[INFJ] - How full a calendar is too full? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] How full a calendar is too full?

Elder

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Apr 22, 2022
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I was reading this article today:

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/20...the-infj-there-s-too-much-going-on-around-you

One of the listed reasons that an infj may be overstimulated was listed as
  • Your calendar is too full
This made me laugh an uncomfortable "whew, do you SEE me?"

I have done a lot of whittling down of my schedule over the last year and I still feel overstimulated.

Yesterday I lead a professional consultation and book club. It went OK, but it took a lot out of me. I then had a game day with my sons today. I will have no plans tomorrow, but will be leading another professional group on Monday, then heading into three long work days that I know wears me out. Then Friday I have an interview to attend and a social lunch with a colleague.

I know I will be very tired by next Saturday, and my life typically has multiple commitments of social and/or professional nature every Friday and Saturday. I try very hard to protect my Sunday and Monday.

I want to have get-togethers with friends when I am longing to visit and play, rather than feeling dread and anxiousness for it to be over so I can relax.

I also feel nervous that if I don't get together with people enough our relationship won't build, or I will get bored.

I really don't know what an appropriately full calendar actually looks like.

I know I will have to determine this for me, but I think it will help me find perspective to hear how other infjs manage their calendar and how well it suits.

I'm listening.

Tell me your stories?
 
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You probably shouldn’t put anything more on your calendar.

You see, it might not be around much longer. Its days are numbered. :p

Even Though I’m Not a Dad,
Ian
 
I can handle a busy schedule if I am busy with routine things: completing work tasks that I have done before, hanging out with old friends, commuting, etc. But novelty is taxing. On average, I can handle about one "new thing" per week before I start to feel constrained. A few weeks ago I had about three "new things" in one week: I defended my thesis, went on a work trip, and had to solve an annoying bureaucracy problem. I was basically catatonic on Saturday, and even this week there were lingering aftereffects in terms of overall focus and concentration.

I think of myself as a high-performance machine. It takes a lot of maintenance and tuning to get me in my best shape, but the effort is worth it, because when I am at my best I am capable of a fairly high degree of focus.

I am working on expanding my bandwidth, however. For the past few years, I have been blessed with jobs where I can manage my own time and space out new things, but in my next job I will have to work within others' schedules more tightly, I think.
 
It takes a lot of maintenance and tuning to get me in my best shape, but the effort is worth it, because when I am at my best I am capable of a fairly high degree of focus.
I relate with what you say here, at least somewhat.
Without a degree of regularity my mind doesn't like sitting still on one thing. I don't mind many new things a week but I won't be as productive that way.
If something isn't working in my life though it'll quickly exhaust me.
 
I am back here again. I have done so much to clear things from my calendar since I wrote the opening post. It actually astounds me re-reading all of that. No wonder I had a mini-breakdown at my boss around that time last year. :flushed:

I've stepped away from many responsibilities, but I still find myself overbooked and stressed. I end up crashing and then missing work.

I think I feel ashamed about how little social connection I can tolerate.

I think I could do well with one or two social events a month.

I just have so much programming in my head about what I "should" be doing and fear about not investing in what I think society says I need to be healthy.

When I have a lot of downtime...days...my mind starts to get creative. It feels like I hang on the edge of it, though. Never really feeling like it's OK to withdraw enough to immerse in it.

I used to think I had to be with people so I didn't get "weird". I think now, in MBTI terms, I have learned to allow myself to be shaped by Fe for fear of where Ni would take me.

Maybe, when I am old I won't wear purple, but maybe I will finally feel safe to loosen the reigns on my Ni. Be alone enough to see where it takes me.
 
I enjoy days when my schedule is full from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to bed, but only if it's all productive time. Whether I'm at my desk, in endless meetings, on the phone, or travelling to meetings, I relish getting things done. But if I get stuck having to make small talk for anything but a few short minutes, it can really take the wind out of my sails.

In my free time I like just sitting down with my eyes closed, reading, hiking, surfing, etc. I enjoy being with friends during outdoor activities, but strongly prefer being alone if I'm staying indoors. So, despite enjoying 'doing things together' with other people, I dislike socialising with other people.
 
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