I have a staring problem... | INFJ Forum

I have a staring problem...

phaedra

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Jan 2, 2015
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This staring problem only happens when I am engaging one on one with someone. I look into their eyes the entire time they are talking, even if they look away. I just can't stop looking at their eyes while they talk to me, but as soon as it is my turn to talk, I notice that I start averting my eyes, especially when I have to think really deeply. I never realized that I look so deeply and for such extended periods of time until I met certain people.
The first time was by a girl when we were both in 5th grade. She told me that I never blink when I talk to her, I just stare.
The second time I realized how long the length of my stares are is a few months ago when I met this guy in one of my college classes. When I would talk to him, it was ME that noticed that he stared just as hard at me as I did at him. He didn't even look away ever when he was speaking to me, like our eyes were completely locked onto the other. No blinking or anything either. It really unnerved me to no end. It felt like he was probing my being and I was probing his, which had me wondering if he was an INFJ as well. I've never felt something like that from another, though I am not sure if I've ever met another INFJ. I was also strongly attracted to him, which had me wondering if that was messing up by reading abilities as well.
And the main reason that I know I have some sort of fixation with peoples eyes is that I have almost ZERO ability to read peoples' lips. I just can't do it, and it frustrates everyone I meet to no end. It's like I focus so hard on the eye area that I forget everything else around. Sometimes I forget that I am even looking at a person, and only come back into reality when it is my turn in the conversation.

So I am wondering if this is an INFJ thing. I just see so much in someone's eyes, almost like their soul is revealed to through the eyes. I can distinctly recall meeting people and not wanting anything to do with them just because of something I saw in their eyes. Is it like that for you as well? What is your experience when you talk to someone? I've talked to some people about the whole "soul is in the eyes" thing, but I could feel that they didn't really understand my meaning.
 
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So I am wondering if this is an INFJ thing. I just see so much in someone's eyes, almost like their soul is revealed to through the eyes. I can distinctly recall meeting people and not wanting anything to do with them just because of something I saw in their eyes. Is it like that for you as well? What is your experience when you talk to someone? I've talked to some people about the whole "soul is in the eyes" thing, but I could feel that they didn't really understand my meaning.

I don't read people's eyes, but I read their facial expressions, tone of voice, word choice, etc. I usually just get a certain vibe or feeling from people when I interact with them. I also don't make really intense eye contact, but I sometimes have trouble knowing when to avert my eyes and for how long. Especially when they avert their eyes a lot. I get confused like I should be doing the same thing. If I'm extremely bored in the conversation and/or tired, I might zone out a little while looking at them. I don't know if they realize this or not. I do realize when I zone and pull myself back to reality. It depends on who I'm talking to. What you're experiencing is not unusual. I have heard other people tell me similar things (not sure if any of them were INFJs though). If you're self conscious about it you could make an effort to blink more often, but I don't see a huge problem with it. Although, if it affects your listening skills a lot you might try to pay more attention to what the person is saying as well.
 
I dont have a staring problem, but with me, I tend to ask lots of questions and that's how I get a feel for people. My mind starts to analyze and create an understanding for people. If they asks ME questions, I tend to always try to revert back to them, haha.
 
I don't think eye fixation is an INFJ specific thing no

I think reading peoples faces in general is an INFJ thing

Often we'll read something in someones face they don't want us to know and if we are not careful they will at the same moment read in our face that we have just seen what they don't want us to see
 
This staring problem only happens when I am engaging one on one with someone. I look into their eyes the entire time they are talking, even if they look away. I just can't stop looking at their eyes while they talk to me, but as soon as it is my turn to talk, I notice that I start averting my eyes, especially when I have to think really deeply. I never realized that I look so deeply and for such extended periods of time until I met certain people.
The first time was by a girl when we were both in 5th grade. She told me that I never blink when I talk to her, I just stare.
The second time I realized how long the length of my stares are is a few months ago when I met this guy in one of my college classes. When I would talk to him, it was ME that noticed that he stared just as hard at me as I did at him. He didn't even look away ever when he was speaking to me, like our eyes were completely locked onto the other. No blinking or anything either. It really unnerved me to no end. It felt like he was probing my being and I was probing his, which had me wondering if he was an INFJ as well. I've never felt something like that from another, though I am not sure if I've ever met another INFJ. I was also strongly attracted to him, which had me wondering if that was messing up by reading abilities as well.
And the main reason that I know I have some sort of fixation with peoples eyes is that I have almost ZERO ability to read peoples' lips. I just can't do it, and it frustrates everyone I meet to no end. It's like I focus so hard on the eye area that I forget everything else around. Sometimes I forget that I am even looking at a person, and only come back into reality when it is my turn in the conversation.

So I am wondering if this is an INFJ thing. I just see so much in someone's eyes, almost like their soul is revealed to through the eyes. I can distinctly recall meeting people and not wanting anything to do with them just because of something I saw in their eyes. Is it like that for you as well? What is your experience when you talk to someone? I've talked to some people about the whole "soul is in the eyes" thing, but I could feel that they didn't really understand my meaning.

I have the same problem as you. Ive meet an extroverted guy who is just as intense when it comes to staring as I am.
ITS PRETTY SCARY HOW I BELIEVE IN THE SAME QUOTE. "The soul is in the eyes".
Personally, I dont think it is an INFJ thing. At least your not the only one. We could be twins:m190: