing the world, caring about others are all things autistic people can do. There are numerous charities and support groups created by autistic people because of this.

Now I don't know if you were misdiagnosed or not, but either way being autistic (or just about any diagnosis) comes with a fair amount of stigma. So it's good to define yourself outside that stigma. To find out for yourself what you can do, what you want to do. Not to be limited by what other people say.

Like @James said, none of us here are experts here. It's best to see a trained professional or someone who you know and trust to get further insight into a possible misdiagnosis.

Whatever the outcome, I wish you the best.

 

[Chow]

Hellohello,

So when I was a small child I was diagnosed with a soft form of PDD-NOS. But growing up the way people threat me because of that disorder it just felt so wrong. The way people learn autists are, and how to interact with them just completely does not match who I am. I have been to several autism-groups later when I was a teenager, where they learn you how to socialize etc. But the people here were just so extremely different from me and I could not connect with them at all. Instead of feeling like I was among my people I felt completely like a outcast.

The main reason I know I don't even have a small form of autism is that my empathy level is extremely high. To be diagnosed with autism you have to have some lack of empathy.

Later I did some other psychological tests to help diagnosing another disorder/mental state I have. In this tests they also mentioned that there was basicaly no signs of autism. This confirmed what I had thought all these years.

When I did the personality test that told me I have the INFJ-T type, strangely a lot of unanswered things about me as a person fell into place. And now I also see a lot of personality traits that I/we (NFJ's) have that people with autism may have too. So I completely understand why I am diagnosed with a form of autism. But I know for a fact that this is so not true. What is affirming for me that autism is not possible for the INFJ personality type is that we have a strong need to change the world, mostly based on indirect empathy for others. Like I said before, to be diagnosed with any form of autism you need to lack empathy.

This diagnosis has ruined my life so far. People constantly drag me down and tell me I am not capable of a lot of things. So growing up I never reached my potential. And now as a young adult I am trying to undo the damage and learn more about myself to still live a fufiling life.

Does anyone on this forum know more about the combination of people with the INFJ personality type and misdiagnosing of autism? And how to undo damage?

xxx

I say the sky is the limit!! You realized who you are so go for it! Don't let your past or anyone hold you back. All my life I was told I couldn't do this or I wouldn't amount to anything. I just waited until I was ready and felt strong enough to get stuff done and I was able to achieve my dream and now I am a successful professional with only myself to thank. You can do this too

 

[markpierre]

BeautifulSuffering,
So use your INFJness to lift yourself up, which is probably what you do for everyone else, if you're an INFJ. Treat yourself like you treat everyone else.
Doctors are there to distribute the pharmaceutical manufacturers products. They don't really know any better. I grew up in a time when 'syndromes' didn't exist;
they're no more real to me now. I probably would have been labeled something or other, but I grew up to be a loving helpful person. INFJs are very often the best at whatever they choose to do. Follow your heart.
What you are is an agreement you made with God before you were born. A gift I recon. I recommend you drop 'suffering' from your name.
BeautifulSelfaware.

 

[BeautifulSuffering]

Thankyou for the responses people. These are really helpfull xxx

 

[Night Sky]

I was misdiagnosed with autism as a teen. Now I understand it was just because I was/am a very socially anxious, quiet, introverted girl and I like to spend a lot of time alone.
I haven't got it confirmed that my diagnosis is wrong, but I am certain it is. I no longer believe in psychiatric diagnoses anyway.

 

[BeautifulSuffering]

I was misdiagnosed with autism as a teen. Now I understand it was just because I was/am a very socially anxious, quiet, introverted girl and I like to spend a lot of time alone.
I haven't got it confirmed that my diagnosis is wrong, but I am certain it is. I no longer believe in psychiatric diagnoses anyway.

Glad to hear someone who understands and is in the same situation. It is so so hard to convince people who have been around our live always that you don't have autism. And maybe they will never see it. But I am trying to let go of those people their ideas about me and focus on what I believe is true and try proove things to myself instead of others.

In your case, how does the diagnosis make you feel if I can ask? Does it bother and hurt you like it does with me? And if have you reached a point where you can let it go and truly believe that you don't need a new diagnosis to proove that you don't have it, how did you manage this?

 

[Night Sky]

Glad to hear someone who understands and is in the same situation. It is so so hard to convince people who have been around our live always that you don't have autism. And maybe they will never see it. But I am trying to let go of those people their ideas about me and focus on what I believe is true and try proove things to myself instead of others.

In your case, how does the diagnosis make you feel if I can ask? Does it bother and hurt you like it does with me? And if have you reached a point where you can let it go and truly believe that you don't need a new diagnosis to proove that you don't have it, how did you manage this?

It's great that you're focusing on what you believe is true, that's what I try to do too.

Having that diagnosis on paper really bothers me, because I know it is not true but some people in my life would rather believe the psychiatrist who diagnosed me. The diagnosis has only been a negative experience for me. My parents told everyone they knew that I was autistic, and most people who interacted with me would talk slowly and explain things they didn't need to explain to me. My teachers knew, and they told my classmates. I was treated like I was unintelligent and disabled, but I'm just a normal person.
However, my dad and my boyfriend say they don't think I'm autistic, which feels good. I know I'm not.

My solution will be to move to a different country to start a new chapter in my life, hopefully get my medical journal erased after applying for it, never see a psychiatrist again, and to never again let anyone know I was diagnosed with autism.

 

[e56ni8j]

This is funny because I have always thought that I was *slightly* autistic. Honestly though I've had too little information about autism to make that assumption, but a lot of the behavior I had observed from autistic people seemed "familiar" to me. I understand that true autism is rampant, (or so the establishment suggests) but I'll have to study more about it to understand it.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

It turns out that most people are pretty dumb, even professionals such as doctors.