ENFP reliability in relationships? | INFJ Forum

ENFP reliability in relationships?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by la boheme, Dec 11, 2014.

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  1. la boheme

    la boheme Regular Poster

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    There are several threads on ENFPs but I didn't see one dealing specifically with this: how reliable are ENFPs in long-term relationships? Are they more prone to stray? Do they have more trouble than INFJs, for example, staying in committed relationships? Does Ne make them chase after newer, shinier objects when their interest wanes? What are your experiences with ENFPs? What do you do to keep them interested? Does it work in the long run? And ENFPs, pls feel free to jump in and comment.
     
  2. JulesK

    JulesK Newbie

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    I'd like to know this, too. Reliability is really important to me. I don't want to always be wondering how someone feels, or having them give me good reason to wonder if they're really serious about the relationship. They're supposed to be a great match for INFJs but the way they're portrayed, even in tactful, laudatory personality description-speak they sound like they can go from smothering to dangerously fickle. I mean, my ideal relationship is pretty much "I really like you". "Oh yeah, I really like you". "Cool, let's go buy a drone and play with it this weekend". *googley eyes* and they live happily ever after and name their daughter Eva after Eva in Wall-E (if they're the having kids type).
     
  3. nosferatu

    nosferatu Community Member

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    I wouldn't know. I have never dated one. From what I've read on the internet, they can either be ridiculously faithful lifelong mates, or fickle. I'm not going to assume based on what I've read on the internet... All people have potential to become fickle and always go after a newer, shiny partner, especially if they have history of being in abusive relationships. From what I do know, from knowing a few, they are picky about who they choose to even date and commit to. But once they've made up their mind they can be very faithful. (Or not...But that's more of a human thing than anything)
     
  4. Scientia

    Scientia A true lady

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    I am married to one. Or I should say I was married to one. His personality changed recently to entp.
    In the beginning of our dating relationship, he was faithful but then strayed after two years but not in a way I would call actual cheating. Over the long term, he has always loved and supported me and is a fantastic father. As for being sexually faithful, I have no proof but am relatively certain that he has stepped out on me at least twice.
     
    #4 Scientia, Dec 11, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014
  5. cvp12gh5

    cvp12gh5 What a lovely way to burn...

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    It's hard to say. In my experience, ENFP's like a lot of attention and they need to feel appreciated for everything they are and do. I could see one straying if not given enough of these two things.

    I know an ENFP male (test confirmed) that has been obsessed with me for years now and he shows no signs of giving up. He believes in fate and love at first sight and thinks we are meant to be together. What I think is really going on is that he is confusing love with lust/attraction.

    I won't give him a chance which makes him even more persistent. I do feel that he likes the chase/challenge. He can't understand why I don't want him. He is such a great catch: successful, brilliant, and good looking (his words). But he left out one thing:he is MARRIED. I would have dated him if that weren't the case.

    So yes, they can stray if their specific needs aren't being met. From what I gather, his wife does not say thank you enough for all of the wonderful things he does, she doesn't mentally stimulate him, and she isn't affectionate enough. Things like that. Not that I am any of those things for him but we do have great conversation.

    I think if you want to keep them interested, you should provide mental stimulation and play hard to get (not what I'm doing but you get the point). And be attractive. If you cover all of their needs, then I do not believe they will stray.

    But not every ENFP is alike.
     
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  6. OP
    la boheme

    la boheme Regular Poster

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    This is a study correlating promiscuity and cheating with personality using the Big Five personality inventory. Since BF resembles MBTI the results should be familiar to you. http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/0...relationships/ The types described as most likely to stray would be extroverted percievers in MBTI terms. Does the study agree with your experience? Do you see ENFPs in this description? Or do you think other types better fit?
     
    #6 la boheme, Dec 14, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2014
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