[INFJ] How full a calendar is too full?

[Elder]

I was reading this article today:

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/20...the-infj-there-s-too-much-going-on-around-you

One of the listed reasons that an infj may be overstimulated was listed as

• Your calendar is too full

This made me laugh an uncomfortable "whew, do you SEE me?"

I have done a lot of whittling down of my schedule over the last year and I still feel overstimulated.

Yesterday I lead a professional consultation and book club. It went OK, but it took a lot out of me. I then had a game day with my sons today. I will have no plans tomorrow, but will be leading another professional group on Monday, then heading into three long work days that I know wears me out. Then Friday I have an interview to attend and a social lunch with a colleague.

I know I will be very tired by next Saturday, and my life typically has multiple commitments of social and/or professional nature every Friday and Saturday. I try very hard to protect my Sunday and Monday.

I want to have get-togethers with friends when I am longing to visit and play, rather than feeling dread and anxiousness for it to be over so I can relax.

I also feel nervous that if I don't get together with people enough our relationship won't build, or I will get bored.

I really don't know what an appropriately full calendar actually looks like.

I know I will have to determine this for me, but I think it will help me find perspective to hear how other infjs manage their calendar and how well it suits.

I'm listening.

Tell me your stories?

 

[aeon]

You probably shouldn’t put anything more on your calendar.

You see, it might not be around much longer. Its days are numbered.

Even Though I’m Not a Dad,
Ian

 

[mintoots]

I'm probably going to wait for other responses to learn. This is my June and my July is also already partially full up to the second week of august. I'm probably bad reference. View attachment 88589

 

[uuu]

I can handle a busy schedule if I am busy with routine things: completing work tasks that I have done before, hanging out with old friends, commuting, etc. But novelty is taxing. On average, I can handle about one "new thing" per week before I start to feel constrained. A few weeks ago I had about three "new things" in one week: I defended my thesis, went on a work trip, and had to solve an annoying bureaucracy problem. I was basically catatonic on Saturday, and even this week there were lingering aftereffects in terms of overall focus and concentration.

I think of myself as a high-performance machine. It takes a lot of maintenance and tuning to get me in my best shape, but the effort is worth it, because when I am at my best I am capable of a fairly high degree of focus.

I am working on expanding my bandwidth, however. For the past few years, I have been blessed with jobs where I can manage my own time and space out new things, but in my next job I will have to work within others' schedules more tightly, I think.

 

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

It takes a lot of maintenance and tuning to get me in my best shape, but the effort is worth it, because when I am at my best I am capable of a fairly high degree of focus.

I relate with what you say here, at least somewhat.
Without a degree of regularity my mind doesn't like sitting still on one thing. I don't mind many new things a week but I won't be as productive that way.
If something isn't working in my life though it'll quickly exhaust me.

 

[Elder]

I am back here again. I have done so much to clear things from my calendar since I wrote the opening post. It actually astounds me re-reading all of that. No wonder I had a mini-breakdown at my boss around that time last year.

I've stepped away from many responsibilities, but I still find myself overbooked and stressed. I end up crashing and then missing work.

I think I feel ashamed about how little social connection I can tolerate.

I think I could do well with one or two social events a month.

I just have so much programming in my head about what I "should" be doing and fear about not investing in what I think society says I need to be healthy.

When I have a lot of downtime...days...my mind starts to get creative. It feels like I hang on the edge of it, though. Never really feeling like it's OK to withdraw enough to immerse in it.

I used to think I had to be with people so I didn't get "weird". I think now, in MBTI terms, I have learned to allow myself to be shaped by Fe for fear of where Ni would take me.

Maybe, when I am old I won't wear purple, but maybe I will finally feel safe to loosen the reigns on my Ni. Be alone enough to see where it takes me.

 

[Matty]

I enjoy days when my schedule is full from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to bed, but only if it's all productive time. Whether I'm at my desk, in endless meetings, on the phone, or travelling to meetings, I relish getting things done. But if I get stuck having to make small talk for anything but a few short minutes, it can really take the wind out of my sails.

In my free time I like just sitting down with my eyes closed, reading, hiking, surfing, etc. I enjoy being with friends during outdoor activities, but strongly prefer being alone if I'm staying indoors. So, despite enjoying 'doing things together' with other people, I dislike socialising with other people.