Intuitively trusting others vs actions | INFJ Forum

Intuitively trusting others vs actions

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by purpledaisy27, Aug 17, 2008.

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  1. purpledaisy27

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    i have found myself immediately making an intuitive decision to trust others versus based on their actions.
    my recent experience - i was part of a conversation that turned very bad. discrimination, talking down to me, harassment, etc. i continue to struggle with this! basic interaction with this person was ok - i had a strong sense that i couldn't trust them.
    on one hand - he may have had good intentions by being honest (which i appreciate) with me but on the other hand - who in their right mind would do such a thing.
    so - here's my struggle - i generally make an immediate decision to trust someone. even if several others tell me that i can trust them - i can not. if i can't get a 'reading' from the first min, i will try again later - it sounds silly but that's what i do. so, i find that i will purposely try to trigger a reaction from them to prove/disprove my point (making smart remarks or a simple test to see if they will throw someone under the bus). i have found that most of the time - i was right. which is scary and silly to do! and it makes it very difficult to trust anyone. luckily - i have a circle of friends, husband and a few family members that i would trust with my life!

    i'm curious to see if others have encountered this and how you have overcome this!
     
  2. gokartride

    gokartride Community Member

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    I read somewhere that we use alot of our brain power unconsciously through the use of intuition....lots of tiny bits of memory and experience adding up to give us that "funny feeling." Definitely something not to disregard.
     
  3. G.Kai

    G.Kai Community Member

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    I believe any true introvert might be mistaken for being cold. Extraverted people get energy from other people. As an introvert, I know how people can wear me out, and when it comes to making that intuitive decision about whether or not to trust another person, I think I'm always unconciously considering the "load factor" that person might cause me down the road. I believe my biggest people mistakes have come from failing to pay heed to my inner voice. At my age (55), I go with my instincts, regardless of what others may say. Sometimes people just creep me out, for no apparent behavioral reason, but I think a lot of intuition is a keen observation of body language, including very slight modulations in tone of voice, undetectable by more extraverted types. I believe the more we trust ourselves, the better off we are.
     
  4. OP
    purpledaisy27

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    That is a good point! I do find that I get more frustrated at myself when I don't trust my gut. I always want to give everyone a chance cause we all have a story and when something isn't right, I will unintentionally make them an outcast. That's probably similar to the 'cold' topics! My husband has told me that I can be a real not so nice person sometime. But, it's unintentional. I may respond with a remark that's direct and to the point - if i get that neg vibe - and can sound rude. Generally, it's cause I can tell through their body language or voice that they are full of it and trying to get away with something - it's amazing how much you can read from someone just based on their body language - and I generally call them on it. At times my husband or friends wonder where I come up with the stuff. Well, at least I don't feel like a complete nut job and that I should trust my senses. I have to admit, it's frustrating at times cause people don't know how to take it when I call them out - as nice as I can be. Thank goodness my friends and husband know me - they get a kick out of it sometime. I always get requests from friends/family to go car shopping or to met a boyfriend or girlfriend. That is a challenge at times - do I be completely honest or let them find out for themselves!? Anyway, I will leave that soap box! :)
     
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