Live to work, or work to live? | INFJ Forum

Ginny

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May 23, 2017
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I think it is fairly self-explanatory. I have a choice to make which I have put off for way too long, and I can't seem to find the answer to this question.

Should I just work so I can pursue my passions privately and perhaps change directions later? Or should I dive (blindly) into a direction wherein the work would take up all my energy, if not more?

I'm almost certain that I already have made my decision, whether it turns out to be the right one or not, but it's still a question that I'd like your perspectives on.
 
I think it is fairly self-explanatory. I have a choice to make which I have put off for way too long, and I can't seem to find the answer to this question.

Should I just work so I can pursue my passions privately and perhaps change directions later? Or should I dive (blindly) into a direction wherein the work would take up all my energy, if not more?

I'm almost certain that I already have made my decision, whether it turns out to be the right one or not, but it's still a question that I'd like your perspectives on.
I view work as a stepping stone, personally. It's my opinion that you should work to live. Jumping in blind is gratifying and romantic, but it's also unrealistic. If you build up and plan carefully, making a conscious effort to move closer to what you really want, then you're more likely to reach that dream and keep a hold of it when you get there. You just have to be patient and have good timing.
 
Should I just work so I can pursue my passions privately and perhaps change directions later? Or should I dive (blindly) into a direction wherein the work would take up all my energy, if not more?

Hmh.. I get caught in whatever I engage (because of my sense of quality/wholeness).. so for me it's really important where I spent my lifetime and energy.

The advice "work to live" as in "it's just work" never really applied to me in a good nurturing way..(I tried.. just to learn that's not me.. I need to grow.. and I need to contribute to make something better). For me that kind of work that's only there to have money at least would need to leave enough time and energy to pursue passions privately.. or.. as said.. for a specific amount of time as a stepping stone for..something important.

So.. there is a sweet spot between that and the feeling of "live to work", that you see here everywhere (you probably know what I mean, Ginny)... because that is most often what this attempt ("work to live") can turn into easily if the work isn't selected carefully or with a overall plan for a road to a happy life ("what makes you happy" could ideally be in all aspects of your life if you know what it is).

(No matter what motto your work will run under.. it's still your lifetime.)

I'm not sure what you mean by "dive blindly into a direction"...?
I think each person has some kind of a theme throughout life and career.. and even the oddest choices ("direction changers") in a career have very probably still the same profound core element. But I'm a total (Querdenker) and I usually come with an explanatory pitch ;)

It's easy to talk about it in general or theory.. in the end it's about realistic choices, too. Life has lots of twists and turns just waiting for you to rethink and adjust plans and short-time directions ( > detours).

...hmh the "taking up all energy or even more" part is kind of worryfying.. Whatever you do, you keep an eye on that, right? :)
 
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So.. there is a sweet spot between that and the feeling of "live to work", that you see here everywhere (you probably know what I mean, Ginny)... because that is most often what this attempt ("work to live") can turn into easily if the work isn't selected carefully or with a overall plan for a road to a happy life ("what makes you happy" could ideally be in all aspects of your life if you know what it is).
This is exactly why I am asking this question. I see so many people whose whole lives are drowned by their work, which they don't even like to do really, and it takes all the energy they could put into learning and growth. I'm trying to be sensible (or realistic, as @Icedream said ;) ), which is why I stopped studying after the successful completion of my Bachelor to search for an occupation that would get me into earning some money.

I'm not sure what you mean by "dive blindly into a direction"...?
This refers to the opportunity I have had to do something profound, but since I have been made aware of unintented ramifications that could come with it (for others more than myself), I don't think it's worth the risk.

The search for something else has been less than optimal. Hence the question. I don't want to end up with all the life and energy sucked out of me, spending too much time in the Shadow as a consequence.
 
Work to live. Don't drown yourself in your work, especially if you don't even enjoy it that much. It's like jumping on the express train to Burnout City.

It's different if you really love or feel very fulfilled by your work. For example, doctors who work many hours to save a patient, midwives who get up in the middle of the night to deliver babies, teachers helping children get a passing grade, policemen who feel proud of wearing their uniform, clergy who devote their time to spirituality, etc.

But if it's just any job to pay the bills.. god no. Just do your work but pour your energy elsewhere. :)
 
This is exactly why I am asking this question. I see so many people whose whole lives are drowned by their work, which they don't even like to do really, and it takes all the energy they could put into learning and growth. I'm trying to be sensible (or realistic, as @Icedream said ;) ), which is why I stopped studying after the successful completion of my Bachelor to search for an occupation that would get me into earning some money.


This refers to the opportunity I have had to do something profound, but since I have been made aware of unintented ramifications that could come with it (for others more than myself), I don't think it's worth the risk.

The search for something else has been less than optimal. Hence the question. I don't want to end up with all the life and energy sucked out of me, spending too much time in the Shadow as a consequence.

so... what's the risky ramification besides the less optimal choices? :)
 
Don't drown yourself in your work, especially if you don't even enjoy it that much. It's like jumping on the express train to Burnout City.

Plus you could die tomorrow
 
Plus you could die tomorrow
*giggles* xD xD #finaldetour


So..erhm..

The question is what is important to you right now? @Ginny ..
Maybe there are ways to accomplish this in a small scale for now (in job, jobs, privately or..who knows)...and build it up from there...?
 
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*giggles* xD xD #finaldetour


So..erhm..

The question is what is important to you right now? @Ginny ..
Maybe there are ways to accomplish this in a small scale for now (in job, jobs, privately or..who knows)...and build it up from there...?
Most important is my family, both here and at home. I value the peace of mind that I was able to develop, the kind that I haven't known since, I believe, early this year. I want to keep it and build on it.

It isn't so important to me what I do, so long as I can do something with it that has a minimum of impact on the people.

Currently, that involves writing an application for an apprenticeship in a (more or less) local media group. I'm also going to some lecture-like presentation at the job centre next month, to see if police work might yet come into question (I wouldn't make it through the medical examination if I started at rock bottom). And either this week or the one after that, depending on my schedule, I'll go to the city library and see about the internship they advertise. At the moment, I'd take anything to get me moving.
 
Most important is my family, both here and at home. I value the peace of mind that I was able to develop, the kind that I haven't known since, I believe, early this year. I want to keep it and build on it.

It isn't so important to me what I do, so long as I can do something with it that has a minimum of impact on the people.

Currently, that involves writing an application for an apprenticeship in a (more or less) local media group. I'm also going to some lecture-like presentation at the job centre next month, to see if police work might yet come into question (I wouldn't make it through the medical examination if I started at rock bottom). And either this week or the one after that, depending on my schedule, I'll go to the city library and see about the internship they advertise. At the moment, I'd take anything to get me moving.

:relaxed: you'll be fine.
 
Everyone works for a living. There are people who are lucky to pursue their passion and stay in love with their work while it brings them success, but it's not the norm. Eventually, all work becomes work and it's going to require more of your discipline than pure joy and passion. And no one is 100% disciplined all the time. You need to be replenished in other ways, doing other things and you need time for this. The fact that you're unsure and asking this question says as much. I would go for an option that allows you to be well-rounded in your day-to-day experiences.
 
Work to live. Don't drown yourself in your work, especially if you don't even enjoy it that much. It's like jumping on the express train to Burnout City.

Oh! I visited that place. Not fun. Its theme park is overrated, especially its emotional rollercoasters. ;)

I would say: work to live, and live to be passionate about things beyond work.
 
Oh! I visited that place. Not fun. Its theme park is overrated, especially its emotional rollercoasters. ;)

I would say: work to live, and live to be passionate about things beyond work.
Yes, I remember! Part of the reason I wrote that is cause I had your example in mind. Thankfully you have long left that place. :blush:
 
I must admit.. being totally engaged in a work that fulfills (with all personal requirements to feeling happy met) is fun, too ~~

that experience sticks just as much as having visited burnout city ^^"" torn between two sides.. #whatcanyoudo. :weary::smile:
 
I strongly agree with the above posters that as long as you find a balance in your life to include things that bring you happiness and fulfillment in your life—then that’s the way to go.

Work and personal enjoyment should be separate—however, if your job also brings you some type of gratification, then that’s also great too. Unfortunately, not everyone gets dealt with that particular card so the only option is to seek other things that could bring you to a place of satisfaction and deep enjoyment while balancing your career on the side.
 
This is an interesting question when I think about my personal journey.

I have a difficult time doing anything for an extended period of time that's not intellectually and/or creatively stimulating, even if it's a necessity. It instinctively strikes me as a waste of time, and I have a difficult time doing well at it.

Because of this, I was only able to study a subject in college that I found very interesting. The same goes for my career.

While I'm a software engineer by profession (been programming for a living for 8 years) and love developing software (I spend quite a bit of time outside of work doing it), it's the externalities out of my control that make my job frustrating.

I think a lot of people (myself included) go into fields with a starry-eyed perspective because we love a subject or type of work so much, but then you get tired of working with people, working for bosses, working in organizations that rarely value resources in the way you would like them to. While I like specific persons, people in general suck, and very few jobs don't have bosses, customers, random people that fuck up your shit, etc.

I always wanted to be passionately in love with my job, but I've just accepted that too many factors outside my control are going to fuck that up... So while I started with a "live to work" mentality, I've drifted more towards "work to live".

That being said, I'm glad my work is frequently challenging, stimulating, and enjoyable. I don't think I'd be able to keep it up if it weren't.

There's more to life than work, regardless. Whether you love it or hate it, you're still likely going to come home at the end of the day and need to do something.
 
I think it is fairly self-explanatory. I have a choice to make which I have put off for way too long, and I can't seem to find the answer to this question.

Should I just work so I can pursue my passions privately and perhaps change directions later? Or should I dive (blindly) into a direction wherein the work would take up all my energy, if not more?

I'm almost certain that I already have made my decision, whether it turns out to be the right one or not, but it's still a question that I'd like your perspectives on.

Ginny, There is only one answer to this - WORK TO LIVE! Take it from me, I did the other one and postponed my dreams and passions to the point that I lost myself. Living for work is a hard, dreary, and many times thankless and joyless life. If you know your passion, find a way to get paid for it and GO FOR IT!
 
I think it is fairly self-explanatory. I have a choice to make which I have put off for way too long, and I can't seem to find the answer to this question.

Should I just work so I can pursue my passions privately and perhaps change directions later? Or should I dive (blindly) into a direction wherein the work would take up all my energy, if not more?

I'm almost certain that I already have made my decision, whether it turns out to be the right one or not, but it's still a question that I'd like your perspectives on.