Dog with abandonment issues | INFJ Forum

Dog with abandonment issues

Odyne

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Aug 19, 2009
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So, I've been volunteering at animal shelter for a couple of weeks now. I've come to love one of the dogs at the shelter a little more than the others. She's my favorite, and if I had any ability to take in a pet right now, I'd adopt her and make her my own. I have no idea why she hasn't been adopted yet, she gorgeous , she's young and healthy, she's great with kids.


Anyways, my puppy has abandonment issues from a previous break up with her owners. She's very quiet, very docile, she doesn't even howl like most huskies do. I don't know if that's nothing to worry about or if they are symptoms of a broken spirit.


I take her out for runs when possible and get her husky feisty nature back. They seem to do some good, but very little progress. I know they're not enough. What else can I do? What do you do for a dog that has insecurity issues because of previous bad owner-pet relationship/break-up?
 
Adopt her. If you can't do that then do everything you can to help find her a loving home.
 
If you're lucky, you may find a stimulus, like rolled newspaper or something, that'll get a strong negative reaction from your pup; manipulate that stimulus to make her feel more comfortable. I had a cat like this and just spent more time playing with her and being a constant variable. My lovely black cat had been hit with rolled-up newspaper by her previous owner, and would bolt from the room if I had one in my hand/under my arm. Once I figured out she'd been abused with them (I was ~ 10 y.o), I made a show of unrolling them and placing them away from me. Then I would just call for her, usually with some turkey in hand (She loved the stuff more than I did!), and gradually re-patterned her to not be afraid.

I hope you can help her, pets can be beloved, if small, companions. Good luck =)
 
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Oh Odyne. Korg and I went to an animal shelter last weekend.
It broke my heart. I saw those dogs in their runners and I wanted
to take them all home. There was one in particular that seemed
more sad than the others. It was a big mixed breed. It had only
been there for about a month. I think it was confused and waiting
for its owners to come back for it.

I think more than anything you need to be careful of becoming too
close with the dog. If you can eventually adopt her yourself, I wouldn't
worry about it. If you become incredibly close with her and you stop
volunteering before she gets adopted by someone else, you may end
up breaking her spirit even more.

As it stands I would continue to do what you do, eventually she will become
less insecure with a constant positive influence around. It sounds like you're forming
a good, healthy bond. One of the things that prevents me from volunteering
with dogs is that I know I can't adopt them and I know that I would encourage
a very owner-owned relationship with the creatures. I worry about them starting
to think of me as their owner and then eventually getting adopted by someone
else and being back in limbo, like "where's Bird? where's Bird?". At the same time
I don't know if I'm over-analyzing the emotions of dogs.
 
That is horribly sad...
I've also found myself in a pet shop visiting the puppies...of course, unable to adopt..
Last summer we found one that was part westie part sharpei. She smelled like a foot but she was the sweetest and cutest dog.
I told everyone I knew that she needed to be adopted. I even took a picture of her and posted it online telling my friends and family where she was and that someone should adopt her if they were looking to add a furry family member.


Try to find someone you know who is interested in adopting. Do what you can to raise awareness that the shelter needs homes for the animals.

Of course, not all the responsibility is on your shoulders, but I think scouting around for a home would be the most proactive thing to do since that's exactly what the dog needs--a stable home and family.
Though she'll likely be adopted regardless given what you've said about her.

Otherwise, just continue doing what you are doing.
You're probably showing her that some people are still worth trusting.
Restoring whatever faith in humanity she has left just by spending time with her, and keeping her spirits up until someone else falls in love with her.

P.S.
I think it is awesome that you volunteer there!
 
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adopt her. With time youll bond with her and she will become more playful and happy. just pet her a lot play with her and sleeping hugging her helps a lot too
 
I once had a German Shepherd with abandonment issues. There was nothing I could do to make her more confident. She was just happy when I was around, but you could see the look come over her when I had to go somewhere, as though she were being punished for something. When I would get in the car she would come with head down, with a sad guilty look, like a dog gets when caught chewing on the furniture.

The worst part was that I had to abandon her, when I was moved to another country. However, the good news is that her new home was - and still is, I think, with a recently retired couple who take her everywhere they go.

All you can do is love an abandoned animal.
 
I think more than anything you need to be careful of becoming too
close with the dog.
If you can eventually adopt her yourself, I wouldn't
worry about it. If you become incredibly close with her and you stop
volunteering before she gets adopted by someone else, you may end
up breaking her spirit even more.


As it stands I would continue to do what you do, eventually she will become
less insecure with a constant positive influence around. It sounds like you're forming
a good, healthy bond. One of the things that prevents me from volunteering
with dogs is that I know I can't adopt them and I know that I would encourage
a very owner-owned relationship with the creatures. I worry about them starting
to think of me as their owner and then eventually getting adopted by someone
else and being back in limbo, like "where's Bird? where's Bird?".
At the same time
I don't know if I'm over-analyzing the emotions of dogs.

That's exactly what I am worried about, Bird. All the petting, hugging and snuggling is only going to encourage an owner-pet relationship between us and that's not what I want to happen, even though it is what I wish for sometimes. I don't want to send her into another separation-anxiety episode.

I think I have to try and help while remaining detached.


That is horribly sad...

I've also found myself in a pet shop visiting the puppies...of course, unable to adopt..
Last summer we found one that was part westie part sharpei. She smelled like a foot but she was the sweetest and cutest dog.

I told everyone I knew that she needed to be adopted. I even took a picture of her and posted it online telling my friends and family where she was and that someone should adopt her if they were looking to add a furry family member.

Today we've been given a 3 month old husky, also abandoned.

I don't understand people. Why buy/take on a pet that you can't afford to take care of!
Animals are not toys. It makes me so upset.




@Radiant Shadow your advice sounds plausible. We have dog behaviorists and trainers that volunteer with us from time to time. I'll talk to one of them and see what they tell me. I've also been thinking about having her engaged with the other dogs as part of a pack. Maybe this way I can remove the weight of the human element and have her trust her dog instincts and regain confidence.
 
[MENTION=1579]Odyne[/MENTION]

I think putting her among her own is an excellent idea. I misunderstood your original post to mean you might adopt her and thought to nourish a relationship prior to that to get her more comfortable; my bad. Do you have others her age to put her with?
 
@Odyne

I think putting her among her own is an excellent idea. I misunderstood your original post to mean you might adopt her and thought to nourish a relationship prior to that to get her more comfortable; my bad. Do you have others her age to put her with?

Yeah, we have a couple around her age, but not of her breed.
 
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Otherwise, just continue doing what you are doing.
You're probably showing her that some people are still worth trusting.
Restoring whatever faith in humanity she has left just by spending time with her, and keeping her spirits up until someone else falls in love with her.

P.S.
I think it is awesome that you volunteer there!

I agree, I think what you are doing is really wonderful. Just being around her will show her that all humans are not the same. She will come around slowly with time. We have a similar dog at home who worried us at first, now she is crazy and hyper happy all the time, lol.
 
She will feel better having a reliable, consistent routine that includes some attention and affection, but if you want to help her become more adaptable and comfortable you need to introduce her to new elements. Other dogs (and animals in general), other people, other places. This will broaden her experience and make her more confident, regardless of how shy she is or how little faith she may seem to have in people. Sometimes there's no getting them to open up to more than a select few, and that's fine if that's who they are. It's just good to expose them to as much as possible.

That's the downside of the shelter/humane society. It's great that they're not sent off to an immediate death because they're unwanted, but there are just so many that they can't get the level of attention they need. Fostering is great in this regard. I speak with people who foster animals (responsibly) and it seems like the best way to help those who are closed off so they can be ready for a proper adoption. It's what I intend to do when I reach a point where I'm settled in.
 
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If you think dogs are bad, try parrots! Socialize, socialize and... socialize! Take her out around town, meet new people, go to parks, have people pet her, play with her, etc. Just get her used to seeing as many new faces as you can and interacting with as large a number of people as you can. This way when/if she leaves you, she might be upset a bit that the person who took her on those walks isn't there, but she'll be able to adjust to being around her new people better.

Trust me... I know how it is! The challenge of working with so many of these animals over the years has been not adopting every single one of them! You just have to detach yourself and think about what's best for them in the long run.

Let me pat myself on the back for a moment and say, I worked through this issue with several dozen (or hundred... not sure) birds. Once they start opening up around people and coming out of their shell around new faces, they adjust a lot faster to a new family than they would if they bonded only to you.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive to detach yourself from an animal that just begs for love, but still socialize with them all the time. But, since it's the 35th anniversary of Star Wars, I can get away with making this reference - think of yourself as a Jedi; they're supposed to have a greater love for all things, but not become attached/have emotions for just one. :D
 
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