INFJ and personal values

[Moon Pix]

I would just like to ask a question about personal values for INFJs. Im a little confused because I thought that being INFJ meant being a people pleaser and subscribing to the shared values of the group. However I often find myself coming into contact with people and I'm very consciously aware of the fact that it would be difficult for me to have a close relationship with them because our value systems are just so different (materialism is a big one - I could never form a really close friendship or become romantically involved with someone who I felt to be overly materialistic.)

According purely to type theory how would this situation play out differently between the different iNs? I don't really vocalise these feelings when I have them so is that just my Fe coming out and trying to avoid conflict? Would an INFP be more confrontational about it?

 

[Trifoilum]

Ni first.

In the most ideal MBTI world, Ni doms get to see -- everything. In INFJ terms, it means seeing all values; not just ONE group, but other groups, and the subgroups within that group and the outcasts outside that group; and how they saw other groups, within all its complexity of it.

Then they uses Ti to filter; to 'select' those values which fits the most with the particular individual. Thus most INFJs tend to take one value 'personally' (which is more 'personal' in terms of ....suitability, rather than personal a-la Fi. Really more like wearing that perfect dress and shoes that shapes your body well, compared to Fi and Ti's 'my favorite dress'), but is able to see why other people would have another value.

According purely to type theory how would this situation play out differently between the different iNs? I don't really vocalise these feelings when I have them so is that just my Fe coming out and trying to avoid conflict? Would an INFP be more confrontational about it?

Too wide, if I were to be honest.
But yes; when pertaining values, INFPs will tend to be more...not always confrontational (and us INFJs can get very confrontational), but personal.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Something to consider: Fe or Te implies drag to peer group positions thus 'instantaneous' interaction with someone opposing will trigger alarm bells.

 

[Trifoilum]

oh; consider the clashes of Fe. It can explains some clashes and why Fe users, who are supposed to be
a.k.a clashes of...values. Learned values, rather than personal values.
It's like, here you are, member of [insert group here], with values A, B, and C. Then you entered another group, with -A value.
Sometimes it may turn into conflict. Of values that may not necessary be your own values, but... "value A is the right one; why are you adopting -A?"

Compare it to Fi, which almost tend to be personally adopted; even meta values like 'openness' and 'diversity'.

 

[muir]

You're better off being around people who share your values.

I'm sure there's some saying along the lines of: 'if you whittle yourself down to suit others you may find there is little left'

Be yourself, do things the way you think they should be done and be an example to others