Long-term friendship

jupiterswoon

jupiterswoon

Permanent Fixture
MBTI
ISFP
Enneagram
3
Maybe I'm a fool, but I always assumed that long term friendships would always be the most stable and peaceful pillars in one's life. I guess I should have looked at Freud and Jung, before deciding that, since they had such a tenuous relationship. Anyway, what has been your experience with long term friends? Do you go through ups and downs in your friendship? Do you have conflicts? Are you similar types or opposites? Is it normal to smile and cringe when thinking about your oldest friend at the same time?

All of my closest friends, that have stuck with me through the years, I can list off each annoyance, each reason why I shouldn't be their friend, but at the same time, they have more than proved their worth, because they can list off each annoyance that they have of me. Knowing other people is such a funny thing. Thoughts?
 
My best friend for the last 15 years is an INFJ so it's nice we think similarly. Yes, we have been through ups and downs a few times at one point we didn't speak for 8 months. I don't have any annoyances with him in particular. We get along pretty great and we have accepted each other as brothers. It's to the point where we can say we love each other and neither of us feels weird about it. It's strange that even though INFJ males are so rare I know four in real life and I am close friends with three of them.
 
I know a lot of people who have been long term friends but I'm not really connected with them and so it sort of bothers me in a way. I have only 3 superficial friendships like this and it's really hard for me to maintain to be honest. I have my closest friend who I have had major ups and downs with in the first couple of years but we've both really enjoyed our friendship and pushed each other out of our comfort zones and have grown a lot from it. I've never really been one to have more than a handful of close friends though. The rest of the people kinda just know me on a surface level, and I play that part and it's exhausting. So I tend to avoid a lot. The older I get the more people drift apart because they're all busy with their lives and I mine. I've never really met an INFJ who had a surplus of acquaintances they call friends though. so there's that thought to entertain as well.
 
My best friend is an INTJ (going on 9 years). We have definitely had our ups and downs. I have tried to edge away from her a few times, but I think mostly because she hurt me. I love her to death, and we get along splendidly. Sometimes we get so mad at each other but we always work it out and try our best to patch up the hurts. I think she gets annoyed by how my emotions play into the way I think, and I get annoyed by how sometimes she has the emotion of a brick wall (she tries hard though, for me). But, we understand each other well. I wouldn't trade her for the world, and even though I do have my list of "why we shouldn't be friends", I don't think I'll ever be able to let her go. We laugh, we cry (or actually just me lolol) and we stick by each other. We're both fiercely loyal to each other.
 
My long term friendships are just solid because we've known each other for years and watched each other grow into adults. We love each other because we have watched that development. We don't need to talk about it or remind each other. Sometimes we go for a long time without speaking but whenever we are in the same city it's like we didn't skip a day. I think when you truly love someone, there is no sense of ownership. You don't feel like that person owes you anything or like you owe them anything. It's rare, but if you are lucky, you will have people in your life who are just happy for you and want the best for you. All the greedy human nature stuff gets put aside. Those are real long term friends and the ones that make it through the years.
 
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