[INFJ] I no longer find romantic movies appealing

Artemisia

Artemisia

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
I wonder if this is because I have been doing lots of internal work to get to know myself better these days or if our society as a whole has changed, resulting in less need for romantic movies and novels.

Romantic movies used to be my favorite genre (I was not much into romance novels) up until recently and after seeing several of them (mostly made in the 1990s and early 2000s) in the past few months, I have come to realize that they just don't interest me much anymore. The main reason is that they seem too unrealistic to me and they usually lack a strong female character (or if they have one, it is like a caricature as in Legally Blonde). I much prefer movies with more realistic themes, as well as TV shows like House of Cards, which deals with real issues of our times and has more believable characters and plots. Perhaps I simply identify with female characters in these types of movies/shows more, I don't know.

I was reading an article recently which was basically stating that mothers no longer read fairy tales like Cinderella and Snow White to their little girls because they are outdated and ingrain in girls the idea that a man will come and save them from their misery. If we think about it, these fairy tales were written centuries ago and are not really in keeping with today's reality. OK, this topic warrants a separate thread.....
 
To confess, I secretly love a lot of romance movies and cherish fairy tales.

I can see where your coming from though. In regards to films, I do dislike the way a lot of romance films portray the female protagonist as having to be dumb and dolled up in order to 'get the man'. I also don't like it how father figures in movies in general are almost soley portrayed as useless dumb beer drinkers, and how male characters are often presented as adverse and initially incapable of love, commitment and monogamy. I also dislike in film how affairs and cheating have somehow been glorified as wholesome and harmless romance, presented in a positive light, and therefore normalising such views, when there's nothing more abhorrent to me - I mean the reality itself is very ugly (namely for the one being cheated on). Yet as the saying goes (I guess it's a saying): society shapes film and film shapes society. So indeed the majority of blockbuster films may be said to simply reflect dominant social values and dominant social stereotypes - both of which are also often shaped/inflated by TV and film.
 
In general, I am less tolerant of things done poorly. And Romance, like Comedy, is one of the harder genres to really get right IMO. But I'll take my romances where I can find them, even if I am more picky.
 
It depends wholly on the mood I happen to be in at the moment. I am very rarely in the mood for romance movies, so I don't watch many.
 
Eh, it depends on the story and my mood really. I'm always going to love Pride and Prejudice. I'm always going to love Casablanca. I need a little cheese in my life.

But I get being over the over-done serendipitous romances, the rags to riches princess transformations, the Drew Berrymore/Adam Sandler rom coms, the stereotypical come-what-may chick flicks, and the boring ass "friends-with-benefits-anti-rom-coms" released every Feb. 14th. Been there, done that, seen it. How many times can you retell the same story?

You can give me The Princess Bride, Pretty in Pink, or Shakespeare in Love any day though . :)
 
bolognamacaroni said:
But I get being over the over-done serendipitous romances, the rags to riches princess transformations, the Drew Berrymore/Adam Sandler rom coms, the stereotypical come-what-may chick flicks, and the boring ass "friends-with-benefits-anti-rom-coms" released every Feb. 14th.
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Hate most of those kind of romance flicks, except I'm an old sucker for the Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler rom coms, I love it when they combine! They're my fave haha
 
PintoBean said:
In general, I am less tolerant of things done poorly. And Romance, like Comedy, is one of the harder genres to really get right IMO. But I'll take my romances where I can find them, even if I am more picky.
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I agree with this. Very much so.

But for me, this reality makes it all the more worthwhile when I find something of value. Like discovering BBC North & South for instance. :D
 
Night Owl said:
Hate most of those kind of romance flicks, except I'm an old sucker for the Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler rom coms, I love it when they combine! They're my fave haha
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Sorry, didn't mean that to be offensive! I actually think DB + AS have fantastic on-screen chemistry. 50 First Dates is super legit and everyone knows it. I just feel like they keep trying to recreate the same magic in a new rom-com every few years; yet they just haven't done it for me.
 
bolognamacaroni said:
Sorry, didn't mean that to be offensive! I actually think DB + AS have fantastic on-screen chemistry. 50 First Dates is super legit and everyone knows it. I just feel like they keep trying to recreate the same magic in a new rom-com every few years; yet they just haven't done it for me.
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Hahah, you were just stating your opinion! If I got offended over that I'd volunteer to face the rifle squad. I was just sharing my opinion too. Even if you hated DB and AS that would not trouble me in the least. Oh the woes of internet miscommunication :D And oh yes, most romances are the same old rubbish - rubbish which sometimes I don't mind as mindless entertainment, but indeed it remains rubbish!
 
The biggest issue I have with most romance movies have already been named by [MENTION=14675]Night Owl[/MENTION] and [MENTION=11526]Artemisia[/MENTION] and [MENTION=13730]PintoBean[/MENTION]. It's for those reasons mentioned that I tend to gravitate more towards the works of Makoto Shinkai concerning romance movies. I also like some korean movies of the romance genre such as "Castaway on the Moon" which have a more unique feel to them.

My personal favorite animated romance movie is "Voices of a distant star" / "Hoshi no koe" by Makoto Shinkai.

Just like Night Owl though, romance movies that glorify cheating aren't my thing. Betraying someone's trust like that makes me feel sick, there is nothing beautiful about it nor is it bitter sweet.
 
Artisan said:
It's for those reasons mentioned that I tend to gravitate more towards the works of Makoto Shinkai concerning romance movies. I also like some korean movies of the romance genre such as "Castaway on the Moon" which have a more unique feel to them.

My personal favorite animated romance movie is "Voices of a distant star" / "Hoshi no koe" by Makoto Shinkai.
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You and I will always agree on this Artisan. Shinkai simply gets it. It's not drama for the sake of drama. It's just storytelling with incredible animation and appropriate music.

CoMix = Phenomenal works.

Personall = 5CPS
 
Artisan said:
The biggest issue I have with most romance movies have already been named by [MENTION=14675]Night Owl[/MENTION] and [MENTION=11526]Artemisia[/MENTION] and [MENTION=13730]PintoBean[/MENTION]. It's for those reasons mentioned that I tend to gravitate more towards the works of Makoto Shinkai concerning romance movies. I also like some korean movies of the romance genre such as "Castaway on the Moon" which have a more unique feel to them.

My personal favorite animated romance movie is "Voices of a distant star" / "Hoshi no koe" by Makoto Shinkai.

Just like Night Owl though, romance movies that glorify cheating aren't my thing. Betraying someone's trust like that makes me feel sick, there is nothing beautiful about it nor is it bitter sweet.
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I love what I call the noodle movies by by Wong Kar-Wei, beginning with In the Mood for Love.
 
I'm not sure if there are many genres of films that I don't like. I think for me, it has to be done properly and artistically no matter what genre; great acting, directing, screenplay, cinematography and soundtrack.

Although I have always been cynical about 'love' and it's portrayed within western society (one of the main purveyor of which is Hollywood), I love a good romantic film. But great ones are hard to come by.

Being younger, I was always seeking (and getting angry by) the political messages and so on within films. I could see how such films were affecting people's relationships. But now, I tend to just watch them purely for entertainment purposes and 'switch' myself off to the subliminal messages. It does bug me that a lot of people, especially young children don't see the 'messages' and therefore see storylines and such as the norm.

I agree with @Artemisia; I have always thought some of the princess stories from Disney did give the wrong message to young girls. But then films do the same to women. Also the concept of the female lead not being as confident, in depended etc as the male does trouble me. Although I think as times moves on this is changing.

Not that anyone asked but here are some of my favourite romantic films:))

  1. You've Got Mail
  2. 500 Days of Summer
  3. Before Sunrise (and Before Sunset)
  4. Pride and Prejudice;)
  5. Brokeback Mountain
  6. When Harry Met Sally
  7. Call Me By Your Name
 
Pride and Prejudice has a lot of fans here. Right @JennyDaniella?


I agree with Pinto Bean that romantic movies and comedies are not done well often.
I am a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice (though, I prefer the Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfayden version, which is blasphemy, because die-hard Austen fans prefer the BBC version.)


We (So and I) actually just watched both Casablanca and Doctor Zhivago for the first time recently and were floored.
I know it is absurd that we hadn't seen these classics, despite the fact that I love classics, but we had not.
 
Asa said:
Pride and Prejudice has a lot of fans here. Right @JennyDaniella?


I agree with Pinto Bean that romantic movies and comedies are not done well often.
I am a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice (though, I prefer the Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfayden version, which is blasphemy, because die-hard Austen fans prefer the BBC version.)


We (So and I) actually just watched both Casablanca and Doctor Zhivago for the first time recently and were floored.
I know it is absurd that we hadn't seen these classics, despite the fact that I love classics, but we had not.
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The Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfadyen version is my favourite too:) Although I do love Colin Farrell; he's a true gentleman.

The beginning of the Kiera Knightly version (with the piano playing and camera panning across into the house) is one of my favourite ever beginnings to a film. The cinematography is breathtaking and casting is spot-on; I adore Donald Sutherland as the father. I hope I'm a father like him one day.


Whilst watching it with my siblings, they mockingly said that I reminded them of Mr Darcy (because of his 'stubbornness' and quiet demeanor). It still truly stands as the greatest compliment I have ever received. :tearsofjoy:

I have always though that Mr Darcy is an INFJ:wink: and he's one of my absolute favourite characters from literature, ever. What do you guys think?

I visited Chatsworth House last year (which served as Mr Darcy's home) and some of the scenes were shot outside it too. (Yes, I know I'm a geek, haha.)

The scene were Darcy states the following gets me every time...

“You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

On a side-note, one of the reasons why I love You've Got Mail is that it references Pride and Prejudice quite a bit:relaxed:. It also references The Godfather which stands as my best film of all time, but I digress.

I have never seen both Casablanca and Doctor Zhivago either. I was going to watch the former last Christmas but forgot. They're both going on my to-watch list, cheers:)

Oh, how could I forget - I watched Amélie for the first time last year and it has become one of my top ten films. The central character is without a doubt an INFJ and the film is just heartwarmingly beautiful. The soundtrack by Yann Tiersen is just awe-inspiring (I learnt the main piece Comptine d`un autre ete - l`apres-midi on piano and play it almost daily). I could just go on all night about this one so I'll stop:tearsofjoy:.
 
@Jonah Caan - People usually type Darcy as an INTJ and Lizzy as the INFJ.
You nailed the Ni/Se, either way though.

That is the best quote in the film.

Now I want to watch Amelie, again. I love that film!
 
I watched the whole BBC Pride and Prejudice with my mum for the first time this Christmas and it was ace.

Yeah I see Darcy as an INTJ. Honour, dignity and love. My kinda guy.
 
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