Enneagram typing help? | INFJ Forum

Enneagram typing help?

Discussion in 'Enneagram' started by sighhhh, Nov 10, 2019 at 8:04 AM.

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  1. sighhhh

    sighhhh Four

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    Hiya!

    Recently I have become interested in the enneagram but after attempting to type myself through both tests and my own opinion of what I have read, I am truly confused trying to find a type that works/ I identify with. For a while, I felt the most similar to type 8, however I soon found that being an 8 and an INFJ is supposedly so uncommon and incompatibly some people don't think such a combo can exist. All the tests I have taken claim I am most likely a 3, 5, or 8, which from what I have read both 5 and 8 are a highly unlikely INFJ type combo?

    With type 3 I don't feel as though I have the supposed "energy" or supposed natural likeability or enjoyment of attention, however I do like success and some praise (but who doesn't really?)

    Type 5 I deeply relate to their self-sufficiency and reacting to things in an overly intellectually way (caused various misunderstandings between friends and I) Also I often tend to react to negative experiences with isolation and silence.

    And lastly, type 8, as I said previously I feel most like an 8. As a child, I had a lot of anger towards life and pretty much everything around me, and my first reaction was always to argue (still is, although I try to make it less aggressive now that I'm in my 20s and want friends aha). I remember arguing with my dad once and he was demanding I respect his authority as a parent (lol like one does of course) and my response was "You have to earn my respect it doesn't matter that you are older", this and being called a "tyrant" when I was in middle school struck me as being a sure sign I am an 8, but again I can't tell as I am not as familiar with the enneagram than with MBTI. My doubts for being an 8 are mainly that I have always been an extremely anxious person, to the point it has caused me health issues.

    I was hoping perhaps maybe someone might have some ideas or could offer some help in trying to figure out my type anyone is at all interested? I am happy to answer any questions if it helps! Thank youu!
     
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  2. Maikl Jexocuha

    Maikl Jexocuha Community Member

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    HEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
     
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  3. OP
    sighhhh

    sighhhh Four

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    Hello!
     
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  4. Maikl Jexocuha

    Maikl Jexocuha Community Member

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    From my knowledge, the mbti ENFJ usually falls into the Type 3 or Type 8, INFJ is usually in Type 2, 4, 5. Being called a "tyrant" a lot, as a child, may indicate stronger "Judging" emphasis. A lot of people mistype, especially ENFJ, INFP, ENFP, and ISFJ as INFJ. Just check...based on what you wrote, it's hard to get a good understanding of your type as INFJ, honestly - and thus enneagram as well. And I don't want to just label "ENFJ" in from one post. So more info/explanation would be helpful. :)
     
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  5. Ginny

    Ginny Wolf soul

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    I'm deliberately not asking questions, since you know yourself best and there is too much nuance between types to accurately type someone from afar (i.e. it's too likely that someone asks the wrong questions out of bias). Just to say, any MBTI type can be any Enneagram type, since the former describes your inner world and thinking while the latter describes your behaviour.

    Have you considered moving into tritype and instinctual variants? They can influence the descriptions of how each type is expressed.

    Shame though, I recently bought the book by Beatrice Chestnut, but haven't got around to reading it yet.
    However, there's some very detailed information about the tritypes on this forum:

    Tritypes: https://www.personalitycafe.com/enn.../73452-27-tritype-archetype-descriptions.html
    Examle, Self-preservation 8s: https://www.personalitycafe.com/typ...servation-8s-according-beatrice-chestnut.html

    According to your description about anxiety and anger, have you considered Type 6? Some 6s become active to ensure safety of self and others (that they care about), however as countertype to the 1 (the angry ones), I'm not sure if they get angry. This is where I believe tritype comes in. I have seen a tritype xx8 that gets angry and irrationally assertive to serve their own self-image when it is questioned (although in that case it is actually just a disability to face themselves in a critical manner). Anyhow, this may have been applicable to your own sense of self at that age?

    It might also be of use to consider the arrows of stress and growth. They can narrow down behaviours as well.
    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-6/

    There is a lot of information out there, once you know what to look for ;)
    Hope this helps you.
     
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  6. OP
    sighhhh

    sighhhh Four

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    Yes of course! I did feel like someone was going to question my INFJness. All I can say is that while I would happily be any other type, I have been typed over and over again as an INFJ, even by one of my past therapists. Although I don't think even if I typed myself alone I would ever consider being extroverted because of how easily I feel drained by others, also the staggering amount of time I need alone to stay sane. I do know that I am more an INFJ than anything else, although I can't say that I'm all that happy about it because of how draining it is.

    As for more explanation/info, I'm assuming you are asking about my life and general traits? A more specific question would probably be easier but I'll try. I am generally surrounded by various sort of extreme opposite personalities? My two closest friends being an INFP and ISTJ, my parents (INFJ and ESTP), my brothers (ENTP and ISFP), which leaves me to mediate them. Often it starts off well, I'll sit each person down and listen/ empathize with them but then it frequently ends with me going back and forth between the two which when I realize they are technically still arguing, I get mad and end up trying to stop everything or forcefully get them to reconcile through intimidation since by then in my eyes everything has hit the fan and I need to get everything back under my control to prevent further splintering. This kind of thing happens on a lower level constantly, I'll start by trying to empathize since I want to protect everyone's interests to the best of my ability, but if it doesn't work my approach decays into aggression and intimidation. I think it is fear-induced as it is whenever I feel that the situation has tipped out of my favour. Sorta feels like someone trying to light a fire and when it doesn't work they start saying "just light! Wtf!" and the fire explodes and consumes them (don't know if that was a good metaphor lol). Strangely though I am often chosen to lead projects and my teams are generally successful (not to toot my own horn), while leading does give me a kind of buzz I don't like to elect myself for such positions because of tiring I find them and also because I want people to choose my leadership willingly. I will say though it can cause problems since I often overpower my own leaders which can create a weird dichotomy in a team, where I am the one giving orders, dividing duties, and planning for the vision of the person actually in charge. The actual leader though most of the time doesn't even mind though probably because I try to empathize and take on their vision as if it were my own. It only becomes really problematic when the one in charge is someone I dislike or don't respect in which case I will end up speaking against them constantly. Mainly because I can't keep my mouth shut when it comes to things that go against my morals or ethics, or sometimes just the fact they ignore the feelings of the team.

    Wooo I hope that was useful information! Thank you for your help :)
     
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  7. OP
    sighhhh

    sighhhh Four

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    Oh wow, thank you! Lots of info to look into. I haven't considered tritypes but Ill read up on them more now. As for type 6, I have looked at 6s but I have never feared making decisions, especially ones concerning only myself. And from what I understand about 6s they don't sound the type to feel comfortable playing the villain in the way I often do. While I can say that at least as a 6-year old I had very extreme separation anxiety I don't think it has followed me. I do feel the lack of trust but I think that is more an "I don't trust anyone else's judgement, so I need to rely on my own research" unless I've spent time on an issue and I cant seem to solve it, then I search for a second opinion (like now ahaa), however I rarely fully rely on them. I'll look further into 6s though, it's possible I could not be reflecting accurately.

    Thank you again!
     
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