Emotional baggage.

[drgreen19]

Hello, I've had this on my mind for a long time now, and I was thinking if it's common among the forum.


Emotional baggage... and its effect on interpersonal relationships.



What I find to be a significant impasse when it comes to connecting with other people, is how I can't help but feel uneasy with a lot feelings I've kept locked up and not particularly pleasant either. I mean, I'd like to have another person who I could share catharses and feel in a safe place, but I'm always held back with the never ending thought coming through "Other people don't have a responsibility for taking care of your emotions". It would seem really unfair, you could say, if when I met a friend, and tell everything to. From someone else's perspective, why should they listen to me talk about my BS to them. The problem came into play recently when I was talking to someone online, and I wrote I guess, a little too much and led to a lot of confusion as to what I was supposed to be inferring to. I had a very hard time trying to compose a new email as a response, because I did not want to enter the region I mentioned above. Forget Romance, Platonic relationships already give me a hard time, when you're looking for companions with luggage you're hesitant of coming out, if you may.

 

[KNelz]

Maybe try getting it all out into a journal?

I have two friends that I can spill anything to - one I'm married to (yay!), I've known him for 15 years (ESTP). The other was my highschool sweetheart (thank goodness my husband understands it's a FRIENDship) (known for 20+ years) (ENFJ). They probably both think I'm a bit off my rocker (but hey, that's part of the joy of being me!), are good listeners, and are good at telling me when I'm probably taking something too personally.

To save these two souls from ALL of my emotional turmoil, my journal comes in handy. It's really helpful to me to put my thoughts out there - to see them more objectively. It helps me sort out *why* I'm thinking about X - and identify underlying concerns. It helps me to put together an action plan for current concerns. (As in "I'm currently thinking about X, which happened 7 years ago. Don't know why this came up - maybe something having to do with Y, which is coming up next week? Who's going to be there, anyway? Is there something I need to remember about X that will come in handy for dealing with Y?")

I hope this helps you.

 

[#@&5&49]

I had a very hard time trying to compose a new email as a response, because I did not want to enter the region I mentioned above.

Just that would have been a good response email, and then let it go. Emotional baggage is in every single relationship, every one of them. There is no avoiding this. The extent of emotional baggage varies from person to person. If you have a lot you need to get off your chest, I would agree with @KNeiz, journaling works great for this. So do therapists - they get paid to listen to our endless emotional debris. We are all guilty of expelling sometimes uke:.
The best thing to do is just ask your friend how they feel about it. Maybe they're okay with it, maybe not, or maybe partially, or maybe only on Tuesdays, etc., etc..

 

[Trifoilum]

How good you are in being your own savior of yourself?

Nah, that's too complicated.
I think it's a good idea to try to let it out around safe places -- journals, artworks, physical activities...
Before burdening others.