losing and regaining confidence

[Gaze]

Many of us have gone through times where we lost our confidence or self belief but along the way regained it or at least learned to believe in ourselves again.

So, how did you regain confidence after a time of low confidence or belief in self? What helped you regain your sense of self?

 

[#@&5&49]

This is probably different for everyone, but I believe we experience loss and fulfillment again and again throughout our lives. Each loss breaks off a little piece of who we thought we were and what we thought was our belief system. Each loss is then replaced by something else and our experience of life expands. After a while you realize how fragile our belief systems really are, and sometimes how meaningless.

For me, I experienced a series of events that shattered the core of my belief system on almost every level. Confidence was just one of the many things that left with my previous perspective. As I healed and recovered my self confidence returned, but only as a result of rebuilding my life and perspective. My experience was extreme and somewhat similar to the movie "The Brave One". I know what it feels like to lose everything you love and be stripped of every shred of dignity. Once you make it back from a place like that you never look at yourself, life, or people the same way again. You become a different person because you are different now. You resurrect yourself, so to speak, and the new you includes your losses.

Your experience of life expands ten fold and what you thought no one could live through becomes just a part of who you are now. I guess I would say the best way to rebuild your confidence is to survive, grieve, rebuild, and learn how to thrive again. How those are done will be different for everyone. If you can manage all of those, confidence will just follow. Everything we need is in front of us, we just have to recognize that it's there.

 

[ThisIsWhoIAm]

I see eye to eye with Sadie with most of the things she/he said.

I've been through some pretty harsh stuff growing up, from the suicide of my big brother which was like my role model for everything and was more of a father to me than our dad.. Then the suicide of my dad a few years later... And then i developed a manic depressive personality which is mostly depressive.. More towards clinical depression that occurs once every year or two and lasts for almost a year on average...

And some other unpleasant stuff...

My way of rebuilding confidence and self belief, is choosing life over and over again, and working hard to rehabilitate my self (not from drug addiction, but from the consequences of long term depression; weak body, loss of self confidence / self belief and a big blow to my network of friends). The confidence follows, as Sadie said, after i work hard and rehabilitate myself step by step.

As to what helps - Great friends, which i gained along the way. I love them so much i could not express this in writing. Great therapists (psychiatrist, psychologist). I do not have a strong family behind me, so fortunately i have a good network of friends which are like a family substitute to me, and my therapists as well, which are kind, caring and very smart people.

It also helps to be persistent; after you have decided on a route of action to make things better in your life, do it, but be patient. I thought about it like this just a few days ago:

Moving on step by step towards your goal - One small step at a time, will eventually create a big step. One big step at a time, will eventually create a leap. One leap at a time, will eventually create a significant change in your life .

Cheers, and thank you all for this wonderful forum.