I was at the gym tonight listening to, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking” which is a book I have read and listened to before but it brought out some thoughts tonight. Actually, it made me feel guilty. I am not necessarily what the extroverted US would call a good friend. I don’t call to see how people are doing or even text and normally I can go months without seeing any of my friends and be perfectly happy. I care about them and hope their life is going great but I don’t feel alone at all. I am really pretty dang happy, the most happy I can remember being in my life, especially my adult life.
I am not a recluse, I see people every day at work and I do have a girlfriend who I see 2 to 3 days a week. I go out every weekend to do things with her and whatever else I want to do. I am always working on art projects, playing video games, writing, watching sports, going to the gym, seeing movies, going to museums and just doing whatever I want to do and a lot of it outside of the house. Anyway, the source of my guilt is that I read a lot of psychology books and a lot of them stress that in relationships, it's healthy to maintain other friendships outside the relationship. I realize that I am not doing this but I don’t do this regardless of if I am in a relationship or not and I am not sure if I want to. I maintain my individualism by doing my own things but doing my own things doesn’t normally include other people. If that makes any sense?
One of the closest friendships is with my younger brother who himself is also introverted. He lives with me and we get along fantastically. We understand each other and our friendship might look weird to outside people but for us it is what we like from a friendship. So when I got back from the gym, I started talking to him about all of this and we realized that in our entire life we can’t remember our dad ever having a male friendship. Our dad would be social enough when we had parties and guests over but he never actively went out and worked on his friendships. He was happy to come home, play solitare, read, write, play flight simulator and do stuff with us. My mom was a little bit more social but not much. She might have a friend over once a month if that. So we were raised by two total introverts as well.
I am like my dad in that I feel satisfied with my work relationships and my girlfriend as they fulfil whatever social need I have but as I read these books, I do wonder. Should I be a better friend, should I go out and try to make better friendships even though I am very happy with what I have? The other question I ask (as bad as it may sound), if my girlfriend and I were not to workout for whatever reason, would I be doing anything differently? And my answer is not really. Some things would change but nothing drastic. I would go to the gym a little more, spend the time I had spent with her doing more art projects, eat out less, spend less money and maybe go out with friends a few times a month to the bars or club instead of every other month. I used my own questions and story in this post but feel free to talk philosophically or use your own experiences. I am really wondering if some of the psychology books I read even consider how introversion and extroversion might impact these things.
I am not a recluse, I see people every day at work and I do have a girlfriend who I see 2 to 3 days a week. I go out every weekend to do things with her and whatever else I want to do. I am always working on art projects, playing video games, writing, watching sports, going to the gym, seeing movies, going to museums and just doing whatever I want to do and a lot of it outside of the house. Anyway, the source of my guilt is that I read a lot of psychology books and a lot of them stress that in relationships, it's healthy to maintain other friendships outside the relationship. I realize that I am not doing this but I don’t do this regardless of if I am in a relationship or not and I am not sure if I want to. I maintain my individualism by doing my own things but doing my own things doesn’t normally include other people. If that makes any sense?
One of the closest friendships is with my younger brother who himself is also introverted. He lives with me and we get along fantastically. We understand each other and our friendship might look weird to outside people but for us it is what we like from a friendship. So when I got back from the gym, I started talking to him about all of this and we realized that in our entire life we can’t remember our dad ever having a male friendship. Our dad would be social enough when we had parties and guests over but he never actively went out and worked on his friendships. He was happy to come home, play solitare, read, write, play flight simulator and do stuff with us. My mom was a little bit more social but not much. She might have a friend over once a month if that. So we were raised by two total introverts as well.
I am like my dad in that I feel satisfied with my work relationships and my girlfriend as they fulfil whatever social need I have but as I read these books, I do wonder. Should I be a better friend, should I go out and try to make better friendships even though I am very happy with what I have? The other question I ask (as bad as it may sound), if my girlfriend and I were not to workout for whatever reason, would I be doing anything differently? And my answer is not really. Some things would change but nothing drastic. I would go to the gym a little more, spend the time I had spent with her doing more art projects, eat out less, spend less money and maybe go out with friends a few times a month to the bars or club instead of every other month. I used my own questions and story in this post but feel free to talk philosophically or use your own experiences. I am really wondering if some of the psychology books I read even consider how introversion and extroversion might impact these things.
, so I keep my social circles small.