[INFJ] How Fast Are You to Judge?
- Thread starter PintoBean
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In this world, things are not always what they seem first signed to me. Before I draw conclusions, a collection of data and perception must be collected for awhile on a person or thing, before conclusions are drawn. I believe everything should have a chance to be observed and examined before cutting to the chase.
I've often watched movies with others that have determined in the first 30 minutes of a 2-3 hour movie sucked, and throughout the movie it began escalating in something greater; a metamorphosis. Yes, some things could be changed for the movie to be better in your perception, but it's the overall status that counts in my opinion.
Even if I believe I'm 100% sure of a situation, I still let it play out the idealism into me being most likely correct before making an instant conclusion.
I believe everyone plays their own part in this world. No matter how diverse one's personality might be, whether you're overly aggressive, rude, or pass negative commotions, it doesn't matter, because that is the part that person plays, and we can learn how to be, or not be that way.
I've often watched movies with others that have determined in the first 30 minutes of a 2-3 hour movie sucked, and throughout the movie it began escalating in something greater; a metamorphosis. Yes, some things could be changed for the movie to be better in your perception, but it's the overall status that counts in my opinion.
Even if I believe I'm 100% sure of a situation, I still let it play out the idealism into me being most likely correct before making an instant conclusion.
I believe everyone plays their own part in this world. No matter how diverse one's personality might be, whether you're overly aggressive, rude, or pass negative commotions, it doesn't matter, because that is the part that person plays, and we can learn how to be, or not be that way.
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I have hot buttons and prejudices and sometimes I make up my mind that I don't like someone or dismiss them prematurely. However, I guess one of the gifts of being someone who second-guesses themselves a lot is that also Im also pretty alert to conflicting information and instances where I might be acting like an asshole so that I go back and reasses my judgments quite frequently.
But then are moments of intuition that are unlike my ordinary snap judgments. Usually those have a different feel, like a rooted knowing that I can't argue with and those are immune to my nervous second-guessing. If i take opposite action to any of those, I already know as I'm doing it that this is a decision that I will regret.
But then are moments of intuition that are unlike my ordinary snap judgments. Usually those have a different feel, like a rooted knowing that I can't argue with and those are immune to my nervous second-guessing. If i take opposite action to any of those, I already know as I'm doing it that this is a decision that I will regret.
I judge based on the first meeting. If I determine someone is nervous or otherwise uncomfortable, I'll suspend my final conclusion until they settle down and can be more natural. Other times, as was mentioned before, I get a feeling more in my heart than my mind that they are a decent person or garbage.
Last summer, some roofing dude came to my house because he noticed some roof damage from a recent storm. He some stuff and offered to do a free estimate. I let him do the estimate. After he left, I said I don't like that guy. We had our insurance company come out and do an inspection. Turns out there was a lot of damage that was intentional because that guy was trying to get more money from our insurance. I called the guy and told him that the damage was intentional. He didn't say much and I never heard from him again. A couple weeks later we received a check from our insurance company for a new roof anyway so that's cool, but that guy was a taint weasel.
Last summer, some roofing dude came to my house because he noticed some roof damage from a recent storm. He some stuff and offered to do a free estimate. I let him do the estimate. After he left, I said I don't like that guy. We had our insurance company come out and do an inspection. Turns out there was a lot of damage that was intentional because that guy was trying to get more money from our insurance. I called the guy and told him that the damage was intentional. He didn't say much and I never heard from him again. A couple weeks later we received a check from our insurance company for a new roof anyway so that's cool, but that guy was a taint weasel.
I try my utmost to avoid making moral judgments as in this person is morally bad because of X or Y, but of course as a human being that's an ongoing struggle. But in terms of making judgement calls, such as that person is carrying a knife and looks angry, therefore I discern he's likely to stab me, and thus I shall meander to the other side of the street - these are necessary and essential.
Still, I'll try and avoid saying that 'the knife carrying guy' is a bad person even if I judge he'll likely do something bad, because I've no idea of his back story, real intentions, mental health etc. Likewise, if there's some murderer, I'll judge his act of killing as being evil, but will try and avoid judging him ipso facto as a bad person. Like [MENTION=14730]Milktoast Bandit[/MENTION] as claimed as a trait of INFJ's in general, first impressions usually give me an immediate and accurate impression of the other person's motives and sincerity - do I trust this person, and if so, how much? Maybe I'll feel like one person is out to cheat me, another is insincere, and so with such people I'll keep my cards close to my chest. I'll adjust myself accordingly and keep my hand on my wallet (metaphorically and literally). I'll try and remain open to adjusting my judgement call on do I like/trust this person, but most of the time it's 'on the money' and future encounters solidify previous gut feelings. Still, I can hold a bias, but fortunately such biases are never locked in stone. There are some people I find hard to read, and until I know where I stand with them, and them with me, I'll play it safe and test the waters before getting too comfortable around them.
Still, I'll try and avoid saying that 'the knife carrying guy' is a bad person even if I judge he'll likely do something bad, because I've no idea of his back story, real intentions, mental health etc. Likewise, if there's some murderer, I'll judge his act of killing as being evil, but will try and avoid judging him ipso facto as a bad person. Like [MENTION=14730]Milktoast Bandit[/MENTION] as claimed as a trait of INFJ's in general, first impressions usually give me an immediate and accurate impression of the other person's motives and sincerity - do I trust this person, and if so, how much? Maybe I'll feel like one person is out to cheat me, another is insincere, and so with such people I'll keep my cards close to my chest. I'll adjust myself accordingly and keep my hand on my wallet (metaphorically and literally). I'll try and remain open to adjusting my judgement call on do I like/trust this person, but most of the time it's 'on the money' and future encounters solidify previous gut feelings. Still, I can hold a bias, but fortunately such biases are never locked in stone. There are some people I find hard to read, and until I know where I stand with them, and them with me, I'll play it safe and test the waters before getting too comfortable around them.
I don't like to think of "judging" as judging. Like the common saying: "Don't judge a book by it's cover" but honestly, I think most people do this; it only makes sense, book covers are aimed at it's audience. But I don't think that's judging I think that's calculating, or putting a temporary view on something based on passed experiences. It's a theory that still needs to be proven.
So I do make temporary judges about people pretty quickly I think, based on how they talk, how they interact with other people, their facial expressions, and yes, how they dress themselves. But most of the times I will refine that judgement as I get to know them. Maybe I mistook someone for being a hyper person when actually, they had just found out that day that their wife was pregnant.
Interestingly enough, people that I often dislike or have arguments with when we first meet, I tend to end up getting along with better in the future, and people that I think are lovely people tend to switch my opinion later on as well. For me, I think it's because at least I know the person I'm arguing with is being honest with me, whereas the little ray of sunshine tends to just be putting on a great first impression, but isn't really like that. That's not always the case, of course, but seems to be more often than not.
So I do make temporary judges about people pretty quickly I think, based on how they talk, how they interact with other people, their facial expressions, and yes, how they dress themselves. But most of the times I will refine that judgement as I get to know them. Maybe I mistook someone for being a hyper person when actually, they had just found out that day that their wife was pregnant.
Interestingly enough, people that I often dislike or have arguments with when we first meet, I tend to end up getting along with better in the future, and people that I think are lovely people tend to switch my opinion later on as well. For me, I think it's because at least I know the person I'm arguing with is being honest with me, whereas the little ray of sunshine tends to just be putting on a great first impression, but isn't really like that. That's not always the case, of course, but seems to be more often than not.
by intentional does that mean he got up on your roof and damaged it himself?
Fast; like right when I see them I size them up instantaneously. I'm pretty open minded about how I judge others; meaning, I leave room to be proven wrong or leave 'gaps to be filled in', but I do start to form an overall impression from the very beginning.
That said, some people are a lot easier to 'read' than others. I notice I sometimes pick up on things relevant to them, and will accommodate for that, even though I am unaware of it until informed at a later time (eg. When my classmate's family member passed away, and while speaking casually with him during break between classes, he somehow felt it was okay to open up to me about the funeral; naturally the conversation seemed to steer towards this direction).
That said, some people are a lot easier to 'read' than others. I notice I sometimes pick up on things relevant to them, and will accommodate for that, even though I am unaware of it until informed at a later time (eg. When my classmate's family member passed away, and while speaking casually with him during break between classes, he somehow felt it was okay to open up to me about the funeral; naturally the conversation seemed to steer towards this direction).
I like to think I don't make judgements quickly, but subconsciously I think that I do. I generally have a good idea of the person I'm dealing with and whether or not I like them very much. However, I don't tell them and listen thoughtfully and carefully to what they have to say, trying my best not judge them for who they are. I see it this way: if I judge them quickly and without thought, then I am not treating the person the way I would want to be treated. At one point, a friend of mine wrote me a note basically telling me that she thought I was a stuck up brat, but after getting to know me realized what a great person I was. Being judged and just judging all the time is a natural thing to do in society, but that doesn't mean I think it is right. For example, I come from a very traditional church, a church of Christ. We believe that being gay is wrong, but I'm not going to judge a person based off that one characteristic. It would be like if they assumed I was a gay hater because of my personal beliefs. I try to keep that separate when speaking with someone I don't jecessarily agree with. I love them for who they are, not for what they believe. (I don't think this makes any sense whatsoever, but I never do, so oh well 
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)I think it takes me a long time to make a judgement but once Ive made a judgement it's hard for me to change my mind. I might be better off being quick to judge and quick to change my mind. Sometimes I move like a snail about stuff.