Hard choices | INFJ Forum

Hard choices

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by hithere, Jun 26, 2020.

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  1. hithere

    hithere Community Member

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    What are some hard choices you've made?
    Choices that may have gone against your mood, nature or impulse?
    It may have been a big choice for you. It may have been a (seemingly) small choice for you. The key is, it was a hard choice.

    Did you feel different once you made that choice and acted on it? If yes, how so?
     
    #1 hithere, Jun 26, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2020
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  2. OP
    hithere

    hithere Community Member

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    And what was your reasoning when you made the choice?
     
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  3. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    I think the hardest choice I ever faced in my life was wether or not to sign my mother's DNR form. She was hooked to life support then. The doctors told me there was nothing left to do but wait for her death. But I know my mother. She's a fighter. So for a while we kept administering medication that kept her heart beating, and her therefore alive. I wanted to keep helping her because she would open her eyes every once in a while and look around. I had to be convinced that only the medication was keeping her heart beating. I did not want to sign that form but I felt it was a choice that God coerced me to make. Hence, it was the hardest decision of my life because the entirety of my being was against it. It took a long time before I was able to accept it. For the longest time, I held my self responsible for her death through that DNR. What if miracles were true and I couldn't let it happen because I signed the DNR? I had these thoughts. Of course if miracles wanted to happen, then she shouldn't have gotten cancer in the first place. Hence, I was convinced of the Lord's coercion. It was hard to move on from that but I am better now. There are things beyond me and above me that cause pain but are necessary nonetheless.
     
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  4. Hostarius

    Hostarius A L I G N

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    :<3:

    You're innocent, Min. I'm glad you've been able to come to that conclusion.
     
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  5. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Huh? How so?
     
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  6. Hostarius

    Hostarius A L I G N

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    I mean that you were not responsible for her death.

    Even in terms of formal decision theory, the information you had at your disposal abrogates you of responsibility for that.

    You also shouldered the burden yourself, protecting anyone else from having to bear the guilt that you bore.
     
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  7. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Lol I thought it was because I believe in God :sweatsmile::tearsofjoy:
     
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  8. Hostarius

    Hostarius A L I G N

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    The 'coercion by God' thing is an avoidance of responsibility, but maybe a necessary coping method before you could properly process it.
     
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    hithere

    hithere Community Member

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    Wow, that must have been excrutiatingly hard :hug:! You did the best you could with the info you had and if that was your decision at the time, it was meant to be.
     
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  10. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    That's a clear way of framing it. Looking back, that must have been the case. I felt responsible for her death even though I did not want to be.
     
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  11. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Yes. These things are not in our hands. We are living borrowed lives. The god voice in me forgets that sometimes.
     
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  12. Panfan

    Panfan Newbie

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    That must be really hard for you.. :cry: I’m glad you feel better now..

    I think one of the hardest choice I made is moving across the state. The situation was very difficult at that time, so it didn’t seem like a choice for me..

    Leaving my loved ones was really painful. I tried to pretend that I was okay, but I was broken inside. Things went downhill after I moved, but I’m slowly building a new life here.. Hopefully I can return one day :relaxed:
     
  13. flower

    flower

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    My hardest choice was to not take my own life a few weeks ago and continue to live.

    I don't feel different after making that choice, unfortunately.
     
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  14. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    :hug:
     
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  15. flower

    flower

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    :hug:
     
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  16. Aneirin

    Aneirin AKA, David
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    Making medical decisions for my brother, terminally ill with AIDS. . his doctor told us of an navigational drug, AZT. . but for him to take he would have to stop all his other medications, including his antibiotic treating his cytomegala virus that would kill him in about 12 weeks if he stopped. He couldn't restart it if the the trial was not successful as the virus would be too wide spread by then. John told me to decide for him. . .I opted to not try. .
     
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  17. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Why?
     
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  18. Aneirin

    Aneirin AKA, David
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    if AZT was not successful, he would have died from the virus. he would have to be off the antibiotic too long
     
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  19. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    You made a loving choice. :)
     
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