Lost at this juncture of life. Advice? | INFJ Forum

Lost at this juncture of life. Advice?

juju817

juju817

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Jun 26, 2011
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I don't have any friends or family who are adequately equipped to give me any wise or rational advice. From what I've encounter I see their arbitrary biases seep into any suggestion. A mixture of what i want to hear and what's best for them. I also don't want to be burdensome and make them be my chalk board to sort out thoughts and ideas. So I thought i would ask my fellow INFJ's to help a bewildered man out.

For the past 2 years I've been trying to find myself and ruminating on a career path. After high school i decided if i were to go college, it would be with purpose and because it was required for my career choice.

During this time. I had a music and writing endeavor which dwindled. I published some poems (small online magazines) and made some song's but i know in my heart of hearts, its not what i want to do for a living.

Those recently withered and now i am completely lost. I know i would progress in academia. I have the diligence for research in subjects of interest. Psychology and neuroscience are definite possibilities. But i cringe at the notion of conducting studies and gathering data(basically what makes science; science). I prefer to be updated and perceive the results.
This sounds pretentious but i do fancy the notion of being a scholar though.

I would rather enjoy living creatively. I am working on a short film and anime which have potential. Or maybe even game development. I don't want to jump into debt without being completely definitive of my endeavors. What do you suggest? Go to school? Wait it out longer? Wallow in self pity because i need an illusion to solidify my adequacy? Help!
 
hmmm i recommend going to school in a field that guarentees work and doesnt take too long. something like HR. right now the job market it really tight and a lot of degrees and diplomas are just useless. keep up ur creativity but don't expect it to pay the bills anytime soon. keep working on ur craft and someday it may be strong enough to earn you a living. until then though get a degree or diploma in something that is certain to get you a job that earns at least 40k to start. the best thing to do is find programs that offer co-op so that you gain work experience while you're in school.
 
Take a deep breath.

Take another one.

Now,
your dilemma is natural - expected, in most cases.
Something I heard (I can't give solid advice as I'm still in high school):
keep your options open in the beginning,
narrow down as you progress.

Best of luck, regardless.
 
lenina said:
hmmm i recommend going to school in a field that guarentees work and doesnt take too long. something like HR. right now the job market it really tight and a lot of degrees and diplomas are just useless. keep up ur creativity but don't expect it to pay the bills anytime soon. keep working on ur craft and someday it may be strong enough to earn you a living. until then though get a degree or diploma in something that is certain to get you a job that earns at least 40k to start. the best thing to do is find programs that offer co-op so that you gain work experience while you're in school.
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I don't have the slightest of interest in any HR fields. Suggest anything else?
 
after finishing school and watching my friends do the same i can say IT, nursing, project management, and hr are the fields that are hiring.
 
I used to go to school in a very big city. It was flooded with artist/creative types. They were all starving and working crappy dead-end jobs to support themselves. And some of them went to pretty high-end schools (consequently with high-end debts). It's ultimately supply and demand - there simply isn't enough of a market interested in paying for the stuff these artists/creative types make. Same thing with psychology majors. Most of them who can't get into grad school and hunker down on serious science are working as secretaries and HR lower-rung cogs.

My suggestion is this: take up a trade. There is a shortage of good tradesmen - electricians, plumbers, etc. And so long as people have clogged toilets and there are laws mandating safe, habitable environments, the demand will be there for these professions.

You can put your creativity towards creation in this manner. Once you have money, you can spend it on your artsy stuff. If you don't make money off your artsy stuff, you still have work that'll feed you and feed you well.
 
SpilledMilk said:
I used to go to school in a very big city. It was flooded with artist/creative types. They were all starving and working crappy dead-end jobs to support themselves. And some of them went to pretty high-end schools (consequently with high-end debts). It's ultimately supply and demand - there simply isn't enough of a market interested in paying for the stuff these artists/creative types make. Same thing with psychology majors. Most of them who can't get into grad school and hunker down on serious science are working as secretaries and HR lower-rung cogs.

My suggestion is this: take up a trade. There is a shortage of good tradesmen - electricians, plumbers, etc. And so long as people have clogged toilets and there are laws mandating safe, habitable environments, the demand will be there for these professions.

You can put your creativity towards creation in this manner. Once you have money, you can spend it on your artsy stuff. If you don't make money off your artsy stuff, you still have work that'll feed you and feed you well.
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Yeah i think this is what im coming to realize. It's good to hear it, thanks.
 
skip the school

have some adventures

stay creative even if it doesn't make you money
it pays off in other ways
 
You should take a left at Albuquerque, I constantly find myself resenting not taking that left.
 
juju817 said:
Yeah i think this is what im coming to realize. It's good to hear it, thanks.
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Glad I can be of help. Here's another indicator that college isn't what it purports to be: learn from their mistakes.

Keep reality in mind but also keep a piece of what keeps you alive.
 
You're at an amazing position juju, seeking inwardly to find what defines you and which path in life that introspection will lead you. I wish I was asking those same questions 3 years ago. I'll share a little bit about my story and hope it somehow helps you.

As soon as I graduated high school, I entered a 4 year university and majored in Business. My choice in major was influenced by external input (my father). He taught me to value being a productive member of society, to have a good income, good credit, etc, etc, etc. And I did end up adopting those values. I finished my degree, got a good paying job right after college, and the week after graduation I found myself in my own office. A junior executive, woohoo. But after the first week I was building this sense of anxiety. It felt as though my brain was dying, that I was not on the right path, something was wrong. I realized that the values I adopted were not my own, and it was leading me astray from a sense of fulfillment. I needed to think, I needed to explore with my brain, I needed something beyond a pragmatic business career.

After 3 months I quit my job, enrolled in a post-baccalaureate program, and am now pursuing a degree in pure mathematics (I'm aiming towards a Phd eventually). It feels right and I feel happy about my decision. Yes, it put me into debt. Yes, I'm broke as hell. But I've never cared about those things. I found out what's at my core and channeled it into something that aligns it perfectly.

Find out what you value. If financial stability is something you value, gear your endeavors to something that will secure that. If it isn't, why not take a chance towards academia? I guess the question to ask is: what keeps you feeling alive?

Explore different options, try different classes and take your time. There's no rush.
 
I think I'm going to major in economics and I feel like it is a field that is about perceiving data and figuring out what's going on. Market trends and patterns. Seems like a good place for Ni but I could be wrong.
 
Always do your research. Let me know how things turn out for you. Try to stay busy while you are looking.
 
Thank you guys for the amicable input! I think i am going to wait it out another year (/like the idea of not rushing). I'm growing healthy habits of self education. This lovely forum showed me, http://academicearth.org.


@ Troisi- It's really hard for me not to get influenced by external factors! In INFJs Fi is 6th on the hierarchy which governs what we the individual want (so i've read). Thus i must constantly ask myself to be selfish on this matter (it seems).
 
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When I was 20 years old.... jeez!

I failed out of my first school, worked a crappy job and participated in some unhealthy "extracurricular" activities that involved killing brain cells (but I believe in Darwinism, and they were the slow ones that died anyhow!). Point is, I'm not the same as I was back then and many decisions I made back then, I wouldn't make now... and vice versa.

Find something you have a passion for and do it. Go to school for it. Work in the field. Eat, sleep, live and breathe it. That's the one difference between me now and 15 years ago.
 
I don't know if this will help you, but I found this book rather invaluable on the subject: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Your-Own-North-Star/dp/0812932188/"]Amazon.com: Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live (9780812932188): Martha Beck: Books[/ame]

My best advice: pay attention to what makes you feel most alive. Make lists of the sorts of experiences you are longing to have in life and when in the past you've felt most fulfilled. Listen more to your passion and intuition than to your inner (or outer) critics.... never go into something just because it will "pay the bills," unless, of course, this is part of a bigger plan... temporary, and meant to fund a passion-based career choice. You will "automatically" be capable of your highest success in the field you are most drawn to. Why? Because your heart will be backing you!
 
If you want a systematic approach, I recommend The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success by Nicholas Lore. That books guides you through a series of self-assessments (which includes MBTI) and at the end you will find out the one thing you were looking for. It's really good.

As for now, if I dissect your post, then we see the following careers:

1. "music and writing endeavour"
2. academia: "psychology and neuroscience"
3. "short film and anime"
4. "game development"

Which means that your first task is to decide whether you want to go into academia or a creative career. Your decision tree is basically like this:

1. Creative careers
1a. Game development
1b. Short film and anime
1c. Music and writing endeavour
2. Academia
2a. Psychology
2b. Neuroscience
 
A few supplemental technical careers that I'm a little familiar with:

Graphic Artist - have a close friend in this. He does whatever work he can right now, but eventually he'll become a freelancer. It takes time to build up clients, but once you get to that point there's a good amount of freedom/creativity involved.

Programmer - I am this. It's not academic, but it's still intellectual. If you have an entrepreneurial leaning, you can use it for more creative pursuits down the road. You mentioned self-education as well, and since it always requires learning new skills/languages, programmers tend to be a bit auto-didactic.

Sound Engineer? (not sure what the proper term is for this) - Sound like you have some multimedia skills. There are lots of amateur musicians out there that want to make CDs. I think my brother will eventually get involved in this business.

My suggestion is this: take up a trade. There is a shortage of good tradesmen - electricians, plumbers, etc. And so long as people have clogged toilets and there are laws mandating safe, habitable environments, the demand will be there for these professions.

You can put your creativity towards creation in this manner. Once you have money, you can spend it on your artsy stuff. If you don't make money off your artsy stuff, you still have work that'll feed you and feed you well.
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Personally I like this advice. Modern lifespans are pretty long, so spending 15 years on something practical doesn't really prevent you from doing something more creative/meaningful down the road or part time.
 
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