My father often says to me "I never thought you would have kids." For a very long time, I didn't. There's something about a biological clock and thinking ... ok, it's now or never. Two before age 30. I have no disrespect for those those who wait longer (or those who don't have any at all.) I know for me the issue was about not being too old when my kids graduated from high school, the health of the babies (birth defects increase as women age), my body being able to bounce back and for what ever reason ... it just felt right.
Kids change you. For me, it was about re-prioritizing my life to put their needs first. Adapting to this mentality of selflessness is automatic (for most), but exhausting. Most parents learn that they lose their sense of self for the first few years of a child's life. Reflecting on it though, is just normal human conditioning ... perhaps as we get older it is more difficult to change.
My kids have made me a better person. I'm more compassionate about children in general. I admit that I am not a "lover of small children." I obviously love mine and I can handle their friendships with others ... I'm just saying you would never see me volunteer to be the Santa Claus at a mall. When inviting people over to my house, I used to stress about every last item being cleaned. I perceived I was judged based on what people saw on the surface (b/c they never really knew me) ... children have relaxed me to host parties and not care so much in every last detail.
I see life differently. How? I'm not sure, I guess it is different for everyone. My kids have forced me to put myself in more social situations, which has been fantastic for my personal growth and why most are surprised when I say I am naturally introverted. It is after children that I have made 99% of my best friends. I lessened my fear of putting myself "out there" and taking risks on friendships. All of these friendships began because of children, it's amazing how much commonality they give to different personalities of people. They've forced me to develop the Sensing and Thinking facets of MBTI. I love when I receive and understand one more piece of this giant puzzle of life.
Both my kids are under age 10 (which I think age of child will vary answers as well.)
My question to INFJ parents is "How has your children changed you?"
Kids change you. For me, it was about re-prioritizing my life to put their needs first. Adapting to this mentality of selflessness is automatic (for most), but exhausting. Most parents learn that they lose their sense of self for the first few years of a child's life. Reflecting on it though, is just normal human conditioning ... perhaps as we get older it is more difficult to change.
My kids have made me a better person. I'm more compassionate about children in general. I admit that I am not a "lover of small children." I obviously love mine and I can handle their friendships with others ... I'm just saying you would never see me volunteer to be the Santa Claus at a mall. When inviting people over to my house, I used to stress about every last item being cleaned. I perceived I was judged based on what people saw on the surface (b/c they never really knew me) ... children have relaxed me to host parties and not care so much in every last detail.
I see life differently. How? I'm not sure, I guess it is different for everyone. My kids have forced me to put myself in more social situations, which has been fantastic for my personal growth and why most are surprised when I say I am naturally introverted. It is after children that I have made 99% of my best friends. I lessened my fear of putting myself "out there" and taking risks on friendships. All of these friendships began because of children, it's amazing how much commonality they give to different personalities of people. They've forced me to develop the Sensing and Thinking facets of MBTI. I love when I receive and understand one more piece of this giant puzzle of life.
Both my kids are under age 10 (which I think age of child will vary answers as well.)
My question to INFJ parents is "How has your children changed you?"
