Featured How do you nurture your extended relationships?

Send cards on the holidays, or call now & then. Some friends prefer email or texting - that's fine, that works for me too.
I like handwritten letters. There's something ineffable about feeling coarse paper in your hands, a tangible permanent memento that this was felt & said. Email, in spite of (or because of) its efficient immediacy & glowing digital backdrop, lacks the same verisimilitude. A well written email isn't bad, not at all, but it could be so much more if those words free in cyberspace are trapped in ink.
Or that's my thoughts about it.

My extended relationships tend to stay distant. Keeping up with them is difficult for me.

 

I keep a small notebook/doodle-pad for each relative and distant friend. I started doing this after getting mixed up about which cousin was going overseas one time.

I just write two or three bullet points during each conversation, so I can ask how a job interview went, or whether they ended up getting a pool, etc.

When I'm bored, I'll just look through the notebooks, and phone someone I haven't spoken to in a while. Some of my relatives are blown away that I'll keep in contact, and ask about stuff they told me about months ago. I guess it's just INTJ diligence and efficiency, which makes keeping in touch easy.

 

I do absolutely nothing for any extended relationship and never have. Once in a while I'll realize I haven't talked to anyone since the last funeral but I don't really try to keep in touch and they don't keep in touch with me. This is how my family has always been and will likely always continue to be. When one of us dies we will get together for a funeral and lie to ourselves and each other about how we will talk more and never do.

 

I call some family members to see if everything is alright. I don't expect a lot from them because they're focused on work and maintaining homes. Life is so hard that I don't expect them to contact me a lot. If I had a lot more leisure time and leisure money I would call them.

 

I don't really keep in touch with anyone other than a couple of colleagues and friends.

I've practically stopped talking to my extended family - there's the odd person I'll message to say hi to once in a while but otherwise nothing else.

It is me currently and it is extremely selfish, but I find it extremely difficult to be there for people right now. I hope to bounce back soon to be that little bit of sunshine to whomever needs it though.

 

Wait, you mean there are people out there who are not close firends?!

If i like them in a way i keep my bond with them. I don't have to keep it up, its there.
Now and then i feel i like to drop a line on FB, send a sms or the like.
When spending more time together like having a picknick i may prepare smth special to eat.

When i meet them in the city, they get a super smooth and long hug.... depending how much i like them... and it feels like i've seen them 2 days ago even if it was 2 years.

Thats it and tbh its not like they write all the time or care all the time... I still like them.

 

I don’t nurture them. They either stay with me or they leave. I am not good at trying to keep people interested.

I do have friends all over the world and some of them, I am certain, would take me in or help me at a moment’s notice and we both feel the same way. I don’t nurture that. It just is.

 

I advise online dating. Don’t use banal conversation starters. Get inspiration for conversation from profiles and photos of a person. Stop writing "hey, how are you"! And do not delay the date after you match. Apps are just an instrument to get to meet in person.

 

I think it useful.

 

I reach out to all of them from time to time. For me, those connections are very important and nurturing them is a joy. If you are in my contacts you will hear from me regularly.