Getting serious

slant

slant

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What does the term "getting serious" mean to you, and what are signs that a romantic relationship is "getting serious"?

Somebody recently asked me if they thought my relationship was "getting serious" and I was kind of taken aback by the question. I wasn't even really sure what that was supposed to mean, lol. It also seems like a weird question to ask but here we are
 
Wyote said:
When you touch the butt
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:laughing:

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Depends on who asks imo.

Either it means you're about to confess eternal love, you're touching butts like Wy said, or you're going to move towards leaving stuff in each other's places.

All depends on the boudaries that person has defined for themselves (and you by projection).
 
SpecialEdition said:
For me it's moving in together. I mean it's serious before that but cohabitation is when it's "this is for life" territory.
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Ginny said:
Depends on who asks imo.

Either it means you're about to confess eternal love, you're touching butts like Wy said, or you're going to move towards leaving stuff in each other's places.

All depends on the boudaries that person has defined for themselves (and you by projection).
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I guess what my confusion is, if everyone has a different of what that term means, how are you supposed to respond to somebody outside of the relationship who asks it- according to their definition of serious or according to your own? It seems very convoluted
 
slant said:
I guess what my confusion is, if everyone has a different of what that term means, how are you supposed to respond to somebody outside of the relationship who asks it- according to their definition of serious or according to your own? It seems very convoluted
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Seriousness lives in your heart, and no one else's
 
slant said:
I guess what my confusion is, if everyone has a different of what that term means, how are you supposed to respond to somebody outside of the relationship who asks it- according to their definition of serious or according to your own? It seems very convoluted
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As long as everyone assumes to know or share one another's boundaries and expectations, it is.

But the most true answer for you is probably to reply by your own standard and not someone else's.
 
Ginny said:
As long as everyone assumes to know or share one another's boundaries and expectations, it is.

But the most true answer for you is probably to reply by your own standard and not someone else's.
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Well my immediate reaction was "maybe, it depends on your definition of what 'getting serious' means" lol

I suppose the question threw me off, I wasn't expecting it. I wanted to answer yes but then I realized I didn't know what the term actually implied.

Like, there must be some general definition that is intended with that term, right? Why is it so ill defined and murky of a term?

Is that representative of the changing state of modern relationships and people having a more casual investment in dating which makes it harder to presume that a relationship itself is "serious"?

My tendency is that if two people are exclusively dating, that implies seriousness. Trying to imagine being in a committed, closed relationship with another person but it not being "serious" kinda broke my brain
 
slant said:
Well my immediate reaction was "maybe, it depends on your definition of what 'getting serious' means" lol

I suppose the question threw me off, I wasn't expecting it. I wanted to answer yes but then I realized I didn't know what the term actually implied.

Like, there must be some general definition that is intended with that term, right? Why is it so ill defined and murky of a term?

Is that representative of the changing state of modern relationships and people having a more casual investment in dating which makes it harder to presume that a relationship itself is "serious"?

My tendency is that if two people are exclusively dating, that implies seriousness. Trying to imagine being in a committed, closed relationship with another person but it not being "serious" kinda broke my brain
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The definition itself is murky, because it doesn't define serious in the social context. And since the social is increasingly individual regarding private expressions (paraphrased from The Human Condition), it is even harder to figure out what loosely put expressions mean nowadays.

I'm sort of old fashioned. Getting serious starts when you're in a relationship (exclusivity is a no-brainer), gets serious when you hop into bed and becomes terminal through the prospect of marriage.

The confusion comes up when things develop in a different order, as people are wont to have sex before being in a relationship.
 
slant said:
I guess what my confusion is, if everyone has a different of what that term means, how are you supposed to respond to somebody outside of the relationship who asks it- according to their definition of serious or according to your own? It seems very convoluted
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"I like this person and am enjoying seeing where the relationship is going." I mean, it's a weird question to ask someone I think.
 
ThomasJ79 said:
In a social context it means making it clear to others you aren’t available or looking, and specifics aren’t any of their business, IMO.
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See this was my understanding but the person who asked me knew that we're exclusively seeing each other so then it started to make me question what "getting serious" is supposed to mean lol
 
Agreeing to be exclusive, attending events together and meeting family are all "getting serious" territory. Feeling comfortable discussing future plans together goes along with that.
I agree with Special Edition about moving in together, but I think it has to be more like "keeping house together". A lot of people live together for financial reasons when the relationship is not "the rest of our lives" material.
 
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