Is There Really a Thin Line Between Love and Hate? | INFJ Forum

Is There Really a Thin Line Between Love and Hate?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Happy Phantom, Sep 21, 2017.

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  1. Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Well-known member

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    Someone mentioned this phrase to me yesterday and I'm not convinced this is a true statement. She was referring to a romantic relationship, so "friends" don't count for me. I'm still thinking about this...
     
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  2. INFJ16

    INFJ16 Well-known member

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    When done correctly/purely, the line is not thin at all.

    I think the reason people see it as a thin line is because when someone you love does something inconsiderate/ wrong (either to you or someone else), you dislike it more than when it comes from someone you dislike or don't know. Wrongful behavior stings more coming from someone you love, and you hate the behavior, not them, more for it. When you love someone, you want the best for them. You accept them where they are at, but you also want and encourage them to grow.

    I'm not sure I agree with this (it perhaps depends on the situation), but it seems relevant: "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference."
     
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  3. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    I don't think it's too relevant in the context of a healthy relationship because there are so many other qualifiers/quantifiers of things, but in terms of the scientific understanding of the emotional/chemical states that love and hate create it really is a thin line. The switch from one to the other is not far at all, which is different when comparing other emotional contrasts. I think this is perhaps specifically more the case between lustful love and vengeful hate.

    "If we can't fuck it, we'll kill it" ~Robin Williams
     
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  4. OP
    Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Well-known member

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    Good points.



    You really never know people which makes trusting them difficult. Things can go from good, to bad, to worse quickly, or over a period of time. If I hate someone because we have unresolved issues, I'm also allowing them to negatively misuse my time and energy. I don't need to love or hate anyone when I can just accept they exist.
    I had to think about this a bit before I really got it. Good quote.
     
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    #4 Happy Phantom, Sep 22, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2017
  5. James

    James Infamy, infamy.. they've all got it infamy
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    I think we may feel betrayed, angry or deeply hurt, but very few of us actually hate anybody. There's no point to it. But I do think the ones we are closest to, can unfortunately hurt us the most, even if they don't mean to.
     
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  6. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    For me, this statement has never made any sense. The distance between love and hate isn't a thin line, it is a solar system!

    I notice (and keeps tabs on) what people say when they paint with broad brushstrokes.
    For example, when people like a despicable, unlikeable protagonist in a book or movie and they say, "I like this protagonist because everyone is like this on the inside!" - I interpret that as them saying, "Well, I like it because I'm like this on the inside."

    Maybe the person who invented this saying, and the people who believe in it, have been in unhealthy relationships with people who have BPD or NPD, or other illnesses/psychological issues.
     
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  7. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Loved or hated, every man needs protection because every man must fall.

    [​IMG]
     
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    #7 Pin, Sep 22, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2017
  8. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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  9. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    Welp... I was going to respond using my own words, but they're all right here...
     
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  10. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    @INFJ16 brought up a good point, but for me, love is more forgiving. If someone you love does something wrong you're more willing to listen, take part in a healing process, and (depending on what it is) help them.
    A lot of hurt comes from our perceptions about love, loyalty, and what is right and wrong, allowable or not, and from our perceptions about people. Unless it is an abusive situation, it is our responsibility to maintain perspective. Relationships (whether friendship or romantic) can mask perspective.

    Love and hate? I still don't think so.... but love and pain, yes, absolutely, because of what @INFJ16 said. That's why they call it heartbreak.
     
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  11. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    Right. And when we're in pain we can experience anger or other strong emotions and confuse or express them as hate. "I hate you!" Which translates to "You hurt me." Or, we hate the pain and/or whatever action or words that cause it. The point being, we "hate" because we care. It hurts because we care. It matters to us. If it (whatever "it" is) didn't matter, we'd be indifferent. "Whatever."

    I'm non-scientifically imagining Sandie's article as the "thin line" is caring, importance, or value. Those thingies bind love and hate together. When indifference is experienced the line has been severed.
     
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  12. seira0807

    seira0807 Community Member

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    Isn't there a Shakespeare quote that says whether you love or hate me, I win because I'm still on your mind (paraphrase).

    I don't see hate as love. Hatred to me leads to violence, and violence certainly isn't love (but love may be used as an excuse).
     
  13. WonkyOracle

    WonkyOracle Permanent Fixture

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    Nope.
     
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  14. OP
    Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Well-known member

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    INF moment of zen.
     
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  15. Lurk

    Lurk [ what ]

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    PMed you.
     
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  16. PintoBean

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    I don't really think so. The commonality is that both are passion based emotions. Or if you don't like that word, both emotions run deep, tapping into our most primal selves. After that, I don't see them as thinly separated.
     
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