Well, I'll take a shot.
I don't think you can change yourself, other than knowing this will happen.
But trying to be compassionate on a forever basis would really exhaust me.
I just don't think you can change her, right, so it's not like it's going to get better. You just have to be sensitive and make it work and that just makes me commit suicide.
I think maybe if you get your fill of conversation from someone, two others, that could help. Your expectations would be lower and you probably only have room for so much anyway. At least it works that way for me. Huge capacity to delve into things, but I can do that with the ones I need that with, and have fairly empty conversations with the rest of the world. I'd be surprised if you had and endless desire. But the part where it's your mom and you want to connect with her, well make it about her. What does she need. To feel that you enjoy her time. Well there's a saying. Act as if.
The point being pretend until it becomes you. You will find a way to make it your own.
I sounds like you are seeking her out to be someone that fills your intellectual pursuits. She's not that. So do that before you talk to her and find a way to get from her what she has to offer.
I don't know. Sounds good. Easier said than done.