Intuitively trusting others vs actions

i have found myself immediately making an intuitive decision to trust others versus based on their actions.
my recent experience - i was part of a conversation that turned very bad. discrimination, talking down to me, harassment, etc. i continue to struggle with this! basic interaction with this person was ok - i had a strong sense that i couldn't trust them.
on one hand - he may have had good intentions by being honest (which i appreciate) with me but on the other hand - who in their right mind would do such a thing.
so - here's my struggle - i generally make an immediate decision to trust someone. even if several others tell me that i can trust them - i can not. if i can't get a 'reading' from the first min, i will try again later - it sounds silly but that's what i do. so, i find that i will purposely try to trigger a reaction from them to prove/disprove my point (making smart remarks or a simple test to see if they will throw someone under the bus). i have found that most of the time - i was right. which is scary and silly to do! and it makes it very difficult to trust anyone. luckily - i have a circle of friends, husband and a few family members that i would trust with my life!



i'm curious to see if others have encountered this and how you have overcome this!

 

That is a good point! I do find that I get more frustrated at myself when I don't trust my gut. I always want to give everyone a chance cause we all have a story and when something isn't right, I will unintentionally make them an outcast. That's probably similar to the 'cold' topics! My husband has told me that I can be a real not so nice person sometime. But, it's unintentional. I may respond with a remark that's direct and to the point - if i get that neg vibe - and can sound rude. Generally, it's cause I can tell through their body language or voice that they are full of it and trying to get away with something - it's amazing how much you can read from someone just based on their body language - and I generally call them on it. At times my husband or friends wonder where I come up with the stuff. Well, at least I don't feel like a complete nut job and that I should trust my senses. I have to admit, it's frustrating at times cause people don't know how to take it when I call them out - as nice as I can be. Thank goodness my friends and husband know me - they get a kick out of it sometime. I always get requests from friends/family to go car shopping or to met a boyfriend or girlfriend. That is a challenge at times - do I be completely honest or let them find out for themselves!? Anyway, I will leave that soap box!