Have you ever been deeply in love?
- Thread starter Gaze
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I have only been in love once, so I can't compare it with other experiences. I don't know how deeply I fell but it was enough for me to make a complete fool of myself at times and to feel like I was dying with actual physical pain when we were apart.
Thinking back on it, it was a kind of inexplicable insanity. Logically, my mind says do not even think about trying that again. You were a fool. Emotionally, I know my inclination is to try to find a connection with someone that will likely lead to that insanity again if a good fit comes along.
I am considering a lobotomy to prevent my emotions from ruling my logic again. Or I might just try to become an ESTJ.
Thinking back on it, it was a kind of inexplicable insanity. Logically, my mind says do not even think about trying that again. You were a fool. Emotionally, I know my inclination is to try to find a connection with someone that will likely lead to that insanity again if a good fit comes along.
I am considering a lobotomy to prevent my emotions from ruling my logic again. Or I might just try to become an ESTJ.
- Dec 29, 2009
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- INFJ
True love lasts a lifetime - not the 24 hour viral thing some people experience. Sometimes others fail to appreciate they love they receive, they don't love themselves and lack the emotional capacity to really experience it. Like they're walking through the world, emotionally color blind.
Next time, I will buy a dog. Those things are loyal... darn cats.
Next time, I will buy a dog. Those things are loyal... darn cats.
I wish. I've been in love, but never reciprocated. I want it, but I'm terrified of experiencing exactly what Scientia is talking about.
Stop it. I invite you to embrace your INFJ-ness or you'll end up more miserable than you thought possible.
What you described as your experiences with a great love is indicative of a Soul Contract....and you were meant to live that experience of meeting; falling in love; and then parting ways. Insanity is a huge indicator that this relationship was very significant for you.
So here's the thing;
We are not meant to avoid heart ache and the pain of separation. We are also not meant to avoid the sheer joy of loving another Beloved without any of our expectations and conditions placed upon them.
The plain unvarnished Truth is...that our Beloveds....the ones we choose to (allegedly) make us happy for the rest of our lives....are NOT meant to "make" us happy. The Beloveds we fall in love with are meant to show the hidden aspects of ourselves to us in order that WE can learn to love ourselves and those aspects. The people we fall in love with....those people we go insane for....the ones who make us act outside of our box...our comfort zone....are the Catalysts in our lives to trigger our Soul growth and open our hearts towards loving our selves.
That is our purpose for being here. We are here to experience the full range of Human potential including and especially.... all of the sorrows...and all of the joys....with full awareness and acceptance. We are not here to dip our toes into a love affair...get our hearts broken....build a wall around said heart in order to avoid future pain...and then sit around and moan about it.
Yes Yes...we are to grieve and rage and cry when our Beloved leaves us broken and lying upon the bedroom floor.
But neither are we to build a barrier around our heart after it was broken so "nothing like THAT will ever happen again"....
I know you know what I mean.... :tongue:
I encourage you to sit with your self in a quiet uninterrupted space and let your self tell you all about the pain still left over from your love affair break up. Treat your self with compassion and kindness because it's still carrying pain. Then allow whatever comes up to unfold without thinking and judging it.
It's as if we're a child learning how to do something and when we get hurt we don't want to do that again....but we must. It's like when I fell off of my horse...got hurt really bad...and then climbed back up in to the saddle again.
I've been alive for a long time now and lived a very large varied full life. From what I've seen the INFJ's are needed now more than ever in this world. YOU have a part to play. You are an important piece of the overall grand puzzle of this complicated existence of Humanity. When we deny who we truly are....we diminish ourselves...and those around us who are meant to interact with you will not be able to.
Please do not deny your INFJ-ness.
I thought i did. I've only had one relationship that lasted 6 years--which ended because he died. And although it devastated me tremendously,(i think up until now) i don't think it's was real love. We were young and it was more of a bestfriend thing..
The idea of real love terrifies me. I'm overly conscious on what i do and say that i'm afraid they'll leave me when they get tired. Actually the thought of someone i have invested feelings with, without an assurance that they won't leave me is what terrifies me..
So, i don't think i'll be able to experience it, i'm probably selfish or coward but, i don't think i'm ready to allow someone break me emotionally..
The idea of real love terrifies me. I'm overly conscious on what i do and say that i'm afraid they'll leave me when they get tired. Actually the thought of someone i have invested feelings with, without an assurance that they won't leave me is what terrifies me..
So, i don't think i'll be able to experience it, i'm probably selfish or coward but, i don't think i'm ready to allow someone break me emotionally..
It felt like what it would feel like to be an angel. Other experiences of love were more like being drunk.
I think I have, and it's kinda like hit with a bottle, and having birds flying around your head. It's a doozy. You feel so completely sunk, soul deep, and the feelings may not even be fully returned. It's an all encompassing feeling. But it's not necessarily healthy, if the person especially if it's not a great fit. It makes you question the logic and practicality of doing it again, but it is emotionally satisfying in a way that something more superficial isn't. It's one of the most selfless experiences of love. But if it doesn't work out, it can send you into a talespin that takes forever to get over. The hangover from it, takes not months, but maybe years, to recover.
Unfortunately, no... :/ Well, there's still plenty of time, hopefully.
I will always love him deeply and completely. I have always loved him this way. I recognized my twin flame immediately and it was familiar and comfortable and home for we two so enmeshed.
in this life memory, it was brief, yet eternal. for 8 years we fed our souls in a correspondence of poetry and perfect understanding in glowing iridescent light, but only a week together in the flesh were we given--indeed superb, just like all of the preceding words, but made touchable and warm, again so familiar, like it had always been home. one week..yet it was worth a lifetime of happiness to me. he's on the exact opposite side of the country from me, though opportunities and happenstance still draw me in that direction, such things also separated us ultimately. it was through enormous anguish that I cut the string. He is my muse, together we burned so very brightly. though it was not to be, not this time around, i treasure every moment and I will forever yearn. </3
in this life memory, it was brief, yet eternal. for 8 years we fed our souls in a correspondence of poetry and perfect understanding in glowing iridescent light, but only a week together in the flesh were we given--indeed superb, just like all of the preceding words, but made touchable and warm, again so familiar, like it had always been home. one week..yet it was worth a lifetime of happiness to me. he's on the exact opposite side of the country from me, though opportunities and happenstance still draw me in that direction, such things also separated us ultimately. it was through enormous anguish that I cut the string. He is my muse, together we burned so very brightly. though it was not to be, not this time around, i treasure every moment and I will forever yearn. </3
@Kgal --I just read your post above and your words have given me so much peace.
No, not deeply. I never had a relationship for a long time so.. I still have to experience it. Sometimes I doubt I will though.
You will, and it's rarely expected. And will likely hit you like a ton of bricks, because there is no feeling like it.
Now you're making me scared, haha! On one hand I want to experience it but on the other hand... it sounds terrifying. I'm afraid I might even run away from it.
- Dec 29, 2009
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- INFJ
I am older and grumpy and splitting up with a partner I've been with for over 20 years. I thought I knew what love was, and I think I've just learned how mistaken I was. I've met someone amazing. I'm anxious that I'm not on the rebound etc, but I truly don't think so. The new thing was totally unexpected, and probably I'll blow it.
If not I hope a great friendship might grow into love. In my heart and mind, it already has. All I want is to for them to be ok, and I wake up and go to sleep thinking about that, and how to try to help them every way I can. From a very difficult time, it has breathed new life back into me. Yeah I know it sounds dumb, but that's how it feels. All I can say is, Cupid ? Good shot. Last time you sucked. Now ? We're evens.
If not I hope a great friendship might grow into love. In my heart and mind, it already has. All I want is to for them to be ok, and I wake up and go to sleep thinking about that, and how to try to help them every way I can. From a very difficult time, it has breathed new life back into me. Yeah I know it sounds dumb, but that's how it feels. All I can say is, Cupid ? Good shot. Last time you sucked. Now ? We're evens.
"Inexplicable insanity"...this is exactly how it was for me. A feeling of elated joy that permeated every area of my life. A connection that went beyond words and a depth that has never been felt before. But it was inexplicable insanity. I knew it could never be and that the feelings were not reciprocated to the same degree. I ran...and long every day...
I've been madly in love just once and I let it blind me. We were dating and I thought we were doing good but later I found out he had been cheating me.
After this happened (3 years ago) I've noticed that I haven't been able to love or even become attracted to anyone. I now have some serious trust issues and it has a really detrimental effect on my life.
This guy still keeps saying how much he loves me and obviously wants me back but I just can't stand the sight of him anymore. I want to forgive him but I think I really can't.
After this happened (3 years ago) I've noticed that I haven't been able to love or even become attracted to anyone. I now have some serious trust issues and it has a really detrimental effect on my life.
This guy still keeps saying how much he loves me and obviously wants me back but I just can't stand the sight of him anymore. I want to forgive him but I think I really can't.