Emotional depth and range in a partner

[Gaze]

Do you value emotional depth or range in a partner? Is having emotional depth or range important to you in your own life? Do you feel your emotional depth or range has shortened, lengthened, or deepened as you get older? Do you notice a significant change or effect in emotional depth or range in yourself or partner making a huge difference in how your relationship pans out?

 

[sassafras]

Do you value emotional depth or range in a partner? Is having emotional depth or range important to you in your own life? Do you feel your emotional depth or range has shortened, lengthened, or deepened as you get older? Do you notice a significant change or effect in emotional depth or range in yourself or partner making a huge difference in how your relationship pans out?

Interesting topic but I want to be sure I understand the question. Can you clarify what is meant by emotional depth versus emotional range?

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

I agree. Empathy vs. Sympathy? I can go deep and I have sweet range!

 

[Gaze]

Interesting topic but I want to be sure I understand the question. Can you clarify what is meant by emotional depth versus emotional range?

I guess, how intense you feel when connecting emotionally with someone and how many emotional moods or tones there are to someone's expression of feeling. Does that help?

I agree. Empathy vs. Sympathy? I can go deep and I have sweet range!

I guess you can talk about both. But I think empathy probably fits better in this case. How much emotional empathy do you expect of your partner? Or how much much emotional range does your partner expect of you? And does it even matter for you to feel happy with each other?

Hope this clarifies things a bit.

 

[sassafras]

In that case, emotional depth. This hasn't changed since I could remember. I have a hard enough time fingering out my own emotions. Adding a partner's variety show would only make things more difficult

 

[SpecialEdition]

My boyfriend is the definition of stoicism. He doesn't actually experience a very wide range of emotions and is not very emotionally expressive. I like him for how he is. Sometimes I think there "should" be a reaction or emotion there but it's just not how he operates. I wouldn't change it or ask him to be different. It works for us. I find sometimes that people's depth isn't really depth but rather instability.

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

I'm in the process of ending a long term relationship with someone that seems to lack depth and empathy. Based on that, I prefer depth. She has a range of emotions that often leads to impulsive, unstable behavior. I'd rather rest in the depths than drain my energy swimming all over the place in some turbulent emotional sea.

 

[aeon]

Do you value emotional depth or range in a partner?

I value both, but not when expression thereof reflects dysfunction, because that usually means one or both will be hurt, misunderstood, etc. All emotions are valid and are accepted. When emotions are not accepted in awareness they tend to be denied, sublimated, projected, and/or drive behavior outside of awareness, and that’s when they can become hurtful to any and all involved.

Is having emotional depth or range important to you in your own life?

Yes, but I suppose that is because it is what I know. I’m dramatic, mercurial, and sensitive, after all!

Do you feel your emotional depth or range has shortened, lengthened, or deepened as you get older?

Expanded in all ways due to coming to know myself, accept myself, love myself, and trust myself.

Do you notice a significant change or effect in emotional depth or range in yourself or partner making a huge difference in how your relationship pans out?

Absolutely. I need someone who is emotionally expressive in a way that reflects depth and a broad range of emotions, as well as a way that reflects emotional well-being.

That said, some people need less, or need none of certain kinds of expression. For example, I am easily moved to tears and/or to cry by any number of things, both joyous and sad, and oftentimes for no reason other than my being overwhelmed by beauty. In the culture I live in, some see that as indicative of weakness, and/or a lack of qualities associated with being a “man,” and so on. I’m not likely to be a good long-term partner for them.

I find emotional expression, and the nature of that expression, very important in how it shapes and colors all forms of exchange, from the most casual, to the highly intimate.


Cheers,
Ian

 

[TinyBubbles]

very much. i love when men are willing to show the extent of their emotional depth publicly, it's so against the grain of cultural norms and endearing.

 

[Bellosome]

Do you value emotional depth or range in a partner?

emotional depth yes. he doesn't have to be overly expressive but he has to somehow make me feel how deeply he feels towards me. my bf's an intj so.. well, he isn't as expressive as me but the rare occasions that he is, makes up to all the days that he isn't. Yet, we still have that connection.

Is having emotional depth or range important to you in your own life?

i think so yes. But i try to balance it out with logic.

Do you feel your emotional depth or range has shortened, lengthened, or deepened as you get older?

i think it deepened as i got older, because of past experiences.

Do you notice a significant change or effect in emotional depth or range in yourself or partner making a huge difference in how your relationship pans out?

i think so. before, when i didn't know about the mbti, i would always complain to him and break up often due to lack of emotions i get from him.. I felt like there wasn't any emotional connection (which he kept insisting there was) it's not until recently that he told me about the mbti and ask me to take the test. he knows he was an intj and had a hunch that i was an infj, so he adapted with what i wanted and needed. an intj, so i researched and read every single article i could find about them.

i look beyond a person's flaws as long as i think there's a deep emotional connection between us..

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Do you value emotional depth or range in a partner? Is having emotional depth or range important to you in your own life? Do you feel your emotional depth or range has shortened, lengthened, or deepened as you get older? Do you notice a significant change or effect in emotional depth or range in yourself or partner making a huge difference in how your relationship pans out?

This is a fascinating question and I just wanted to add one thing:

Depth is not the same as intensity. I think people can feel very superficial emotions quite intensely, and very deep ones quite gently. There's a difference here.

In many ways our language breaks down when trying to explain these things. I may come back to this for a fuller response, though.

 

[dragulagu]

In that case, emotional depth. This hasn't changed since I could remember. I have a hard enough time fingering out my own emotions. Adding a partner's variety show would only make things more difficult

Spoiler: Sassafras

oh behave!

*edit: iphone sucks for proper replies :/

 

[Daustus]

If I'm understanding the dialogue and terminology I would say emotional depth is important to me. Range and Intensity less so. I do prefer people that seem more emotionally constant but I think that's because I'll be affected by always reading the shifts in demeanor and mental state. If it's too rapid or frantic I'll probably start limiting my exposure to the person gradually.

 

[Pin]

Well, I've always imagined happy circumstances when it comes to relationships, partners, and marriage.

I like the idea of a smiling lady.

I have a preference for optimism and I often find myself avoiding people who are unhappy and unlucky. I am willing to give people a means to improve their circumstance but I don't enjoy drowning in their problems.

I think that a person should be happy, a relationship should be happy, a family should be happy, and that life should be happy.

 

[Infjente]

Well, I've always imagined happy circumstances when it comes to relationships, partners, and marriage.

I like the idea of a smiling lady.

I have a preference for optimism and I often find myself avoiding people who are unhappy and unlucky. I am willing to give people a means to improve their circumstance but I don't enjoy drowning in their problems.

I think that a person should be happy, a relationship should be happy, a family should be happy, and that life should be happy.

Haha! Keep her smiling!

 

[Pin]

Haha! Keep her smiling!

Yeah! It's getting better all the time.

 

[mintoots]

I'm not sure about emotional depth and range because as far as I have observed humans, everybody owns their own emotions differently. I do like an honest partner over a partner I have to constantly work on figuring out. It validates connection. I do also prefer someone who has the same values as I do, i.e. advocacies. We can have different interests, that's fine, but we should value more or less similar ideals.

 

[Pin]

very much. i love when men are willing to show the extent of their emotional depth publicly, it's so against the grain of cultural norms and endearing.

I can cry better than you!