[INFJ] - INFJ and mainstream media | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] INFJ and mainstream media

May 9, 2020
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MBTI
Infj
As an INFJ, do you love the mainstream or hate it? I used to love Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande. Now, that I'm 20 I just hate this pop culture. I used to hang up posters everywhere as a teenager. I find it super embarrassing now.

A friend of mine used to tell me that I was immature and childish for doing this tho. I listen to pop music, woodstock, French and Greek music, 70s /80s and 90s. I hate how some people say that INFJs don't like mainstream music or trends. Well, I don't follow clothing trends but I do listen to some mainstream and pop music. Does that make me less of an INFJ? No. Less of an old soul? No. I feel like all those labels are not helpful. "INFJ do this, INFJs don't do that, if you do this you're an INFJ" bla bla bla. Who says that? I used to quite enjoy social media. When I was 14-16. Does that make me less of an INFJ? No. I deleted social media 10 months ago but it doesn't define if I'm an INFJ or not. It doesn't define ME as a person.

These labels piss me off. Yes, there are some INFJs who read scientifical books when they are 15 but I wasn't this way. I still think I'm an old soul even tho I didn't read scientifical books when I was 15 and was struggling mentally, isolated myself, was being bullied and struggled from some form of "phone addiction". Does that make me less of an old soul or INFJ? No.

Man, these labels make you so insecure, in my opinion. I feel so confused everytime I read those "INFJs are like this and that, they do this and don't do that".

I don't know, a friend of mine told me once that I seemed like an "old grandpa who sits in his armchair and smokes his pipe".(what do you think that means?) I'm a female.

Anyway , I guess all those labels don't stop me from seeming older than I am. Even tho I hung up posters and listened to mainstream music.

Sorry for the rant but I needed to get this off my chest. I hope someone understands me.
 
I feel so confused everytime I read those "INFJs are like this and that, they do this and don't do that".

First off, it should be noted that mbti does not exactly predict behavior. Also the way you orient yourself on the scale is going to be relational, so what an INFJ even is exactly, is kind of a loose term in itself.

When I was young I hated pop culture, I was actively against it. To me, anything that fed the machine was evil.
I still feel that way on some level, but I've grown to understand and appreciate more of the complexity of the world and of people as I've aged.

I am, and have always been, a grouchy old man on a stoop/armchair. It is where I am most in my element.
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I think there're a couple of mechanisms to account for the 'anti-mainstream' stereotype:

i) Certain personalities find value in the 'unique' or obscure, and even something they like that becomes popular can ruin it for them.

This largely seems to be related to processes of self-definition, and I think it's something you tend to see with Fi-doms.

II) Mainstream culture isn't suited to certain personalities, especially those further along the introverted Intuitive pole.

Right now, I think the fundamental reason for this is that mainstream entertainment is designed to cater to extrovert brains which require more dopamine-centric activities and sensory stimulation. By contrast, introvert brains prefer acetylcholine-producing stimulation (released in contemplation) and much less sensory stimulation.

Personally, if the mainstream starts to cater to my tastes, then I can buy into it (ii). I don't need it to be unique in order to find value in it, though I have some of those tendencies, too.

I think the best recent example I can think of is when the Game of Thrones TV show became mainstream popular. For some nerds that was great (II), for others it was ruined, and they had to resort to saying things like 'the books are better' (I).