Life Advice and Type | INFJ Forum

Life Advice and Type

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Asa, Jan 23, 2019.

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  1. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    What are your thoughts and experiences on life advice and type? Do you have examples of “life advice” (cliché, or not) that hasn’t worked for you, even if it works well for others?

    Currently, my point of view is that life advice may be ‘type specific’. Obviously, we are all smart enough to use the advice that works for us, and discard what doesn't work, but I keep wondering if type influences why the same advice doesn't work for all people even when it is assumed by those giving the advice that it will.

    For example: advice to “be in the moment” in order to destress works best for types who typically “live in the moment”. When these types get stressed, they begin to over-think and focus on the past or future. This is shadowy behaviors for “in the moment“ types. Advice to focus on the present recalibrates them. Intuitives are at peace when they are ‘in their own heads’, and that means they aren’t focused on the moment. Focusing on the moment throws Intuitives out of balance.

    Marie Kondo’s advice to declutter works for certain people and not others. Types who like order are stereotyped as “J” instead of “P”, though that is not what those functions mean. According to stereotype, XXXJs would find Kondo’s advice helpful because they thrive in organized environments, while XXXPs may work best in a more relaxed atmosphere. (Some think Kondo is a joke because her advice is ‘extreme’, and some live by her word.) Famous and successful creative people like Nick Cave and the painter Francis Bacon have/had notoriously messy work spaces. INFJs are known for their messy work spaces, even though they typically keep their homes tidy. Some people thrive in a bit of chaos, and others are swallowed by that chaos.

    It makes sense that “Live, Laugh, Love” works for fun-loving, people-oriented types, while quiet thinkers may perceive the advice as “superficial”. (Actually, many people find "LLL" silly regardless of type, but you know what I mean.) The people I know who like this phrase are bubbly, fun loving, and people-oriented.

    Advice to “be an individual” doesn’t work for types who thrive on fitting in. One friend said, “I’d like to be that way, but I can’t.” She meant that daring to stand apart from the crowd is not in her nature. She works in politics where rules and order are appreciated.

    The other day one practical, ambitious member of the forum (I won't use your name) mentioned that he follows his dreams, but his dreams are practical. "Follow your dreams" can mean anything, but it is usually interpreted as a daring move that attracts impractical idealists. Being impractical seems absurd and dangerous to a lot of people.
     
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  2. Ginny

    Ginny Idiot Savante

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    A great thought, @Asa . Not that you need anyone to tell you that :)

    I would like to add another example from my experience: I have been told often that I'm too sensitive and that I shouldn't let things get to me that much. The thing is, though, in order to thrive as a sensitive person, you have to allow some sensitivity in order to work with it instead of against it. My sensitivity is a gift from my intuition - or perhaps the other way around - which feels wrong and even harmful to disregard. Some form of openness to vulnerability is incremental for sensitivity to work the best way it can. Therefore, the sensitivity is not an issue at all. Rather it is the vulnerability that needs to be desensitised without inhibiting sensitivity.

    I believe strategies and value of sensitivity may not entirely relate to type, although it does, but on a more fine-tuned level of function development and function preference within the stack. The latter would then be the reason for those different strategies.
     
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  3. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    Real solid advice has less to do with type and more to do with circumstance. General advice pairs well with some type correlation.
     
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  4. Headstorm

    Headstorm On a mountain path.

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    I had to think for a while to come up with something (but eventually, something pops-up as usual). I agree with Wyote that advice has a lot to do with circumstance. But I do think there is a correlation. It would have to be linked to the specific functions.

    An advice that would be 'easy' for Fi users I guess and a lot less 'easy' for Fe users is: have a little faith in yourself. Great advice, but how do you do that?
     
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  5. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Yeah, I think that a lot of advice is oriented towards certain people over others. I got a lot of advice growing up and it was very difficult to sift through. This was around the time I started reading about the economy and personal finance. I wanted to understand how the world worked so I could make it work for me. After that, I considered my values, what was important to me, and how I would prefer spending my time.
     
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  6. noisebloom

    noisebloom theory conspirer
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    Terrible advice for types that I'm familiar with:

    "Don't overanalyze it" to Dom/Aux Ti types
    "Be in the moment" to Inf Se types (something I'm guilty of saying)
    "Plan ahead" to Inf Te types (something I'm also guilty of saying)
    "Try something new" to Inf Ne types

    These are all clichés, and I'm perfectly aware that even attributing functions to them is making a generalization, but sometimes hearing these things can be frustrating for people that struggle with the encouraged behavior and even seem alienating. There's some sort of crude social barometer I derive from personality theory. One might respond with "Feel the person out instead of judging them according to type", but... see above.
     
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  7. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    You should probably think about this some more
     
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  8. noisebloom

    noisebloom theory conspirer
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    be in the present, maaaaaan

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    :grin::wink:
     
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