It does appear to be an aspect of humanity to judge other people they encounter. These judgments tend to place the new person and their behaviors into the context of the judger's life, values, and experience. I think this is the default process necessary at least to some extent to form a conclusion about another person.
Having moved around much of my life, I have been placed in many different contexts and have received a wide range of judgments because of this. To be on the receiving end of an inaccurate, conflicting, and/or incomplete judgment puts me in mind of avoiding doing this to other people. I realize it is part of human nature, but I still want to deconstruct it in my mind and minimize the extent to which I do this. This includes not judging the people who judged me for example.
What works well to minimize assumptions that result in passing judgment on other people? I realize there might be some advantages to the process, but I'm unconvinced that it is worth much because it appears by its nature to be founded on flawed assumptions and misapplication of context.
My religious views exactly, but with an explanation. When we judge others, we should not argue when we are judged "accordingly". Step back away from the fire and cool off about our judging others, as we place ourselves in the same fire. Reminds me about hate; it is alright to hate something someone has done or is doing, but not to actually hate the person. Hate the act. When we learn to place our standards on a higher level, we experience life more fully. We should clean our room before we ask someone else why they haven't cleaned theirs, in other words. Hope that is connecting. How do we "judge" people, then? What do we do?
There is a gift some folk have called "discerning of spirits". Some people can basically discern the spirit of a person with little interaction. They have been gifted with this. It may or may not be something someone learns to do. Yet, I strive to discern the spirit of the other best I can without judgment. It may almost be similar to typing someone actually. That is not judging. We may view the person as being an infj, for instance. By doing so, we think we know something more about the person and possibly what to expect from them just a bit. We think we know what their personality is like, so we try to communicate with that type personality in a way to possibly share our own with them if we feel open enough to do so. We must acknowledge we may have even typed them improperly, too. We communicate and offer each other bits and pieces that grow into what the other person sees. Psychology, as little as I know about it, should teach to not judge people. There may be a wretched-looking soul walking the face of the earth with the mind of an angel, but we judge them to be inherently poor and misguided, withdrawn from the world, and avoid them. They, too, are people like ourselves. We should try to keep an honest, open mind; yet, possibly keep our defenses up about ourselves until we feel better about the situation. I have never been one to throw all caution to the wind and let it escape me. I greatly admire someone that does not judge people at face value. I have to throw an example in here for a second: go to a restaurant and the place does not have everything ready for service when the door opens. One person might say, "I don't believe all the food isn't ready yet". Another may say, "I'm sure it will be out there soon". Another may say, "Maybe we should go to another place to eat". Different responses could continue from different people.
Went to a business meeting once to have the man that called for it not show up. There were only three of us to be there. One guy says, "I can't believe this guy called a meeting and is not here". I hinted he may be a bit late or possibly an emergency came up. After sitting almost ten or fifteen minutes, my friend called his office for the office number of the man. He then called the guy's office. His secretary said he was at a funeral. It was for a friend of mine's Father I knew nothing about. I should have been there but did not know about it. Amazing how things changed.
They say "walk a mile in my shoes before you abuse, criticize, and choose"....think that's how it went. Loved the movie when Eddie Murphy came to America to find a bride. He was wrong in lying and hiding who he actually was a time or two, but the mente behind what his attempting to do touched home with me a lot. He knew he could most likely have what he wanted, but chose to look for a heart of gold rather than someone that just wanted his riches. He worked at a Burger King in his choice of his walk in life. He found what he was looking for. In the end, I think most everyone understood the path he chose. He was searching for someone that did not judge him for who he was outside. He wanted someone that wanted him because of who he was inside. He acknowledged the fact most people do judge people. Just some food for thought....
